Well I couldn't get my son out of bed to go to the volunteer centre this morning, the youth leader came to the house to pick him up, he said that him and my son worked on a plan and he agreed to do some volunteering today, as we all know, he did mean it at the time but, unfortunately today he can't do it, his youth leader will come back later this morning to see if he can manage then. I feel my son is getting so much worse, he is not managing to do very much, even at home he is struggling to do his homework...........not sure what the answer is anymore, we have this meeting on Tuesday but if my son can't engage in anything then I'm not sure what the outcome will be

Take care
Dorothy x

Dorothy - why is it always one step forward and one step back.
Last week my son said he felt ill and couldn't go to the unit for his lesson. He is due to go back this afternoon - i was so stressed last night incase he refuses to go this afternoon I've physcally made myself ill over it, hence not at work. I just want to hide away today and cry it's really got to me now. He is due to go at 12.45 so can you all cross your fingers for me - no for us. This note sounds like self pity for me rather than my son but after 2.5 years of trying to be brave ijust can't stop crying.

I'll let you know later how it went.

Sarah xx

Sarah,

I am so sorry you feel so bad, I really do know how you feel. Sometimes you just feel like giving up and then you are riddled with guilt. All I can say is you will feel better - this is an emotional rollercoaster we are all on. Things are going well for my son after 6 months of hell but I am only too aware that there will probably be relapses but we are their mums and we will love them no matter what. We are allowed to cry and you will feel better after. I remember crying for 2 or 3 days everytime I was alone especially after I had to give up my job. You feel so isolated and I just couldn't talk to my family or friends. But then I found this forum and with help found the right therapist who helped both me and my son. Have you thought about finding a therapist for yourself? It helped me so much She also saw my husband which was great..It might helpxxx

Thank you for your support - he's gone and with a smile on his face so all that for nothing. I have seen a therapist and it helps my bad days are very few and far between these days but every now and then, well. We have been battling this for so long on and off sometimes i feel numb.

How stupid do i feel now !!

Sar xx

Hey Sarah,

We are allowed to have 'off' days too you know!

As mums we bottle everything up and put on a happy smiley calm appearance so as not to panic our youngsters ...... then occasionally it becomes to much ....... don't forget, cup of tea and a big bar of chocolate always helps!

Be good to yourselves too all you mums and dads on here!

Sue x

Sarah T

So glad to hear your son went in today, your right, we battle with this every day, putting on a smile, trying to be strong and holding it together for everyone, because what happens if we break down..............you have no need to feel stupid, but remember you are not alone in this, we all understand how you feel and are here for you anytime you need us.

Take care
Dorothy x

Dorothy
Apologies for not replying earlier, but wanted to make sure my son went in again today - just dropped him off and he seemed fine.

Thank you so much for your support especially as it wasn't a good day for you either.

Anyway back at work - they were very sweet asking if i'd recovered for the "bug" if only !!

How are things for you today ? any joy with the stables ?

Hope everyone is OK - we just need to keep smiling and hoping !!

Luv Sar xx

Hi Sarah

So glad to hear your boy went in again today, well done to him. No we are no further forward today, didn't manage in to after school tuition either, he's got a meeting with support teacher tomorrow, I think he will go to that, we also took him along to a private councillor/therapist on Monday and he seemed to do well with her, he asked to make another appointment with her for next week, so that must be good, I asked him what made her different from the other people he had seen and he said that she didn't talk about school..................another lesson learned.

Take care
Dorothy x

Hi Dorothy,

As I've said before, our children will get there but they will find their own way through this anxious time. If your son is happy with the therapist/counsellor thats a good thing, at least he's talking to someone and working it out for himself.

I must admit, life became a lot better in our house when I finally stopped continually talking about school. I didnt even realise I was doing it, until my daughter mentioned that everytime we spoke, I would bring the conversation back to school, making her withdraw ....... oops, I have been told!

Take care.

Sue x

Hi All

- Dorothy we saw about 4 therapists until we found "the one" now he seems to be my sons best mate - he calls my son quite often just for a chat - nothing to do with school or his anxieties he says he does it because he wants to build trust - so if he suggests trying a bit more then he knows he can count on his support. He also thinks my son would make an excellent therapist for SR when he's older !!

Someone made a comment at work today - i've only just come off the ceiling saying that my son was very lucky to go to the unit and if he decides he doesn't like it there anymore then he can just go back to school !! well how simple is that - i'll go and get his uniform ready for tomorrow !! I tried to explain but i could see that they just didn't get it.

Sue you are quite right mentioning school just isn't a good idea. I had the conversation in the car today as we have a review meeting next week to see if my son can stay at the unit or tries to go back to school - not my best move.

Anyway survived another day -

Take care

Sar xx

Thanks everyone for there support. it really does make a difference

Take care
Dorothy x

Hi

Our lives do go up and down - so we know how you feel Dorothy (and everyone else!). What is meant by 'The unit' when some of you refer to this. Is this part of the school or a separate educational unit where kids go if they have difficulties and not just school refusal?
AFter not going on Wed - my son did go on Thursday and now I've agreed to pick him up at midday today. Not sure why we do deals but I am sure you all understand - that sometimes we have to just to get them there for at least half a day! I just hope that this doesn't mean that he thinks this might happen frequently.
Hope everyone has a nice weekend - before our next topsy turvy week :)
Linda

Hi Linda,

The 'unit' my daughter goes to is actually for pupils who have been expelled from school. The Home tutors are based there and so a few children with medical 'problems' who go there, ie School Refuser, M.E. Anxious etc.

My daughter likes going (1 hours a week for Art) as she is in a room with a tutor and just a couple of other girls. She says it can get a bit frightening at times though as the expelled pupils are very noisey and swear a lot and really dont want to be there. The expelled pupils are even given a taxi to and from the unit daily, whereas I have to take and collect my daughter, the unit is 10 miles away from us. Thank goodness for grandparents!

Dont worry about making deals with your son, we all have to do it and if it makes him feel more secure and able to go into school then so be it. Don't worry what others think, you are doing what you have to do for your son and that's a good thing.

Enjoy your weekend everyone!

Sue x