school refusers
a resource for parents
Hi everyone
Hurray! its the start of the school holidays in Scotland, no more school talk for the next 7 weeks, bliss, we've had a bit of a backward step lately, I'll fill you in when school starts back, I want to forget about school and just enjoy my happy go lucky boy. He is out playing football already with his friend, as he should!
I will keep looking on site and keep up to date with everyone, hope the last few weeks go ok for you all.
Good luck to those moving on to college, I'll be thinking about you.
enjoy the hols and thanks again for all the support, couldn't have got through it with out you all.
Take care
Dorothy x
My daughter's last day of school is actually tomorrow, when we have prize giving.
I saw her at the Leavers' Concert last night. I happier child is hard to imagine! (OK, all the girls were in tears, but that is par for the course.)
Various members of staff commented on how she has developed during the year, and it really does bring hope for everyone here that (as I have said before) there is light at the end of this tunnel.
I recall really dark, dark days with no thought that we would get to where we are now. Maybe we are a year late, maybe we have not achieved all that we would like to achieve (and exam results are still to come), but we got through it.
My thanks to everyone who has there to support us on a our long and winding road (I also went to a Paul McCartney concert last week!) You helped us get through this, and I am very grateful. I love you all!
Simon
PS It was busy week - I also had a meeting with a deputy head who deals with school refusers, and I will write that up in the Blog.
Hi,
We have just two weeks holiday over here - but the relief is enormous! It is nice to hear about light at the end of the tunnel again, Simon - I think we need to keep being reminded of that.
We had a bad week actually - parent/teacher interviews - started the CB which didn't go as I had planned - but we can look forward to a new start next term. My son says he thinks he can start a fresh next term - we all know this can back fire but he needs to get back some of that energy that we all loose as we battle on. I am quite tired of everyone telling me and my son 'you have to get to school.' WE KNOW!!!! I want to hear someone say 'you are here at this point - ..lets start getting some positive things happening in both your lives!!" Lets look at the good things.....lets talk about soccer.....(the CB therapist unfortunately dismissed his obsession with soccer and said 'what about when all your mates (which ones?) are going off to College and University - and all you can talk about is soccer." I was very taken aback. He is not the slightest bit interested in what happens in 8 years time!! My son says he does not want to go back. I am going to get the name of another CB therapist as I do believe this works - we just hit on the wrong person. I got the impression she thought that his soccer interest (it is a bit of an obsession at the moment with the World Cup) was keeping him from school. But its the only thing keeping a smile on his face at the moment and does it matter?!. Oh well - we all keep on trying to find help - and that is the most important thing for our kids.
All the best for your holidays - and for lots of new starts.
Linda
Oh how I long for the holidays !! Well where are we. My son is still at the unit and they have offered him an extra 2 days this week to work with an artist as he is very good at art, just hoping he will grab the opportunity but again i have my doubts as the look on his face when they asked him answered a thouand questions, anyone though they had asked him to jump off a cliff !! We now have the dreaded date for the multi-agency meeting - its this Thursday and to say im getting worked up about it is the understatement of the year - Im absolutely terrified, but why I dont know we've had them before !! Can you all come with me, Linda Dorothy and Simon please jump on a plane and Sue you can drive !!
LOL I feel a failue at the moment, my youngest sons school have just phoned to say they had a complaint about him walking home from school last Thursday - to say i was gob smacked was well - I picked him up !!!! You know it only takes one thing like that to turn them into a refuser !!
Anyway sorry for the rant as Sue would say, but the roller coaster ride has just begun !!
Take care all
Sar nxx
Sarah, I cannot be with you physically, but I will be thinking of you.
But you know your worries are irrational! You know this is actually a good thing - getting people together trying to find a solution for your child is just what you want and need. It is, really!
Of course it will be tough, but you only need one to see your point of view, and help win the others over. Because that is what they are gathering for - to work with you to help your son. Focus on the one person who looks sympathetic, ignore the one who looks sceptical (there may not be one!). Make notes, have your file to hand, put back to them what they have said before - 'Why do YOU think YOUR suggestion did not work last time?' Put them on the spot - 'Does that work with every child?'
Go into the meeting with a positive attitude - 'It is sooo good of you all to give up so much time for my son, I really appreciate you all coming together'. Get there early, looking keen. Greet each one, make a note of their names (maybe ask for cards). If introductions are not done, ask for them - don't accept 'I think we all know each other' if you are unsure of any of them. Ask for a reminder. Ask at the beginning who will be taking the minutes and when you can expect them. (If the answer is 'We just make our own notes', then ask them to share the notes, and provide your email address.
The better prepared you are, the better the meeting will go. But you probably won't need all that - it will probably go fine.
I am away for a few days - no phone, no internet, but I will catch up with you on my return.
Simon
Hi Sarah
You will not be at the meeting alone, we will be with you .............keep that in your mind as you go in, try to get your point across, the unit your son goes to has helped him so much, they have to understand that, you will find the strength, as you know, if you don't fight for your son, then who will? that's what will get you through the meeting...............
Take care
Dorothy x
Thanks guys for your replies it is so appreciated. Unfortunaltey the GP or CAMHS can note make the meeting so my hope that someone from the unit can support me, I do feel as though im in a sinking shift !!
Anyway I am going to be strong and fight and be more positive than i have before - so at 12.30 Thursday please think about us.
Sarahxx
Hey Sarah,
You can do this! Look how far you've come already.
You know what to do ....... Just remember what a brilliant mum you are, know in your mind what you want from this meeting and go for it in a calm positive manner.
We are with you all the way!
Sue x
