Tell me it's not hard being a "Breeder" when you say goodbye to your 1 1/2 year old friend because he didn't quite make it as a show dog/breeding prospect.

Tell me it's not hard being a "Breeder" when you put your heart and soul into breeding, whelping, raising and loving a dog, only to have to place that dog with another family after a year or more of him being your own family member, because you know it's the best choice for the dog.

Tell me it's not hard being a "Breeder" when you have to let go of your friend in the name of bettering the breed and for the sake of your other dogs so that your attention is never divided amongst too many dogs.

Tell me it's not hard being a "Breeder" when your hopes were so high for this dog you spent years planning the breeding of, raising and training him, only to have your hopes and dreams crushed by having to face reality. You know you are clearly making the correct decision, but that knowledge really only makes it harder in the end.

Tell me it's not hard being a "Breeder" when you turn and walk away in the driveway, tears streaming down your face, as your friend is leaving in someone else’s car, knowing you may never see him again, never hug him again, never feel his gentle mouth around your wrist as he shows his affection & devotion to you.

Tell me it's not hard being a "Breeder" when you sacrifice your emotions so that your friend can have the life he deserves.

Tell me it's not hard being a "Breeder" when you have to say goodbye to your friend because you love him so much.

Tell me it's not hard being a "Breeder"..........

It's very, very hard. I went through this with my baby girl a few months ago and I still cry for missing her.

That was ALL your choice. YOU decided to do that, no one told you that you had to send your dog to another home. I wonder what he thinks. It all depends on what you feel is important and what/who you can live with.
Actually, after I re-read your post --he is better off in a pet home.

What a horrible thing to say!! I guess you are just a horder who keeps them all because you are just plain SELFISH!
Way to kick someone while they're down.

I agree with Your Choice, you made your own decision to keep a dog only if it can show and produce puppies for you. Why can't "Breeders" be the kind of homes they say they're searching and screening for? Most of them wouldn't even meet their own requirements!

So sorry, I am sure you made the right decision.

That's where you are dead wrong.
Good breeders take back any dogs they have ever bred if they ever need a new home.
In a sense, they are prepared to be responible for each and every one, forever!
So let me ask you, newbie, what do YOU do with a dog that isn't going to be part of your co called breeidng program? Do you keep them all? Are you a collector? Or do you only breed every 5-6 years so you can rotate stock?
Isnt that more of a pet owner than a breeder then?

Some can be placed... some get to stay no matter what. Only you can choose the right thing for your own situation. Don't let anyone tell you how you should fell or act.
By the way, "newbie", I hope you become strong enough to one day to place a well loved Labrador in a home that would be able to give it more love than your own. Only a person with a hard heart would condem the selfless act of another.

And what's wrong with being a pet owner and a breeder? So many breeders are nothing more than glorified puppy mills that stand behind the title of being a "reputable breeder" just because they show and get clearances. If you really want to do the dogs a favor bring them into the house and treat them like the people do that you say you only place them with! How can you look at the 20-50 dogs out in the kennel and feel good about that? The truth hurts and the truth is most of these breeders treat their dogs like livestock, expendible and only important if they can produce. But you all pat your own backs and tell each other great job!

I agree with newbie, if you love a dog that much and he does not work out for showing keep him as your own. What is wrong with just having a dog to have one? I also understand that most are probably better off in a pet home where they will be treated like part of the family.

OP came here to speak to people who understand what she is going through. If you don't, then you need not reply.

I have placed 2 times, the hardest thing I had to do except put down a young dog due to an illness that could have been prevented by the stud-dog owner.

Give this person a kind word or go to another thread. Some of you are so judgmental, wait for the day you have to place or worse. Then you'll recall the day you said something cruel.

OP, it is hard being a good breeder. You made a decision in the best interests of your dog. Sometimes we can't place for our own reasons, I am sure you did this in everyone's best interests. Time will heal your broken heart. Ignore the witches, we know who they are.

