I live in Renfrewshire Scotland . I would particularly like to hear from parents in my locality who have dealt with problems of their teenagers refusing to attend school. She is presently in 4th year at local high school. She has never enjoyed school . I have had trouble getting her up in the mornings for past 2 years, lots of shouting and tantrums. ( I think she may have a sleep disorder as well as she would stay awake all night if I let her). Strangely she is always in a good mood when she comes home. She is pleasant and good fun when school is not an issue , ie weekends , holidays. She has been getting worse in recent months and has refused to get out of her bed on school mornings for the past 2 weeks now, sometimes staing in bed throughout the school day . She has a sister aged 17 ,a boyfriend aged 19, and one very close girlfriend but other than that she is becoming a bit isolated. I am thinking of taking her for some type of assessment as I think I could deal with her a lot better if she was suffering from a recognised condition rather than sheer laziness, any thoughts

James,

I live in central Scotland.

There is a thread on early signs of school refusal which you might find helpful. However, I note that your daughter has been having problems for a couple of years now?

Simon

James,
The tantrums in a morning sound very familiar. It would help to put it in perspective as Simon has mentioned and see if any of the early signs as mentioned on this Forum seem to point to your daughter. I would get an assessment for your daughter. My doctor referred my son to a paediatrician. It is important to rule out any medical condition first - and the out of kilter sleep patterns are something that a doctor should be able to follow up on to check there are no 'Circadian' sleep problems. Otherwise I would imagine you might also benefit from reading past postings on here too about CAMHS through the school and getting an assessment and their support. Is the school supportive? Good luck - and feel free to talk to us here - we all know what you are going through!
Linda

Hi James

My son has been a refuser for 3 years, although we have had some success recently in getting him back to school ( but not today - another story ) My son started refusing first year of high school, but looking back i did have problems for about 12 months before at junior school but always managed to get him there. I really should have seen the signs then, but I had never heard of SR so it didn't register. I can only echo what Simon has said and have a look back through our threads as this will certainly help you start to understand.

I wonder how many refusers there are out there ?

Stay in touch, you will find the support from this site wonderful, Simon saved my family, he will never know how much he has helped by setting up the site.
Sarah x

James, My daughter had exactly the same problems from age 13. It has taken until now for her to be diagnosed with ME with co-morbid depression.

I had always said that school was not the problem 'per se' but found it very hard to get GP's to listen regarding the fatigue. The problem is that as they are teenagers, alot of their symptoms seem to be put down to 'teenagerism'.

I know my daughters case is different to those of others on the site but the not going to school bit still affects us all the same.

By the way, the lovely supportive people I have 'met' on this site will be pleased to know that in a recent GCSE english mock exam she got an' A'.
Not bad for a girl who hasnt been to school regularly for the last 3 years.
So take heart, James, and good luck. xx

Penny,

Wonderful news about the A grade! I am so pleased for you both. And it is good to hear from you again.

Simon

James

I live fairly near you and would be happy to talk to you, my son has been a school refuser since first year, he is now in 4th year and still does not attend school, I agree with the other comments, have a read through the threads, you will find enormous support here.

Take care
Dorothy x

Penny,

Fab news about your daughter and the A grade, I'm so pleased for you both.

James,

I agree with everyone on here. The tantrums are much stronger than normal 'not wanting to go to school' whines. They are a real fear. We've all been there so know what you and your daughter are going through. My daughter didn't go to school for almost 5 years and only managed to get a little home tuition in Year 11 but with that she managed to get enough GCSE's to get her into college and she is very very happy now. So don't give up, stay strong, its a long road you have to travel but everyone here is very supportive and there's always someone with relevant advice.
Visit your GP and ask for a referral to CAMHS or a similar organisation who may be able to give you a diagnosis, once you have a diagnosis people will listen a little more but it will be tough and you will need to be firm. Always let your daughter know you are on her side, she is probably as scared and confused about her feelings as you are. Her anxiety levels are very high and she will need to know you believe her.
Just remember to write down all conversations you have with professionals and any dates and outcomes of meetings etc, mine all went in a file and the file came everywhere with me.
Take care James, our children are very bright, they just need the right conditions to learn in.

Sue x