Hi Everyone,

I just wanted to give you all some hope.
My daughter took three Science GCSE exams recently and she was given her results today. She achieved two B's and an A !! Apparently that makes her overall result a 'B'. (4 more GCSE's to go).
She has been suffering from School Phobia since Year 7 and has not even attended for half her schooling over the past 5 years. Since January '09 she has only had five hours a week home tuition.
So dont give up - our children are bright and will get there eventually.
They can achieve anything they want to with our support, even if that means not going down the 'normal' route.
Keep smiling everyone, there truly is light at the end of the tunnel.
Smiles!

Sue x

Hi Sue

First congratulations to your daughter, what a huge acheivement, and to you too. My last post was so positive but sadly we have had a really bad week, my son has not done anything this week and is back to not sleeping or eating, a huge blow, and I must confess, I found myself in tears on Monday, the first time in months, my son is hurting so obviously I am hurting too. I know that this is just a blip and he will get back from this, the support we have now is amazing, the youth leader from the volunteer group told me this morning that he will not give up on my son and has given my son the option of going for lunch with him today, just to support him, It helps so much to know that other people beleive in him also. Thanks again to every one on this site for your support, you are the only people who really know what we are going through.

take care x

Hi Dorothy,

Sorry to hear you've had a bad week. We seem to live a rollercoaster life don't we? One minute on a high if our children have managed an hour at school, the next we hit a low moment because they've found it all too much and can't go back in again.
I must admit M. and I have had some very dark moments over the years but, when we look back we realise how far we've come, as I'm sure we all do on this site.
Dorothy, you're right it is just a blip, the brighter moments will eventually outweigh the low ones.
Keep smiling everyone, we can do this, at least we have each other!

Sue x

Sue, That's fantastic. Congratulations to you both. I had a big smile on my face when reading your post and eyes full of tears reading Dorothy's.
But it will pass Dorothy, stay strong.
You are both so completely right. No body understands better than the courageous people on this site who have been able to share the pain of school refusing. I feel we are all becoming stronger, together, and are educating others that our children will come through.

Penny x

Thank you Sue and Penny,

Knowing that others care really does make a difference, When all this started 3 years ago I thought we were the only family going through this, knowing that there are other's who fully understand helps.

Dorothy x

hi all
first time here and i have to say you all sound very positive which is really nice
we did this 2 yrs ago after 6mths my son went to school full time no problems then sept we started again after christmas didnot go at all then we slowly got him back first english then maths then registration and then his gcse triple science he is 13 and started a new school
last wk he only went to 2 lessons all wk this wk he went for 1 yesterday and hope 1 today this is a slow process but i hope it will improve again
it is so nice to find people who understand rather than the old thing of oh a traunt and yes our kids are bright thats the problem they are bright with emotional issues that they dont understand
keep up the good work girls it helps

Hi Chris,

Yes, its a slow process, we all know what its like to take tiny steps, (major ones for our young ones), they make it to school a few days in a row, success! then along comes a holiday or half term and it all goes out the window!
I found this site amazing, (thank you Simon) as you say it is so lovely to know others understand instead of doubting your every word.
Over the weeks we've realised that 'acceptance of your situation' is the key to less stress under very difficult circumstances. Just pick yourself up and start again, it really doesnt matter, there's no real timescale to any of this.
I hope your son manages another day this week, but if he doesnt, there's always another time to try.
Keep smiling.

Sue x

Hi Chris, and welcome.

This site has saved my sanity. We can help you save yours too!

MY daughter has managed 5 whole weeks at school which i s the first time in 2 years. Today she has had a blip. We call it a 'duvet' day. She cannot explain how she feels or why she can't face the world today.
Tommorow is a new day - who knows what it will bring, but I'll worry about tommorow when it comes, safe in the knowledge that the day after will be another new day and we will hopefully take another baby step.

Stay strong everyone

Penny x

Hi Penny,

It made me smile when I read that your daughter had managed 5 weeks, thats amazing! Well done you must both be so pleased.
I like the name 'Duvet Days' .... my daughter and I used to call them 'Blip Days'. We found it easier to give them a name, it took the stress out of the situation, as she didnt have to explain anything as soon as she woke up in the morning, and I wouldnt have to keep questioning her, we both just referred to it as a 'Blip Day' and it became part of our lives.
Well tomorrow's another day for all of us and who knows what will happen but don't panic .... its just another day.

Smiles!

Sue x

hi sue and penny

i think what you both said has just given me some hope it is incredible that i can now think he will make it in the end
and i love the way you both describe the days they have problems with going i always say its one of his days but now i will have to think of something else to say because i always say it because thats when im angry at him and maybe if i find another way of saying it then i wont be angry if that makes any sense.

Hi Chris,

It makes perfect sense, we all feel so angry mainly because its out of our control but on reading through this site, you'll find that a few have mentioned how our anger/stress makes the situation worse for the child. We must remember that it isn't their fault.
Its sometimes the most difficult thing to do, but try to step back and accept your son as he is, he will get there Chris, it may not be the way other children do, or the way you wanted him to, but he will in his own way. Our job as parents, is to find a way for our children, even something as simple as finding a name for it can help, it did for us.
Be a team WITH your son, he needs you on his side, because he probably hasnt a clue as to why he feels the way he does and thats scary whatever their age.

Hang in there Chris.

Sue x