Hi everyone

discussed this at last meeting, but it's taken me a while to get my head round it, psychologist wants to refer my son back to CAMHS, she thinks there's more to this problem......................here we go again

Take care
Dorothy x

hi Dorothy,

Were you able to ask her what benefit to your son this would have? Otherwise - it sounds like you have been down so many roads already.
Linda

Dorothy

As you know I am a huge fan of CAMHS, and I am fortunate enough that our psycologist is an ex teacher as well so understands the system.

He told me that SR is the hardest condition they have to deal with because they never really get to the bottom of why children refuse unless they have been bullied etc.

Is your son ok with going to see them ?

Good luck

Sarah xx

I've not told him yet Sarah, don't want to spoil his holidays............

The way I see it is that it is most likely an 'anxiety' issue and school becomes SR as it is every day and not only places huge expectations on the child but also is quite an unpredictable place in relation to classroom as well as peers. So tackling it from an anxiety perspective is probably a wise thing if that is what CAMHS might come up with - as it will help your son in the long run. If we just keep tackling it from the school refusing end (which I was doing up until this year) then we may in fact end up going round in circles more as the kids themselves often can't pin point something - and things such as bullying may only manifest themselves if the child is depressed/vulnerable - which makes it a vicious circle.
Because my son is much younger when SR appeared - I have also been able to notice signs out side of the school scene as well. Some of you in an earlier post mentioned these as having happened in passing to some degree - and then suddenly SR seemed to kick in. But perhaps the anxiety was always there? Its not always noticeable and can be subtle and become a way of life. Some events that can be avoided without much consequence happen outside school - or by not joining in things then they never have to not turn up - by not committing themselves to anything - they never have to let anyone down. Its all subtle - but perhaps its there? For me I have noticed it turns up in social events (beforehand) - as I have mentioned - going back to football training after missing due to illness - going round to friends places or having them over (that is not even happening this year) and generally preferring to stay home rather than go out if the place is unknown/new.
So perhaps CAMHS can help your son as they will be able to take into account the full nature of the anxiety and not just focus on the SR side?
Another aspect that someone asked me recently was whether kids who suffer from SR are 'gifted'.
Its a road I don't particularly want to explore at this stage - but perhaps your son falls into this category? And then that brings one back to CB therapy - and how it might help all kids with SR deal with all things they find difficult to face in their lives? Hopefully CAMHS will have come across many different cases to know what other areas have yet to be explored - so I guess it could well be a good thing. Its never too late to find out that someone knows something that will be more helpful than the last person consulted :)
Good luck
Linda
PS Sorry for such a long post!

Linda

thanks for reply I really do appreciate it. Looking back there has been lots of signs that I've failed to pick up on, only because I wasn't looking for anything, there was even problems at playgroup, but I just put that down to being young, there were a few issue's at primary, but then again I didn't think it was a big deal, even with after school clubs, he went for a few weeks then stopped, all signs that I can read now..........our psycologist is going to send me a draft of the referral before she sends it to CAMHS to make sure I agree with it, or if there is anything I want to add, which is good. My son is now going into 4th year and should be sitting his standard grades.............I do feel that we are going round in circles and getting no where, maybe revisiting CAMHS is the way to go.

Sarah, you must be so proud of your son, he is a star, spoil him this weekend.

Take care
Dorothy x

Good luck Dorothy - some roads the right ones and others are not - but unless we try them - we just don't know. And all of us on here - yourself included- just keep on trying.
And Sarah - what do they expect - your son to suddenly be the most confident kid in the school!? I am surprised they even made a comment - but perhaps it means they are being more observant.
I was glad when my son's teacher said she had noticed how uptight my son can get when she sets tasks. She had always up till then said he was fine once he got to school but when I mentioned GAD (Generalised Anxiety Disorder) she became more observant.A s we all know- the effort at school by our kids is enormous and they are not ok generally once they get there. Getting there is the biggest hurdle- but being there is full on hard work
Thanks to everyone on here for giving me the courage and confidence to start changing how I speak about SR. Before I discovered this forum - despite 5 years of this, I was floundering in what SR was - I felt I was going no where and had slumped into a depression. So I thank everyone of you who is a regular on here for sharing your stories and support and sympathy. I do still flounder....but I know I am not alone.
ALl the best to everyone. School starts for us after the holidays again on Monday. Fingers crossed:)
Linda

HI there,

Don't let anyone take away all the positive achievements, there is a misunderstanding i think that when a child returns to school that they are "cured". It is such an achievement when they find the courage to step through the door but it can take only one little thing for them to regress. I never really knew about SR until my son has refused all of this school year (yr7). But looking back on his primary years there were definate signs of anxiety showing. He took a long time to settle into pre-school and reception, once he formed trusty relationships with his teachers he was fine with going. There were also occasions where if situations happened beyond his control then there were the "tummy aches" scenarios and tantrums.

CAMHS are now getting involved with our situation, they are going to have to visit him at the learning center as we know that any new buildings will result him not going through the door. Once they have done an initial assessment they feel what is best for him is to undergo CBT. Its the way forward i think but only time will tell.

kirsty xxxx