My daughter hasnt been in since monday,and yesterday my husband was admitted to hospital.He has a long term chronic illness which I am sure contributes to my daughters issues.
She is just refusing to go to school,any excuse from no trainers, stomach ache to bad hair cut.I am finding this all really tough especially with my husbands continued bad health and two other daughters to look after.
Sarah

Hi Sarah,

Sorry to hear things aren't going so well. I imagine your husband's illness is unsettling for all the family and even moreso for your daughter, because if she's anything like mine, any change to routine is very difficult for her and can put her off track so easily.

I'm sure your daughter will get back on track soon, don't push her, it will happen, I promise.

Take care and be good to yourself.

Sue x

Hi Sarah

Sorry to hear how things are going for you, I think you should try and concentrate on yourself and your husband at the moment, as Sue says, this will affect your daughter, maybe you should forget about school until at least next week anyway, I don't think your daughter will go in with this going on and it will only make you more stressed trying to push her. Sometimes we all need to take a step back and re charge our batteries.

Take care
Dorothy x

Sarah, I feel for you. My husband too has a chronic condition but it is episodic in presentation so we do get a period of restspite (sp?).
I agree with Dorothy. Concentrate on you and your husband and take any pressure regarding schooling off yourself and your daughter. You cannot possibly juggle all these plates and keep them spinning. Inform the school of the home situation and cut yourself some slack.

Keep posting Sarah.

Penny x

thanks for your advice.I will definently keep posting.I am sure things will start looking up soon.

Hello all.

Just like to introduce myself and hope you don't mind me joining your forum. I too have a school refuser - 2.5 years now - and gone through like you all every emotion you can think of. I don't really have anything to report at the moment as my son is recieving 3 hours home tuition via the school each week and really enjoying it - but hope that when I do need support you will help me like you are helping each other.

Regards

Sarah T

Hi Sarah T,

Welcome! This site has been a life saver for me, its good to know people truly understand what I'm going through and how difficult it gets sometimes.
We've never met but I feel as if everyone in here is my friend and I'm sure you will too.
It's good to hear you son is doing well at the moment, hope it continues for you both but if things change, as we know they can do at anytime, we will all be here for you.

Take care.

Sue x

Sue

Thank you so much for your reply - I must admit a shed a few tears reading it because unless you have a "SR" you have no idea what it's like. I have been fortunate that my GP has been absolutely fantastic as his has had personal expereince, and CAMHS are more like friends - I can call my psycologist any time even out of hours, and both support me during our many multi agency meetings. Just one question I would like to ask is - has anyone had problems with siblings trying to jump on the band wagon and try and refuse to go to school as well ?

kindest regards

Sarah T

Hi Sarah T

Welcome to the site, hope you find it as helpfull and supportive as I have done. I have a 17 year old daughter who is in 6th year, she has only been doing 3 subjects this year so has had a lot of free periods, but I must admit, when she is too tired to go to school she will say, " why do I have to go to school and he doesn't" she does have a point, although she knows he can't help it. I really do think it is so tough for siblings, you may have read that we all feel that about our other children, my daughter told me today that I have changed in the last 3 years, a comment that broke my heart..................I try so hard to spend quality time with her and we do go out shopping etc, but we are so focused on the problems with our son....................I know she worries about him as well.....................

Sue, thanks for your comments, you brought a smile to my face..........

My main worry at the moment is the lack of social interaction, because my son is not at school he has lost contact with most of his friends. how do you all deal with that?

Take care everyone
Dorothy x

Hi Dorothy

It's just a shame we don't all live near each other and set up our own school !! My son has lost friends not being at school but several have stood by him, but they have to make arrangements to come to our house my son won't go to their homes. All we can do is our best. I do understand his feeings as I was the same at his age but just grew out of it.

My very best wishes to you all

Regards


Sarah T

Hi Dorothy,

My daughter has lost all of her friends from school, I think some of it was due to her not being there when arrangements were made. She now has just three friends from her primary school but she rarely sees them, her best friend has a very active social life and so doesnt always have time for my daughter, which breaks my heart.

She does chat to lots of people online though, they seem to be her link to the outside world. I've tried everything I can to keep any friendships going. My daughter has mentioned previously, that I seem to be more worried than she is, about her not going out with friends but there are times when she simply doesn't want to go out.

I don't say anything about it anymore, she doesn't want to be constantly reminded of how 'different' she is to others her age.

I'm just hoping that when/if she goes to college, she will make new friends there, who share her interests and she will also be older and hopefully more able to deal with things.

Good luck everyone, I'm sure they will all grow into happy, well adjusted adults with many many friends.

Take care.

Sue x