Some of you guys are amazing! Geez- yes, it was this "breeders" choice AND, I believe she/he has the right to grieve the loss (albeit his/her choice) of this young boy! Give her some compassionate space around that loss!

At the end of the day, I would hope that the breeder I purchase from has enough heart to FEEL...but, if I were THIS breeder I would go deeper with the question- is this grief I am willing to sit with and KNOW in my heart of hearts that its all part of being a breeder- my loss in deference to the bigger picture. OR, do I need to listen to a deeper longing in my heart to be with this particular "friend" (and make the necessary accommodations to this choice). Only this "breeder" knows the answer. I suspect most breeders would say it can be very hard...only the individual can decide if they are willing to pay the price of admission. Peace to you with this choice!

Yeah, it's hard and it never gets easier and if the op is anything like me she probably already has a few pensioners that really aren't eligible for rehomeing. We have to make that hard call when we have a perfectly lovely and loving companion that is well suited to be the apple of anybodies eye. Labradors are wonderful but they are faithless beasts whose only crime is loving everyone. Your boy will miss his loving first owner, for sure, but he will not love his new family any less because of it. What a lucky dog to have the chance to be loved so much by more than one.

Holy smokes - you newbies are being very ignorant! If I kept every dog that didn't work out I'd either have stopped showing at all, or will have 50 dogs! Obviously you've never been in that position! Labs are very adaptable and most do very well in new homes. I do have some I would never place, but most of the younger dogs get placed if they don't make it in the show/breeding venue. And yes, it's very hard to do, but it's for the best, for both that dog and my family.

I will not apologize for it, and have many happy owners that have wonderful pets without going through the puppy stage, which many people don't want to do.

I remember the first dog I ever placed. She was 1 year old and didn't work out for breeding/showing. She was a house dog at my place so she wasn't in a kennel. I cried for days. The new owner brought her over to see me after a couple weeks and all she could do was pay attention to her new owner. She acted like she didn't even know me. That's when I knew I did the right thing. She and her new owner became best buddies.

It is hard, but it does get easier over the years, placing the ones that just aren't measuring up - in one way or another. I have given up a couple that left me distraught for days and weeks. I learned after that to make sure my heart is ready to let go. So, after weeks or months of deciding to make the cut - I live with the decision for a few weeks - until I know I am prepared to let go. We always find wonderful homes and they always adapt very well.

Yes, it is extremely hard. The only thing that makes it easier is to make sure he/she is going to the right home. When one goes, I just check my e-mails over an over waiting for that "we made it home safely, he/she is sniffing around and asking for treats. She loves her new bed, and Can't decide which toy is her favorite. Kids are thrilled with him/her" then while I clean my tears, I think, another happy dog.

How you evaluate this question depends on your breeding goals and the speed with which you intend to meet those goals. Personally, if I make a dog part of my family, the dog is part of my family. Period. I don't breed as often as some of you do. My goals are different. My rate of achieving those goals are different. My choices. I don't ask sympathy for those choices; I made my choices with open eyes. My choices have many downsides, but they do not include being a collector or
placing members of my family with others.

As someone who was fortunate to buy a bitch 10 years ago that "didn't make in in the show ring/breeding program", I just want to say THANK YOU! The breeder who allowed me to have her changed my life! She was my first dog, my first lab and my true heart dog. I never knew how much I could love until I met her.

OP, when you allow someone to have such a special dog, you are being a better breeder. You are making good decisions for your program, your family and the families who are lucky enough to get a "flunkie"!

If someone hadn't done this for me, I wouldn't have met so many wonderful people in labs. I wouldn't have started showing. I wouldn't even know just how special labradors are! You can't imagine how proud I was when I walked around with my girl and could tell people that she was "almost" a show dog!!

I suspect that while you are sad so see them go, you are ultimately happy that they will be living in the "lap of luxury" in their new homes. A very selfless act, indeed!

