Hello Again everyone:

I ask for prayers for my family. The last time I posted my mothers was home from the hospital. Her doctor says that she needs long term assistant. She doesn't want to go to a nursing home nor does the family want her to. However, each of us, her children work and cannot take care of her fulltime. So, we decided to hire home care people for her. The doctor required that she have someone with her 24 hours per day and 7 days a week.

All of us, her children, agreed that we would contribute a portion to help cover the cost of her homecare. Now, my brother and sister have stopped sending money. It is an extreme financial and emotional burden on me to handle paying for my mothers home care by myself. I don't know what to do but I know that I can't continue this alone. Each time I ask them, both of them tell me that they will send money right away but I never see it.

I ask that you pray for me and my family.

Thank you again,

Karen

Dear Karen, bless you dear one. May God continue to fullfill your needs as you tend to your Mother. I have seen this so many times. All the children mean well but it does seem to fall all on the shoulders of one. Just know you are in my thoughts and prayers.

Karen, I'm so sorry to hear about this. You're to be commended on caring for your mother. I'm a medical social worker and thought I could share a couple suggestions. When your mother was in the hospital, she likely had a medical social worker or case manager who worked on her discharge plan. Find out who this person is and ask them for any referrals to assist with home care that she is aware of for long term assistance. Medicare only pays for short term assistance, and if she has Medicaid (an income based medical through state's social services agency)they may have some programs to provide additional assistance at home. Another thing to consider is perhaps adult day care programs, some of which also have financial assistance programs. And if your mother has convertible assets, don't be afraid to sell and use the proceeds for her care. After all, though they may have emotional ties, her assets should be used to care for her first and foremost. Your siblings may have overestimated the amount they thought they'd be able to contribute, and frankly just unable to afford it any longer. I believe they should tell you this if this is the case, but they may be embarrassed and it looks like their actions are speaking for them. And if it gets to that point, please don't immediately discard her doctor's suggestion of having long term care assistance in a facility. Sometimes, our family members need 24 hour medical assitance and monitoring that exceeds our level of expertise. The earlier you look, the more likely you are to get the best facility offering the best care and environment for her. Some nursing homes are horrible, but there are some that are really great, and have actually enhanced the socialization and quality of life of seniors. You are in my prayers and I'm praying for the absolute best outcome for your mom and your family.