my 11 year old boy has an ear hematoma.
I had one in the other ear last year and the vet did the quilt stitch and it healed nicely, a bit of scar tissue.
I worry about putting him under at his age and would rather not, but also do not want to have him in any pain.

I might drain it with an 18 gauge needle and see who it goes, any tricks that would help it heal?

no ear infections this happens because my girls love to suck on his ears,

Leave it alone!!!! My old vet just about stood on his head, trying to persuade me to operate on my girls hematoma. A good friend & old time breeder gave me the courage to ignore his advice. The hematoma resolved on its own and my girl was fine and looked great too.

My 13 year old girl got a large ear hematoma last summer. For several reasons, surgery wasn't a good option, her spinal arthritis being one big factor. My vet suggested leaving it alone for a week or two (to let the vessels heal a little) and then they aspirated it with a fine needle. It took three times - but the third time it had clotted and there was virtually no fluid left. Her ear healed fine - a little thickening at the hematoma site. The vet told me that they have great success with aspiration as long the owner is willing to bring the dog in a few times. Just don't start until at least a week after the hematoma appears.

Many years ago one of my girls had hematomas in both ears. I don't like using Pred but that is what the vet prescribed and it cleared up both ears and she never had a problem again. (I honestly can't remember how long it took to clear up)

We had a dog that got bitten by a snake last summer, some might remember the subject. She had a huge hematoma on her ear. We used DMSO on it and it dissolved it in about 3-4 days. It is nasty to use but worked great.

I've heard of cordisone injections working. Ask you vet or Google it. I have a friend who's old boy did well with it.

Best remedy I've found is ice. Put ice in baggies and hold them on both sides of the ear (with a washcloth between if it's too uncomfortable). I did it 2 or more times a day for 20+ minutes each time. It takes several days, but the ears ended up perfectly flat and nice as they were before it started. I saved at least 4 ears this way.

I have also just let them be and usually ended up with some amount of cauliflower ear. Some not too bad, others pretty crumpled. I have one who had repeated hematomas from allergies high up where the flap meets her head and she finally got the thickening so that it makes cleaning that ear difficult. If the hematoma is more down in the flap that shouldn't happen.

I've tried the draining with some. Had the vet do it and I repeated it several times. It just kept re-filling and ended up no better than the ones left alone. That apparently has worked better for others.

My vet has treated two different dogs of mine with cortisone injections. He withdrew the hematoma, and refilled the void with cortisone, which was slowly absorbed. There is too much risk of damage to the ear flap to leave it alone, hoping it heals well when this method works beautifully.