My son is 12 and we have had major problems with school attendance since January. He was fine till Christmas but since then he has got gradually worse. Working with the school we managed to get him working in the inclusion unit and then gradually back into some lessons. We would have a good run of 2/3 weeks and then bang back to square one. SInce the new school year started he has attended 2 whole days in normal classes and seemed fine but he hasn't been back since and has now missed 8 complete days in a row. He panics, cries, refuses to get up and dressed and is genuinely anxious. He refused point blank to do PE even though he is a competent sports person so the school agreed to remove it from his timetable for the time being. We just don't know what to do next as nothing seems to be working. We have an appointment with a educational psycologist but at school so probably wont be able to get him there. I am so worried it is untrue and don't know what will happen next. Can the school kick him out? Does anyone have any advice? Thank You

Sue, The state is obliged to provide education for your child. Normally this is in school, but there can be exceptions. You will have read of others referring to 'Units', which will accept children for a short period of time. School can also offer home tuition, or tuition at the tutors home (though this is not a popular solution from a child protection point of view). However, and it is a big however, there are budget constraints in this option.

You can also choose to home educate your child. If there is a Red Balloon school (see the blog) near you, they may be able to help.

I hope these thoughts help?

Yours,

Simon

Hi Sue,

The psychologist will help you and hopefully give you advice. Don't worry if your son can't make it into school for the meeting, it will show them how bad the problem is and that he really finds it difficult actually getting into the school building.
Don't put even more stress on your son by making him go to school,he really can't do it, just let him know you believe him, he needs to know you are on his side.
You will get through this I promise. We are here for you. Lets us know how the meeting goes.
Take care.

Sue x

Hi Sue and welcome.

Firstly Simon and Sue had hit the nail on the head, they can't just kick him out ( they want the money !!) Its so strange, my son was fine until Chistmas year 7 then it all started - where it came from is still puzzles me, but I understand that is a commn time for SR. As Sue said you will get through this I promise one way or another, but we all understand how you feel and ask why is this happening.

To me my children would go to school, get a good education, go to Uni and then into a profession, now I am just grateful he has started to go to school, forget the qualifications !!

Our children are different, but not in a bad way, they just don't fit in with school life. They will all find their way although in my sons case his education has suffered and he will be a couple of years behind when it comes to GCSE's but that doesn't matter. They are all good children and not getting into trouble so that is something to be grateful for.

Keep us posted about meetings etc as we may be able to help in some way.

Don't forget we are here to support you, the parents on this site are like my best friends and always pick me up when i'm down.

Take care

Sarah xx

Thanks everyone. It really does help to know you are not alone. The school have made us feel as if it so unusual when it obvioulsy isn't!!
Meeting with Ed Psycologist today went really well. My son actually got up and dressed ( not in uniform but who cares) and went without any arguement. So proud of him and made sure he knew it :)
She was really nice and understood exactly how we felt and when my son met her he actually ended up talking to her which was a major break through. He is planning on doing a half day tomorrow in the inclusion unit so fingers crossed. He is actually playing his drums as I type which is a good sign as he feels happier.
They are now putting a plan into place to help which we havent really had before.
One step at a time but a better day today.

Sue

What a major step, well done to you both. Small steps in inclusion to start with works wonders, that way we actually got my son back full time in year 8 and didn't have a day off for 6 months. ( unfortunatley due to a hick up at start of year 9 things went backwards ) My GP wrote a huge report on slow intergration for SR but unfortuantely at the time school weren't interested and only tried it a long way down the line - i can't help but think if it was tied at the begining we may have nipped it in the bud. We are all here for you and understand, believe you me!!

Take care.

Sarah xx