I really don't know what happens in my marriage. There are times that my marriage is up and more times when my marriage is down. I feel that as long as I do and say what my husband wants to hear things are fine. If I ask questions or disagree the problems are back. I have feelings that make me wonder what it is that is going on in my husbands head. We have been married since July 8, 1992. There are situations such as family and friends and work and health situations that get in the way and I always end up on the short end. I don't to lose my husband nor family. Please help me untangle my thoughts and marriage

Pray. Pray. Pray. You married this man for better or worse, in sickness or in health, til death do you part. My mother and dad were married 63 years before he died. There were never cross words in our home. The sat down like adults, never in front of the children (2), and talked out what was on their minds in a Christian way. Neither one was prone to use foul language nor put the other one down with comments on their lack of intelligence just because they did not agree on some thing. If there was a disagreement, they prayed about it. Sometimes it took more than a day and more than one prayer, as well as Bible study to see the answer.

I was married for 34 1/2 years before divorcing 9 years ago. My marriage was not built on the Lord like it should have been. I made the mistake of marrying someone who did not have a home life like mine and would not sit down to discuss problems like I thought all married partners did. I found out differently. I look back now and realize mother and daddy's pattern was the Bible pattern that all families should follow.

I recommend you and your husband sit down and try their approach. Unless both of you agree on whatever troubles your home, there will be turmoil. The ones you hurt most are the children. I know for a fact! Christian husbands and wives have a huge duty to love each other, work out their issues WITH THE LORD in all things and raise the children IN THE LORD at the same time. Parents are to exhibit Christ in all things. If you are not, both of you need to repent of your sins and start living right.

One cannot do it by themselves. That was the hard lesson I learned. Don't let your marriage turn too sour before the situation is turned around. Please.

I will be praying for you too!

Dear Shirley, Your post brought tears to my heart. I use to be able to be on the board every day and several times a day but since we moved and opened a Bible bookstore, I haven't had the time.

May God give you the wisdom and insight you need to understand what is going on in your husband's head. Is it his family who has the health problems and need him so much. I know that can take a toll on a person.

I like so much of what Dee said, talk with eachother. Perhaps arrange a "date" for the two of you. Some place where you can talk. If you can't do that, perhaps, you can write your thoughts down, give it to him saying when you have time to read this, please read it and then when we both have time to discuss it, let's do.

Many times in our marriage, almost 28 years, there have been times when we don't see eye to eye and stresses get in the way. But we have never gone to bed mad at eachother.

Shirley, I am praying. Wish I had more time to talk with you and help you through this. But talk to God and He will help you. I have every confidence in that, that He will help you.