school refusers

a resource for parents 

Please feel free to join our School Refuser message forum discussions. If you have experience of school refusing, you may find it appropriate to respond to previous posts.  Or you may be feeling isolated and wish to express your feelings.  Whatever, your contribtions are welocme. 

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Mental Wellbeing
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nearly 16

hi my kiddo is nearly 16 and has not been to school for 2 years due to anxiety. They have been under CAHMS who i feel havent been able to help. My child gets 5 hours of lessons through SEND. I am really concerned that my child has no life, If they are not at an appointment or a lesson, they are in bed. not always asleep but always in their room. They are frightened of everything and everyone outside of the family home. They dont like themselves and have no self esteem or confidence. They take Fluoxotine 40mgs every day which has helped with the horrible panic attacks, but still they have no life. Please help

Re: nearly 16

Welcome to the forum, Lynn

You and your child have clearly been going through a rough couple of years, and I suspect that it has actually been a lot longer than that?

I had not heard of SEND (Special educational needs and disability) previously. This implies that he/she has multiple issues that you both have to contend with. Are you getting the help you need with these additional difficulties?

School is not just about education, as you know. It is also about social interaction, and when a child removes themselves from that it becomes more difficult. If only we could get all school refusers together, they would not feel so isolated and realise that they are not alone. If only...

It took us time to realise that 'friends' made during computer gaming did enable social interaction. Chatrooms may be full of dangers, but they do have a function enabling communication with peers, rather than their parents shouting at them to come out of their rooms and join the family! We just have to manage what our child gets up to to ensure they are safe.

Does your child do his/her schoolwork through the internet? Have you explored forums on the subjects she/he does? I am just thinking of ways for her/him to open up contacts with the outside world.

My son used to come home from school and go online to play chess. After a couple of weeks he discovered that his opponent lived on the same street - and they did not like each other! But chess had opened up a new channel of communication. (Not sure how that is relevant, but it just popped into my mind. It's a sign of ageing, apparently)

Remember to look after yourself as well as your child. You ned your strength to help him/her.

Yours aye,