This will most likely be my last post concerning this matter as it is a waste of my time and energy and is about as productive as talking to a brick wall. You hear what you want to hear and not what's being said to you.



No-one is 'threatening' you into any position nor have I 'banned you, bashed you,' etc. I tried to settle these differences months ago by speaking to you and the other member of the band. I spoke my piece about how things had to be professionally. Had I wanted you out of the band I would haven given up on you then.



If you don't want to "waste your time arguing" then don't create the argument and don't argue back. You've already contradicted yourself several times posting in this forum alone, not to mention the rest of our correspondence. One minute you state you "didn't quit on us kids" and the next you "didn't do everything you wanted to in my project so you moved on."



In a nutshell, you're a fine guitarist and musically we meshed extremely well, however outside of that you are a liability to the band. Illin and SINdy left because they didn't want to deal with that, and in the end you almost cost the band Animal and Ambrosia as well. The sad thing is that all of them admire your playing and your ability, however your destructive nature is why none of those four want to work with you in the future.



There just comes to a point where one has to question if it is worth having a great guitar player if he can't work as a team player with the rest of the band. Threatening to punch our drummer, harassing our keyboardist, and bringing drugs into people's cars and homes after repeated requests not to do such shows how little respect you can have for the people around you.



So before you rant on about 'feeding the hand that bites' perhaps you shouldn't bite those hands first...

--- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- ---

Replying to:

Ah,but ah...

I wish to work with the project still.My motive has been clear in every detail.I won't say a certain member did something,sorry.

If you want me to work with you still,call me,come to my house,contact me.

I stand firm,I am trying to compromize my opinion,but I wont be threatened into a position.That's where this problem starts and ends.I enjoy the work we did.It's a shame that I couldn't continue to help him.Ban me,bash me,call me,do something.I feel like I didn't do everything I wanted to in Nathan's project so I moved on.Now you have me right where you want me,out of the band.

My self absorbtion comes from being blamed for everything that occured in that span of time.Instead of waisting my time arguing,I wanted to try to compromise the differances.

When simple communication dosen't work,I bail.I don't want drama and arguments all of the time.Just because the albumn is called''Tragically Ever After''dose not mean I have to be meloncholly about everything.I don't want to feed the hand that bites.

I'm sorry if I dissappointed you with this resopnse,but my

opinion is that you are good people.I don't want to change that opinion.I know you feel differently about me and that is a detrement.I am not responsable for what ANYONE else thinks and that's why I don't care to argue about false pretenses.I'm here,if you want me,I'm not avoiding you.

ALL THINGS ROCK,

Monster...

--- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- ---

Replying to:

I am going to ask one favor of you. Read this. I mean REALLY read this and try to think about it for a little while.

First, I am getting extremely sick of you bashing my husband. You keep saying and trying to make it sound like he is bashing you. That is bashing him when you know the facts. HE asked you to continue to work with him after he ended Zadoc. YOU did not listen to him. You see things as the whole world against you and that is the trait of a self-involved egomaniac with sociopathic tendencies.

You pick and choose words and phrases from writings and conversations to further your obsessive distrust of those around you and their intentions. Sometimes you do it for personal pleasure, sometimes for seemingly personal pain.

When you say favoritism, I am trying to figure this out. I can think of two members of the band that have left or been forced out because of you within the last year. Both times, Nathan had a choice, either discontinue working with them or discontinue working with you. He chose, at the time to work with you. They say third time is a charm. They also say bad news comes in three's.

When Nathan "dissolved" the band, I was in the living room when he continually told you over the phone that he would still like to work with you. I have no idea what you were saying on the other end. He must have said it at least five times. What part of that did you not understand. HE ASKED YOU TO CONTINUE TO WORK WITH HIM! You replied in later emails by calling him selfish among other things. HOW IS HE SELFISH FOR ENDING SOMETHING HE HAS WORKED ON MOST OF HIS LIFE BECAUSE OF YOU AND THEN STILL OFFERING TO WORK WITH YOU?!

When he decided to end the band over everything that had happened, words cannot express how disappointed I felt. I expressed to him I felt it was a big mistake to end his dream over something that he should not even be a part of.

You say, "I don't care how much you try to make me out like a careless wretch". Monster, the only person that makes you out to be that way is you. Anybody reading all these posts you made would never for a second take you seriously. You bring it all on yourself. Nathan is patient (too patient sometimes), caring, helpful, reasonable, and he forgives.

You know what strikes me as ridiculous and funny at the same time? It is so easy to quote you and the constant misstatements you make about Nathan and others, but you know what? You can never quote anybody to justify your reasoning for making people out to look like the bad guys. You say Nathan makes you out to be a careless wretch. Show me where that is evident. "If you really did care about your real friends,you wouldn't try to make one look like a winner and the other,well,a loser." Show me where Nathan did/does that.

"If being vengeful on one who is passive helps you,and helps the project,you can say

you did win." Show me one bit of ANYTHING that has ever shown Nathan to be vengeful. If you see him this way, you do not know him, and you never have. You have no idea who he is if you truly believe all this that you say about him.

"I don't take advantage of my friends and niether should anyone else" Do you truly believe or think that anyone else would ever truly believe that Nathan takes advantage of anyone? If you do believe that, you need to make an appointment with a counselor. If you do not believe that, you still need to make an appointment with a counselor because you really need help. Just see a counselor.

"I am taking all of the blame you are giving me with passive resistance." I laughed so hard I shot a Cheerio out of my nose.

The really sad thing is, when I think of how disturbed you are it even makes me miss having Dan around.

The things you try to do to people are horrible; imagine if I or someone else told your loved ones things that WERE TRUE that you have told to other people or done with other people. I won't do that, because I don't need to. You try to make Nathan out to be what you call yourself. You bring it all upon yourself, and you will never change.

If my predictions are correct, you will respond to this with some untruths, some discreet name-calling, some more accusations, and a lot more of the same self-indulgent, egocentric babble you are prone to. Please do not make me out to be Miss Cleo and have my prediction come true.

The most righteous thing I have seen you write in ALL of this is the following: "I'm the only one on my side." That is so painfully, precisely and annoyingly true.



Courtney