Hi Penny
Thank you for the welcome to the site. You said 2.5 days in school this week - thats excellent I wish I could say the same. My son hasn't been since end of January at all, and when he first started refusing 2.5 years ago he didn't go for 12 months. After the 12 month period he did go back - very very slowly and after about 2 months was back full time and from Easter to Summer last year didn't have a day off- he even went back the first day back after the summer hols - but with changes in classes etc we went back to square one. He now attends a PUPIL REFUERAL UNIT 2 x 1.5 hours per week which he really enjoys and has asked if they can increase his hours ( being taught in very small groups he feels safe )

I am sitting here worrying at the moment - he has gone to a friends birthday bbq ( a friend who has stood by him all the way through his problems ) and he really didn't want to go as there will be other boys from school there - even though they are all a nice bunch he started to panic and said he couldn't do it - but I wouldn't take no for an answer and took him. He will be back at 7.30pm and I hope he enjoys it as he can't run away from everything all the time.

Thank you all once again

Sarah T

Hi Sarah T,

Don't worry, you've done the right thing!

Your son WILL have a good time and he will be really proud of himself when he gets home and quite rightly so. The thought of these things is always worse than the actual experience. One of the 'professionals' we deal with has previously said to me, that if we can push a little and not let them shy away from personal/social things as opposed to school, it will help them in the long run. I'm sure he will be fine Sarah.

He's lucky to have a mum like you who cares so much, you sound as though you are doing a fab job.

Put your feet up and have a cuppa, you're a good mum with a lovely son!

Take care.

Sue x

Hi Sue

You are absolutely right - he's just come back and had a really good time. No one asked him why he wasn't at school and they have asked him to go out with them again !! He's now sitting watching the television chatting away and laughing - what a turn around !!

To anyone else it's a normal thing - but to us it's like winning the lottery.

Thank you once again your help is so valuable.

Sarah T XX

Hi Sarah T

your son sounds so much like mine he hasn't been into school this term, although he has been going in after school hours for one to one tuition altheough he hasn't been in at all for last 6 weeks. Its so good that your son has went out today it must have been so hard for him, but he has done, so well done. We encourage our children to go out and then sit and worry the whole time they are away, what are we like..............

I'm interested to find out more about the unit he goes to, we are in Scotland and i'm not sure if it's availavble here.

Take care
Dorothy x

Sarah T, glad to hear your son had a lovely time at the BBQ. That will help his confidence no end.
My daughter has recently started going out for a couple of hours on a Saturday with a new friend and they have begun to meet up with others from school. When she has had enough I go and pick her up. She usually says she's had a nice time but is glad to be home so that she can just put her jamas on, tie her hair back and snuggle on the sofa ( she is a 16 year old, very image conscious girl ) and says she feels safe.
When I have asked her before if people ask why she isn't at school regularly she just says I tell them I don't often feel well and they just accept that.

Penny x

Hi Dorothy

I am sure they have pupil referal units in Scotland as Simon seemed to know about them - they are for pupils who have been too ill to go to school but as they get better its a bit of a half way house for them - school environment but on a very small scale. In addition pupils who have been excluded attend - have a google and see if there is one near you. Obviously they don't do the range of GCSE's that school do but seem to concentrate on more practical lessons. So far so good for us.

We haven't had any luck with the PS3 so far - does your son do MSN or text ?

Keep in touch

Sarah xx

Sarah T

Thanks I'll look into it. Yes my son does text.

Take care
Dorothy x