Morning Simon and friends,

Gosh, interesting piece on the BBC link.

It sparked interest and dismay ..... we have a very real battle on our hands. If the doubters were to spend just one day with a SR they may just have a better insight and wouldnt be so quick to put us down! To be honest, I had never seen fear or anxiety quite like it until my daughter started to suffer, its impossible to explain it to others, but somehow we must try.

I noted this positive piece by this lady.
Ann Newstead, a spokesperson for the home tuition charity Education Otherwise, says school phobia is a "very real condition".

I've seen her name before on other things about School phobia, maybe she would be a good allie, perhaps we could get her on board?

Anyway, I shall leave this with you to ponder over.

Enjoy your weekend everyone!

Sue x

hi everyone,

One thing I think should really be emphasised when you are able to get someone like Ann Newstead onboard - is that this is an anxiety disorder. The word 'School phobia' conjures up all kids of images in the public and so does' School Refusal'. I find I get a better response when I tell teachers and others that my son has an anxiety disorder that includes not being able to go to school. Originally i used to say he had 'School Refusal' which was usually met with blank looks or blame.
It is a phobia perhaps and it is a refusal - made so by the fact that school is so important and is every day of the week.Wehave all noticed that there are other anxiety issues with your sons/daughters - but they might not be quite as obvious as its not every day - but for the children themselves - I am sure they are all hurdles - but the school one is the worst. I am not sure how others feel - but just wonder if the terminology needs clarification - especially going by the responses on the online mail page.
Linda

Just a point to add. I don't mean that we in any way water down what School Refusal is - the general public and education sector (and support professionals) need to be educated on how real and devastating it is for the child and us.
But I wondered if starting at the 'anxiety disorder' point - you might get more people on board. The word 'School Phobia' seems to have had perhaps more negative reaction than had it been referred to as 'School Refusal' (we don't refer to it as School Phobia here - and I notice that non of you do - so where has this term come from?). There is a lot in just a word and how others perceive it. Just a thought anyway -
Linda

I absolutely agree - i get a completely different reaction from people when I talk about my son's anxiety disorder stopping him going to school to 'he is a school refuser' or he has 'school phobia'. Even when you explain that school refusal is a symptom of an anxiety disorder, they just don't get it. So, i now explain about his anxiety and don't mention refuser or phobia and people seem to be more understanding and eager to help....

sophy

I quite agree, I really dislike the names School Phobia and School Refuser.

I've used both along the way and found I got a better response from people when I said School Phobia, as people understood how frightening a phobia can be, although they didnt quite understand how anyone can be frightened that much of school.
When I've used School Refuser, people have given the look as if to say, 'ah yes so she doesn't want to go and you let her off, she is obviously spoilt and she must be a truant'.
If I said it was a mental health problem they just thought she was weird!

Now I just say that she had problems at school and is tutored at home.
I don't feel I have to justify it to anyone anymore.

I really would like to have a different name for this anxiety problem but heaven knows what that could be but I do agree that people are more understanding when I have mentioned Anxiety Disorder.

No name could do justice to the fear our children have of attending school, when others find it so easy.

Sue x

I think Linda put it well when she said "It is a phobia perhaps and it is a refusal - made so by the fact that school is so important and is every day of the week." A psychologist recently explained to me that School refusal is an anxiety disorder that pinpoints itself to school - probably because it is a stressful setting and also, as Linda said, it is every day. I don't notice my son being anxious at other times, but he probably is. School refusal definitely has a phobic aspect to it but I guess we are all just better off calling it an "anxiety disorder that relates to school." People can understand that since there is so much general anxiety out there in the world.