school refusers
a resource for parents
We had another meeting at the school with my 12 year old soon present to be told that they were starting a 6 week plan. They have put 3 weeks into place initially with a meeting in 3 weeks to assess his progress. They are expecting him to attend mornings only next week but no lessons, mornings the following week with 3 lessons of his choice and also to stay for lunch break and for the 3rd week, to attend 3 full days with 2 lessons. As last week we couldnt get him there at all i feel this is a bit ambitious.
If he does not adhere to this plan we have been told it then goes to PACE, Police and Criminal Evidence, and that we will not be arrested but be under caution and that this may lead to a summons to court.
We have had an educational psycologist on board but it looks like thats going to stop due to school budget. We are awaiting an appointment from CAMHS as when he was seen by them in September they said he wasnt a CAMHS candidate but the school and psycologist have re-referred him.
Now this process has been started it cant be stopped and if he doesnt do as they ask and we dont get a CAMHS diagnoses in time it sounds like we will be going to court.
Has anyone else been through this and have any advice?
We have kept diaries and minutes of meeting and have copies of reports from CAMHS and the education psycologist who says he has an anxiety condition but this isnt accepted as a medical diagnoses. Should we be contacting a solicitor?
Sue, I am so upset that this is happening to you and your son. Neither of you need this added hassle.
The only advice I can suggest is to go back to your GP and ask for a referral to a paediatrician. This was the only way we could get anyone to listen to us and to my daughter.
Try to stay strong
Thinking of you,
Penny x
Oh, dear, this all sounds very scary.
And I think it is meant to be. But the police will be presumably looking for evidence - - - of what?
My first thought is that no crime has been committed, has it?
Scots Law is so different in respect of children, it is difficult for me to understand the process. Thinking about a solicitor, I wonder if the Citizen's Advice Bureau can help? And I think you should also try ParentLine. And then maybe a solicitor.
As to the 6 week plan, does your son have to go in a normal time, or can he slip in late and out early? That might be easier for him?
This is a difficult time for you, but we are with you,
Simon
Sue
This was mentioned to us way back but never taken any further, my husbands response to it was 'bring it on' you have our support.
Take care
Dorothy x
Sue,
maybe worth looking at this website
www.childrenslegalcentre.com
they maybe able to point you in the right direction with getting the right help. Also I think I mentioned before the parent partnership - they are helping a friend of mine who had a school refuser daughter and they are helping her write letters etc and access the help she is entitled to.....
Hi Sue,
You could remind them of the recent case in the UK - was it last year? Where the parents of an SR child were taken to court and the court ruled in favour of the parents and child. There were articles in your papers - and still some on-line probably. This type of thing is unfortunately out of the radar for most - but whoever told you that the next step is the police - should be told of this case I just mentioned - so bringing it to their attention might help?
I'm just back on the roller coaster ride again myself this week - two days so far and he is in tears this morning so I don't hold out much hope. It just comes on so suddenly - he was fine last week. Only difference i can see is his normal class teacher has taken leave for the week so they have a 'fill in' teacher. Last night he said he would go today for sure....we have all heard that before. It really helps to know I am not alone any more and can come to this forum when things really feel on top of me. I wish everyone else all the best and especially you, Sue......you really could do without all this extra trauma - it is bad enough as it is - and I wish others would realise this and help you! Let us know how you are going -
Linda
Sue - The UK case which was thrown out of court can be found at the site below.
The article begins like this...
A judge has criticised education chiefs for pursuing a prosecution against a couple who allowed their son to skip classes because he had a 'school phobia'.
The 16-year- old's condition was confirmed by his GP and a psychologist, who said attending lessons was 'highly anxiety-provoking' for him.
But his parents were hauled before a magistrates' court where they faced a three-month jail term and £2,500 fine.
The court acquitted them and a special educational needs and disability tribunal later ruled that the case amounted to discrimination against the boy.
Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1285219/Boy-school-phobia-wins-apology-education-chiefs-tried-prosecute-parents.html#ixzz15U4lGogL
www.dailymail.co.uk/.../Boy-school-phobia-wins-apology-education-chiefs- tried-prosecute-parents.html
Thank you for that Linda, everyone i tell say how daft it sounds especially as we have a Ed Psyc saying how high his anxiety is. Hopefully we wont get as far as the court! Thanks everyone for your support in this. My son has managed 3 mornings so far this week which is in line with the schools demands. He isnt finding it easy and panics as we approach the school road but he is going in later at 9 and working in the inclusion unit and leave at 12.10 with the main school so he is doing really well. So proud of him as I know he is trying so hard for me and his dad as he doesnt understand why the school are threatening us with police and court.
Well done, him!
I hope he feels good for what he has achieved?
Sue - Draft it's almost laughable !! He is a child with anxieties for goodness sake. We are in a similar position as at Ed Welfare have asked CAMHS for a report on my son to see if his anxieties affect his ability to attend school - only 3 years on !! If we dont get the diagnosis then they say they will have to start the legal process - woteva !! My saving grace is that my son has been attending school - part time ( off sick at the mo ) which i think will affect him going back.
In Dorothys husbands words " bring it on"
Sorry to sound harsh - fed up with it all.
Sarah xx
Know exactly how you feel....bring it on.
What crime has been committed??? My son managed every morning last week working in the youth club and yesteday stayed for luch time and mixed with his friends. Today, because school want him back in the classroom for one lesson we are back to square one....crying, angry and refusing to go. He has an appointment in two weeks with a group called Vibes which is child mental health support group and i am also taking him to see a hypnotherapist on Thursday to see if that helps.
Not sure where we stand with the school now as he hasnt stuck to their plan. They dont live in the real world, threats and contracts wont make anxiety disappear!!!
Hi Sue
This is exactly what happened to my son - he was going in part time - did start to increase hours slightly then mentioned the "classroom" My son said last night he wasn't sure how much more he can take, this broke my heart. Ed welfare said that if he doesn't start going then they will have to start legals against me. This half scares the life out of me, and half makes me so angry that I just want to fight it.
I think i would look a bad mother if i forced my son into something that he was so scared of - hey we just can't win.
It's such a shame we don't all live near each other.
Sarah xx
