school refusers

a resource for parents 

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Mental Wellbeing
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daughter not going to school

Our daughter is 17, and has been missing more & more school over the last 2 - 3 years. She's always done well academically, but it makes no difference to her - she now has absolutely no belief in her ability to handle anything about school. Since september started, she's only attended for about a week.
I'm realising today that it's very probable that she"ll never go back.
This has caused havoc & so much heartache in our family - we have 4 younger kiddies. Our emotions are so constantly used up by this that there's barely anything left - you're just trying to pretend them.
We moved city a year ago to change her school & give her the best chance - everyone's tried so hard to get on with it.
She spends most of the day in her room on computer/ I.Pod - I try very hard to get her out/ give her a job but she's back in the second it's finished.
She's a gentle lovely child, "tho at times it's not that obvious at the moment - she can get very hard & cold, and seems very governed by what she wants or doesn't want to do.
I'm broken hearted today at the realization that she is now probably never going back to school. Finding it very hard to function , & have no idea how to handle myself going forward with this - absolutely devasting.

Re: daughter not going to school

Vron, I wrote in another post about eventually taking myself off to a therapist do deal with my own anxieties, fears etc in the wake of two years of trying every which way to help my daughter. The strain on yourself and your family, as you say, is enormous. I can hear the despair in your post and can only urge you to go and see your GP and see if they can provide any counselling support for you. I hope this helps.

Re: daughter not going to school

I'm there with you, my daughter hasnt been to school since Year 7, she's now in Year 11, has 5 hours a week home tuition and is about to take her GCSE's but no one has realised that she hasnt had the basic schooling to get her through the exams but still they keep pushing!

My daughter will never go back to school and like you its a tough one to accept. I am trying to keep her options open for college though as its a much better environment for them to learn in. If she doesnt go there then we will give up and find her another road to travel.

All you and I need to do as parents, is look after the welfare of our children, ease their anxieties as best we can and keep ourselves strong too. Its tough isnt it? But truly there is more to life than school .... I realise that now.

Sue x