What is a good "packaged" answer when a client/puppy buyer wants to "talk about another breeder" with you or "engages in negative talk about another breeder". How can you derail that and sound nice, without blowing them off??

I don't want to say ANYTHING, frankly, I just have not come up with a good line yet that does not make me sound dumb, or too "unwilling to engage in conversation"

I can talk labs, my labs, but I don't want to discuss any other breeders, their labs, or anything. Whether good or bad, you know?

Is it best just to make a positive statement about that other breeder, and let it die, change the subject, any good ideas??

So far I just try to say something good about that breeder, then change the subject...

I usually find myself defending the other breeder sometimes, seeing things from their side too...its so weird...

Please, only honest ideas...no pot shots here.

This is a similar question to one I asked one time when someone calls and 'wants to know if you want to breed their *pet* male lab to your *itch"" Someone had a GREAT , nice response to that and I actually stored it in my computer to remember it. It was not condescending at all, very tastefully worded.

I was just wondering - why wouldn't you want to engage in the "good" talk about other breeders? As for the negative, I just say "I don't know about ....". Not very creative but it stops gossip.

You could simply say, "I'm not really all that familiar with his/her breeding program, and therefore don't feel comfortable speaking about it." Then you could politely but swiftly change the subject. That's how I'd handle it.

uuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhh...I did mention that, that I usually state something POSITIVE then change the subject....some people keep pushing, though, how do you disarm them, or redirect them...

Dear Wondering ~ It is very easy. You simply say "We all have different opinions of different people, and I respect the fact that you feel this way. However, I am not comfortable saying negative things and would appreciate it if we could change our conversation to talk about XX."

Good Luck!

KISS Just say, "I really don't know that much about them." End of subject

But i don't want to lie if I DO know much about them...so I'm looking for a better worded way of responding, and I agree, it must be KISS!!!

I tried this tonight: (although I knew more than I let on, but I did not want to talk about the breeder, nor feed into this person's desire to vent)
"My contact with __________________ breeder has been brief, so I do not know enough to comment."

I feel like I lied, that's why I'd like better wording.

thanks you all ahead of time.

Lie if you really don't want to get into negative comments. There is no other way around it. A white lie is better than feeding the frenzy.

Just say something neutral and move on. You don't have to be insincere. If the person won't allow you to change the subject, just politely say you aren't comfortable with the discussion. Then remember that person will probably speak of you the same way some day to someone else.

very true, the voice of wisdom there, Nancy, it will come back around, you are right.

I have a person who has a reservation with me on a pup, and is starting to email me about another breeder. I have declined to comment on them. Wondering if this is one of those situations where I should use my "sixth sense" and just not sell a dog to a person who wants to talk negative about other people, you know?
Funny, they placed their reservation just yesterday, and today already want to talk about another breeder, I'm like, "huh? what's the point?

Why can't you just say you don't feel it is appropriate to discuss other breeders or their practices and choose to focus on your own breeding program? You can then ask them what they would like to know about your philosophy, dogs, etc. If they choose to go back to the old topic, just stop the conversation and tell them while you will be happy to chat with them about your dogs, the conversation will have to end until they are interested in talking about your breeding program.

Polite people will let it go; anyone else is not worth the effort.

uuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhh...Pardon me! I was just trying to help! No need for snippiness - if you don't like my advice, don't take it!

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Replying to:

uuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhh...I did mention that, that I usually state something POSITIVE then change the subject....some people keep pushing, though, how do you disarm them, or redirect them...

pet or show client??
Like as in is this another breeder trying to talk about someone else??

I would listen your gut. If your gut tells you this person is trying to stir trouble, drop them like a hot cake!
Nancy is right, what comes around goes around and eventually it will for them. You don't want to be involved when it does.
I find that negative people show their true colors in the way they find joy in causing others misery.
doG forbid something ever went wrong with the dog you were thinking of selling them. You then could expect the same treatment of talking about YOU behind your back that you see them doing to another breeder now.
Just not very classy IMHO...

When I was searching for my second pup I was far more knowlegable. When discussing pup availability with a couple of reputable breeders that I respected, I was told that I should really ask some my questions to the breeder of that particular litter, like "you really need to discuss that with _____" or "every breeding program is different". I got it. When searching for my first pup, a highly regarded judge and Lab breeder, gently guided me through the search process by coaching me. She would say, if you go there, look at the surroundings, how many dogs are there, how much attention are they getting on a daily basis, go look (to educate myself), but don't plan on taking something home unless your gut tells you to. I understood what these people were telling me without getting into specifics, and out of respect for them, I didn't press for details. Hopefully, when prospective pet buyers are searching, they are asking all the right questions to the right people and are smart enough to use their intuition to guide them to the best breeder for their homes.

In my experience, the first question is "what do you think of so and so" - in which case the I Don't Know them defense might work.

But what usually follows is something like, "well, what do you think about a breeder who (does this that and the other)" .... they are obviously not giving up. What I tell them is something like, "it's like everything else in life - different breeders, or accountants, or shopkeepers, or whatever have their own way of handling their business deals and relationships. I can't really comment on what anyone else does - they have to do what works for them."

Sometimes that's the end of it.... If not, it's the "I don't feel that it's appropriate.... etc."

thanks Greg, I really like your approach.
You have all given some great input. Thanks so much

I was afraid to ask the "what do you think of so and so?" thinking I'd unleash a whole hullabaloo of stuff I didn't want to hear! LOL!

You know what, it hurts sometimes when you hear people talk negative about another breeder, you think, 'what if that were me?".

I think if you are always positive, people will pick up on it.

I have actually canceled reservations MYSELF thatI HAD on first class show quality (AWESOME) pups (if I told you the names of the parents you'd cry to hear I turned them down) , twice, because the breeder/owner kept talking down other breeders. I was like "do I want this negativity throughout my relationship with this breeder?"
NO!!!!!!!!! I lost lots of deposits (who cares??) I could have had two more champions by now, but I have a heck of a lot less hassle and headache, and possible heartache.
I just don't like conflict, I run from it.

Live and learn

You then could expect the same treatment of talking about YOU behind your back that you see them doing to another breeder now.

You're right. Granny always said, "if they're talking about other people behind their backs, then you can be darn sure they're also talking behind your back."

Stay clear of those types of people. I've cut gossips out of my life.

You've gotten some good advice on how to deal with it.

Some people live for conflict. They seem to thrive on it
Very sad, expecially when it's at another expense.

I have had this come up many times and I usually respond with "we're not friends, so I can't and won't comment on their breeding program". Implying I know who they are, but not privy to what they are or aren't doing, and will not involve myself.

If the person is insistant, which some can be, I will say "you apparently have your views on so-and-so pretty firmly set, so you don't need my input".

Sometimes it is fair, sometimes not. As we all know, you can't make everyone happy all the time, and whether it is jealousy or something else, people sometimes slam you when you don't deserve it. I prefer not to be a part of that, when possible.

Best,

Leslee Pope
Huntcrest