school refusers

a resource for parents 

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Mental Wellbeing
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Just reaching out for some support and advice. I'm a single mum to 3 children and a part time teacher. My eldest child a 13 year old boy started school refusing about sept time and since he has progressively got worse. He is being seen by camhs and the school have been supportive but the only way I can get him there is to take him myself and for it to be after school starts. This has left me with many difficulties but primarily it has taken a big impact on my own mental health and I have been off work since Christmas.
I am wondering how others cope? I can't afford not to work but at the same time my job is not able to be flexible in the mornings so I can't physically do my job, the worry about him impacts on my mental health too and I'm unable to concentrate as I'm worrying about him.
Any advice greatdully received..

Re: Work

Hi Annie

Sounds like it is really tough for you at the moment. I can really sympathise with how you must be feeling. I am also a single parent and trying to work and deal with a school refuser becomes very tricky. I ended up not bring able to work but did manage to get some projects that I could work from home. Family also help out. I did a lot of volunteer work!
I also went on anti depressants. I just couldn't handle the stress and emotion without them. They kept me afloat and able to face the day. So perhaps go and have a talk to your doctor and tell them how you are feeling and ask about medication to help you.

Are you possibly able to do some home tutoring (as you are a teacher) to help bring in some inome?
The main thing to remember is, you are not alone and things will change. It is really draining, so you need to keep doing some things just for you. See if there are any support groups in your area? Don't let others lay the blame, as they sometimes do, and don't be hard on yourself. Your son is struggling to know what and how he is feeling right now and cannot help the place he has found himself in. He needs you to embrace and accept that he has anxiety and tell him you will do all you can to help him feel better. See if you can do things with your son that have nothing to do with school and build up his self esteem and you will also feel a bit better about things, Its hard not to keep mentioning school, I know, but my son and I survived better when we did things like go for drives or watch a movie (even on TV).
Hang in there and come on here for support any time...
Take care,