I came across this website sometime ago before it was really up and running and am happy to see that it is taking shape - it is a much needed resource for the growing number of parents who are dealing with the often mystifying and stressful issue of a child who is anxious, depressed and unable to attend school. I would really appreciate hearing from others who have long-term experience of this, either parents or,as important, professionals. There is so little information out there, and it is so hard for others who have not been in this situation to understand how complex and difficult it is to find the best way to help a child or teenager in this position.

Hi have been through hell and back trying to help my daughter who started school refusal at age 13, then anxiety and then panic attacks. This started two years ago.Referred to CAHMS who were useless. In the end she had some cognitive behaviour therapy privately and she is now happy and confident and looking forward to taking her GCSEs ! I think CBT is the only way. I had to pay for this but it was worth every penny as I have my daughter back.

CAHMS is not something we have experience of in Scotland, where I am based. Does anyone else have a comment about CAHMS in their area?

Could you please tell us a bit more about cognitive behaviour therapy? How did you get in touch with a therapist? Did your GP refer you? Or was it word of mouth?

Thank you for sharing this with us, Mina, and I am pleased that things are now working out for you. I am sure it was a tough road you travelled to get through this.

Simon

yes. We had two years that were very tough but it need not have been. CAHMS stands for Children and Adolescent mental health service. this is NHS service. I wouldnt bother with them. They have long waiting list and staffing issues so they try and get rid of you quickly as possible. Her condition left untreated due the long delays and lack of appropriate therapists. This made things worse as she progressed to panick attacks. It was soul destroying to see this and thought her future looked bleak.

I googled. Look for Britiash Association of Psychotherapist. You dont have to be referred by Gp if you are going privately. I paid 30 pounds per session but she will reduce fees on a sliding scale. I had to search hard to make sure the therapist was trained in child and adolescent therapy. There arnt many of them around. I found one 40 miles away but as I was prepared to do anything to help her I drove her there and back every week intially and then the sessions started to tail off. She has now finished.
She is 14 years old and a joy to be with. Her true personality and confidence shines through now.I very highly recommend , if you can afford it find your therapist and dont bother with the GP or NHS. They anly help when people are in crisis and that may be too late for our precious children.

I would really be interested in GBT how would i find out how to go about this?

CBT stands for Cognitive Behaviour Therapy. The therapist is trained to identify what are the negative belief systems that your teenager has and they help them have more positive self esteem and thinking pattern. My daughter's life has been transformed by this therapy. She looks forward to her future now and loves school.

Try this link BACP - The British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy and you will be able to find therapist in your area. Good luck
Mina

Thank you for this useful tip, Mina.

It looks like you have been through the process and are now back to 'normal'. How long did it take you and your daughter? We are at the 4 year point, and have just managed our first 5 day school week in that time.

Simon

Going through the NHS system wasted a lot of time and made things worse. But she started therapy in July last year so she had about 4 sessions of therapy when she returned to school in September. But she carried on with sessions which were being tailed off. She had a couple of relapses. I told the therapist and we back on sessions. No one can predicts how many sessions are needed. I suppose the longer the problem goes on the more sessions are needed. But the were paced with long gaps in between. After this easter I also started her on some tution in Maths and Science. This has really boosted her confidence and is not now afraid of GCSEs.

Sorry,Simon,to hear about your daughter. I dont think this will get better by itself. I would urge you to get some cognitive behaviour therapy for as soon as possible. This is the right time to start. They are heading towards the summer break now and some therapy whist they are not at school would help them to focus on themselves and their issues without having to worry about school attendance.

The exam season is over in Scotland, so we are across that hurdle. My daughter was given a separate room in which to take her exams (she only managed 3, but that was an achievement!). Being able to work on her own made it possible to go into the exams. Worth asking for...

Hi Mina
You've given me some encouragement and i would like to try CBT.

Simon
I too live in Scotland, we were referred to CAHMS and found it very helpfull, we worked with them for a year and we were taught stratigies to help cope, but after the year we were discharged as we had been taken as far as we could.
Can I ask how you managed to get your daughter to go to school and what 'help and support' you received.

Hi Mina

I spoke to the therapist who was working with my son, about CBT, she told me that was what she was doing with him, Most of the time I was in the room with them, should I give it another go?

caroline

Read your message, would be interested in chatting to you

Dorothy

I have to say I find this comment completely unfair. I'm sorry that CAMHS did not work for you, but as a school worker who refers to them and also the daughter of a very dedicated and overworked CAMHS worker I have to say that they are a brilliant service. It is not an easy job as you can imagine and they do a fantastic job. I look to my mother for advice with school problems and I have the upmost respect for the job they do. Please do not bad mouth such an essential service due to one bad personal experience.

She who knows everything tells me I am wrong on this count! CAHMS does indeed exist in Scotland. Happy to put that right.

CP, I think you will find comments in this Forum praising CAMHS, but your comment that the staff are 'overworked' might just be an issue? Maybe that is why not everyone has had a good experience? I think that people should be allowed to air their concerns, just as I am pleased to see supportive services praised.