My daughter has only one real friend and we're having a few problems with her parents who have said that they don't want their daughter to see Marie until she has gone back to school. They live about 20 miles away now so they're not at the same schools anyway.

Obviously I am very unhapppy about this as I don't think it is their place to put extra pressure on my daughter and just shows that they don't understand about her condition. I phoned her mother this week to try and explain and tell them that Marie has been diagnosed with anxiety and that she is seeing a CAMHS doctor every 2 weeks. I mentioned a tutor and all her mother could ask is how much is that going to cost ?
I managed to get her to agree to let them see each other every month or so but now their daughter has told mine it's only in the holidays !!!

As if her not letting her daughter see mine will magically get her back to school. Why can't they try and understand ? My daughter has no friends whereas their's has plenty. But I know if I get angry with them they will cut off all contact between them.

We have taken their daughter on holiday with us (as Marie wouldn't go without her) so they say that Marie is too dependent on her.

Has anyone else had similar problems ?

Hi there

I just wondered if there was a forum for the kids to talk to each other on their feelings, there is no-one better out there to understand more than the sufferers themselves???

Kirsty xx

Hi, Kirsty.

Please see this discussion: http://schoolrefuser.org.uk/forum.html#bn-forum-1-1-1014515854/6140/852711/show

Simon

Hi Daz
It made me so mad to read your thread - as if we haven't got enough on our plates to deal with. I haven't had any problems with friends over my son refusing, but i did encounter it a few years ago when i seperated from my husband and one so called friend said she didn't want her son playing with a child from a single parent family !! ( bet me hasn't got many friends lol ) Tell your daughter she is better than them, she will make new friends true ones.

Hope it all works out for you all.

Sar x

Thanks for link, do you know that sort of thing never crossed my mind. Think i will pull my head out of the sand now!!!

Kirsty xx

Hi Dazza,

Who needs friends like that!? You and your daughter certainly don't, they bring more stress than friendship with them.

Leave things for a while and see what happens, just get on with supporting your daughter, you both deserve better.

Take care.

Sue x

Hi There
Although my daughter never encountered such blatent discrimination she was very attached to one friend who it seemed her whole world revolved around and would not do anything without, but the parents of this friend thought that I was a weak parent
Part of the deal for my daughter to have a home tutor was to show that she would start to get involved and socialise as she had no friends and that she had no social life.
The social worker organised for her to go on a Sunday to a local group that specialise in drama, film and dance.
It is run by young people for young people and as she is interested in film and makes her own she agreed.
One the first day it was like going to school and she was not going to go. With a lot of effort I got her to the front door at which point she was about to run when one of the workers came out and invited her in. It was out of sheer embaressment that she went in. I told her that I would be back in 15 mins If she didnt like it it was ok. When I went back she was having such a good time. She never allowed me to go in or have any involvement but it worked. This was a year ago. She made so many friends and gave her so much confidence. Now she is having home tuition full time and doing so well. She is taking 7 GCSE'S and I have a house full of kids every weekend.
She has so much more confidence and is very outgoing but it is on her terms. She still find it difficult to go to them. One step at a time.If the kids have a hobby or something that they are interested in getting them involved with a club is a big help.
It is a big step forward and helps them to develop friends at their own pace.
Also I found that the more pressure to be so called normal the worse it is. So gently does it. All these so called experts are just threatening figures to these kids.
Support and understanding works much better.