I cried.

In those moments that we all dread that tear us apart and you all know what I mean, I have wondered, if I had to do it all over again, would I? Well here is one for you all, I just went out into my kennel and played with 7 puppies that Im running on and I beleive the answer is very clear, Hell Yes! I would. My clan has been there for the good and bad, more than 15 who were the starters followed me here to Spain from the USA, plus the new generations that are now in my life and heart. We cant keep them all thats for sure but it is totally up to us to find them those homes that will feel just like we do when these guys rob their hearts!...just my feelings...

I understand what you are going through, a few months ago I wanted to place my girl...in the end I just wasn't strong enough to do it. Instead we are focusing on obedience and field. I just couldn't part with her.

I hope you get an update today about how your boy is doing, and feel a little better about your decision to part with your beloved boy today.

Yeah, it sucks. But yesterday I got a call telling me how my sweet boy spent 2 weeks on a beach! An email last week about another girl and her "human kids" and another and her three kids on vacation. Soooooo.. had they stayed here, they'd be hanging around waiting for me. Yeah it sucks walking back up the driveway alone, but it is far better for them. Just keep in touch with them and the joy will come back your way when you get the calls and emails.

In the end, it should be about the best interest of the dog. Whatever your reasons for breeding and keeping the number of dogs you have the question should always be will the dog have a better home with another family. The key is to find a great home. That is a breeder's biggest and most important challenge. You have to recognize when you may not be the best choice for the dog and make that hard decision to let him/her go. By the same token, be ready to take any of your dogs back for any reason.
Breeding is not for the faint of heart.

To the OP who just had to say goodbuy to her special boy...Almost all of us on this forum relate to what you are going through in this hobby. When we get those wonderful photos from the new families who adpot our retired dogs, it reafirms in my heart that I'm doing the right thing by our retired dogs.

To all you naysayers on this forum who are trying to make this new breeder feel horrible about having to let her beloved boy go to his new family, how would youi feel if you could no longer adopt a nice quality labrador puppy or adult dog because we were all shut down by animal rights activists or because we all got discouraged about having to get rid of all our beloved retired dogs and just gave up on our hobby ?

Not all breeders look at their dogs as Live Stock as you called it. However, if you are serious about improving your lines and the breed, you have to sit back and learn to be objective about your kennel or house full of dogs. With as many things that can go wrong with a young dog that one keeps for their breeding program, chances are good that this nice puppy won't work out in your breeding program in the end. I'm not into dog hording myself so I make the hard decision to search out the perfect family to adopt our dogs who don't work out and each time I tearfully watch one of our dogs jump into it's new owner's car and back out of our driveway, I swear that this will be the last one cause my heart just can't take it...then the process starts all over again the next time.

To those of you who are being judgemental towards breeders who get rid of their retired kids, maybe you should be thanking all the hard working breeders who do their best to bring healthy puppies into the world for pet owners to enjoy and to improve the breed in general.

I'm so very sorry, but know that you did something that was in the best interest of your boy !!

Not all us newbies are the same, I know and understand the pain of placing a dog. Even though I only have placed fosters, some have stayed pretty long while waiting for their forever homes and it was hard not to get attached. It was very hard watching them leave with their new owners. One I remember came to me as a puppy, about 9 weeks old possibly. Sweet as can be. Her previous owners didn't even give her a chance. Just chained her up and did nothing with her. She WANTED attention and seemed starved of affection when she came. I remember her so well, and miss her dearly. She stayed with us until she was 8 months old. The day her new family came to meet her was a blessed day. She LOVED them from the first time she met them , as they did her. Their 2 young children and her got along like they grew up together. It was just a heartwarming moment and I was happy she was finally going to be in a home with people who love her and cherish her as a member of their family. My last update included pictures of her with her young owners arms wrapped around her... It will never get easy. Although I have not placed a youngster, I have a feeling that day will come and I know in my heart it will be in the best interest for a faithful friend.

[[[[ Hugs to you ]]]]

Ultimately, it is about the dogs. A normal healthy well tempered Labrador, will do just fine with a new family, as soon as he gets lots of love and food. We are the ones that put human values on them and think they are "suffering abandonment". No, they do just fine. We.....we suffer the loss of a Friend, a kid, a companion, a pet, and yes a dream.....
I understand your loss OP, you'll fill better as time passes, but as soon as you keep breeding, you'll go through it again. Make sure you keep the cream of the cream, so you reduce the chances to have to place more kids in the future.

Thank you to all the posters who understood and replied kindly.
To the few that didn't and chose to reply in an unkind manor. I have have this to say:
I was never asking for sympathy or for anyone to "feel sorry" for me. Of course it was my decision and it was a decision I carefully weighed.
Never did I ask for pity, only understanding from the many others I know are on this board, that would "get" it. And I got that. Some of your replies made the tears come right back again with each line I read.
To the mean, finger pointing few, go elsewhere and throw your stones because it's very clear you will never understand why it's hard to be a "good Breeder".
As much as it hurts everytime I place a dog, I know it's all for that dog, not for me.
If you think that dog will be sad not to be here anymore, I doubt it. I am sure he will forget all about how he had to stay home when he knew very well I was bringing 'other' dogs to shows. I am sure he will forget how he felt when he saw the others loading up while he had to stay behind and wonder why. He did love to show, and had points as well for those that care.
I am sure he will forget all that when he is sleeping in bed next to the teenager that just lost her best buddy 2 weeks ago from a horrible illness. A dog I placed with her family 3 years ago as an 8 week old puppy. So when you ask yourselves why. Know this. Because I loved him. Thats why. Because I wanted him to have the most out of his life. And he will now.
Sometimes the choices we must make in life are not the easy ones, but the RIGHT ones.

I received an update this morning on my boy.
They say he is settling in just fine and he and their teenager have been inseparable since they picked him up Friday.
I can imagine it in my mind. He is such a momma's boy
My heart aches for him still but I know I made the right choice for everyone involved, and mostly, for him.

You're comfortable with placing him, that's what's most important. Not what others think. You found him a great family home that loves him as much as you.

Try to be happy for him, he's the apple of their eye and has no one else to get in the way of getting his owner's full attention. It worked for both of you.

Some breeders place a dog and never check up on them. You did it the right way, you're a good person.

Yes, it is hard, yes it is the right thing to do. I have one coming up also. You have all the hopes for them and when it doesn't work we are so sad. But we have to think of the dog. The wonderful homes we find make it so worth while. Labs are so adaptable. They just prance off with the new family as we turn and cry back to the house. It is the best for them. And the wonderful updates and pictures will let your heart know you did right. I am so sorry. Hugs. And no it never gets easier.

What "Newbie" doesn't understand is that it is precisely because we DON'T think of these dogs as livestock that we place them. I have placed several adult dogs for a variety of reasons, but they all had the underlying similarity that they were in the best interests, not necessarily of me, but of the dog I was placing. A dog deserves to be able to go places with the family, to be worked with and played with. Although all of my dogs are house dogs and spend time on the living room couch, I can't take all of them with me to shows, hunt tests, and obedience trials. The young ones that I won't be showing or training are better off where they can be an important family member and companion.

OP, you will feel better after you get some photos of him doing things with his new family and some glowing reports of how wonderful he is. In the mean time, I hope you can take comfort in the knowledge that you did the right thing for your friend and for the people who have him.

I have been told more than a million times to be a breeder I would have to do what you describe. But I decided long before breeding that I would not want to place dogs that did not work out. Instead I keep the amount of dogs that I can afford, train, enjoy, love and stop breeding until an opening arises due to old age, illness, etc. If my show/ breeding prospects work out- GREAT!!! I can continue breeding and showing. If not, well then I have beloved family members that I adore and can compete in other venues with. Being able to breed and show is a gift to me. I have never had the desire to breed litter after litter in search of the next BISS Champion.. I love the breed, and want to be a part of it, but breeding and showing is not all that make up our Labradors.
Having these precious Labs as part of my family is irreplacable.... Everyone needs to do what is comfortable for them.... I have 2 show prospects from other breeders who didn't turn out, they are still here. I now have 4 homebred littermates, 3 show/ breeding prospects at 18 mos and I am having the time of my life with them. There are sacrifices in every corner of life. You just need to decide what is best for YOU and no one else.

I respect and understand what you said Cindy.
However, just remember, these wonderful animals can make another great family a beloved companion just as they do yours.
There is nothing wrong with that and like you say, to each his own.

I absolutely understand what you are saying as well Sorry you didn't sign your name so I am unable to address you by name. But you seem to know mine.
I have several Labs from other breeders who have not worked out and become valued family members. In this case I am a pet family, so I can certainly understand the love and devotion pet families can have for the pups that are placed. I do not discount that.,
I also have show/ breeding Labs from quality breeders that I have been hugely blessed with that did turn out well so that I am able to breed and exhibit.
My point is that the decisions are all our own and we all should do what is in our comfort level and no one elses'. For those who place and feel the pain and can go forward, then so be it.. But some are not able to or do not choose to, and that is fine as well. You can be a breeder and do it on a small scale if that is your goal and desire.

Absolutely!

blah, blah, blah... whatever you need to tell yourself about being a "breeder". What a joke, you are in the buisness of breeding dogs and the ones that don't turn out you sell. Let's face it you are in a buisness. It's not a hobby. If you didn't make any money from it you wouldn't be doing it to just better the breed. I just wish that breeders would fess up to this.

I am sorry but there ARE hobby breeders who are truly in it for the love of the dogs and bettering the breed. There are people who just run even on their bank account between money earned from placing puppies in a pet home vs. money to pay for raising the prospect/showing/training/stud fees/vet bills/food...as you know, the list is endless. I suspect that many many of the folks out there operate this way.

Excuse me but first off, what are you doing reading a BREEDERS forum if you hate breeders so much?
Go elsewhere.
Secondly, pardon me but I consider my dogs a hobby.
Lets see....I have bred ONE litter since last summer, which turned out to be a single puppy via C section. I paid a stud fee, progesterone timing, shipping of semen all to the tune of about $3500 and I kept the puppy for MYSELF. Why? Because that is why I bred my bitch, to KEEP a show prospect puppy.
In the meantime, I have continued to show my other dogs consistantly on a regular basis. Heck Potomac alone cost me about $1,500 to travel with and show 5 dogs.
This winter I spent $6000 to send a dog out with a professional handler.
I haven't made a dime from my HOBBY in well over a year, yet I calculate I have spent approx $15,000.00 in the last 12 months and brought in ZERO (unless you want to count my teeny little Sweepstakes class checks LOL).
Business? Maybe. Profitable? NOT!!!!
It's a labor of love babe. At least when you are doing it with those intentions.
PS - I recently GAVE an older puppy away for free. The circumstances suited it.

Dear Unreal - Not that it's any of your business but I placed my boy at no charge to his new family.
Business, I don't think so.

I have spent nearly half of my life trying to produce the healthiest, kindest, hardest working Labradors I can. I've been in the black twice and burned out dozens of times. I've owned/produced 18 champions & as many performance titled dogs. I founded a rescue organziation, served on many breed and performance club boards, canine handicapped assistance boards, am a regular contributor to Canine Health Foundation and been a breeder laison to our county Animal Services to work on county ordinances that improve the life of all dogs and cats. I am not the exception.

If you want to make money breeding dogs buy two and sell ten. Breeders on this list don't do anything close to that.

What have YOU done to better the Labrador Retriever? Does blah, blah, blah count?