Hi

Well, my son has completely broken down and not going into school at the moment which is a real shame as he was doing so well. CAMHS have been in constant contact and are trying to support us, but I don't feel we are getting the same commitment from school as they say he has nothing to be frightened of there and if he doesn't start going in then he will be behind with his education and may not be entered for his GCSE's. To be perfectly honest I really don't care about his exams at the moment I just need to get my son sorted out mentally - he can always study when he is better. Not really sure where we go from here but I have been in contact with anxiety action and hopefully they will be able to help me with CBT.

Lots of tears yesterday, but feel stronger today, apart from being tired as my son was up crying til the early hours.

Why oh why can't people understand that he can't help the way he is - he says he feels guilty when not at school, but just can't do it - this must be an awful feeling for him.

Hope everyone is OK.
Sar xx

Sorry to hear that your son is feeling so low. It is so hard for people to understand the problem and they always seem to think that if it was happening to them that they would be able to sort it. Walk a mile in my shoes as the saying goes......
I hope he feels in a better place soon for both of you.
Its so exhausting for all those involved.
At the end of the day my son knows that i wont ever give up on him

Sue
Absolutely, I would never give up but sometimes it gets so hard. Yesterday I was all for throwing in the towel and pulling him out of school and home educating, but this would be so difficult as being a single mum and the only earner in the family how would we survive ? Then you think why should i as my son needs help and i don't want to be out of the system.

Im sitting here at work waiting to see what will happen next as school CAHMS and EWO have been communicating this morning - every time my mobile goes it makes me feel sick !!

Oh well, just got to keep doing our best - nothing else we can do.

Sar xx

Thinking of you and your son. You both must be feeling exhaused and drained. I hope the outcome of camhs and EWO was positive.

Try to stay strong - easy to say I know. We are all here for you both,

xx

Sarah,

So sorry to hear things are not so good.

Please don't worry, leave it to CAMHS and the EWO, you have done all you can. Don't let the school bully you by saying they will not enter your son for his GCSE's. Cross that path when and if it happens.

Just step back and be with your son, we all know how exhausting it can be.

You know where I am if you need to 'sound-off'.

Love to you both.

Sue xx

Sarah - I am so sorry you are both having such a hard time. I believe you are doing the right thing in thinking of your son's mental well being first. I don't think the schools see this - or they don't hold this in the priority that it should be.
I'm a sole parent and so I know how hard it is too to be dealing with this - hang in there - you are not alone. I hope you can get onto the CBT soon as your son does need to feel there is something he can work with. It always seems to be that the school works within the framework of 'imposing' ideas and strategies on the child to attend but in fact our kids need strategies they can work with in facing the situation - otherwise - it just isn't going to work or at least not on any regular basis.
I hope you feel a bit stronger soon - you are there for your son - and that is very important for him. Keep in touch with us - we all do know what you are going through.
Linda

Hi all - just a quick update - CAHMS have advised me to try and get him to go to school ( I can't tell you what i'm thinking to that one ) but on a positive they said EWO were helpful and will put off prosecuting me whilst we try and sort things out !!

Thank you all for your support, i really don't know what i would do without you.

Sar xx

Just sitting here thinking about SR ( as i do most of my life and i am sure you all do too )

Anyway - I am going to ask you all who have helped me through my darkest times to help me again.

I'm sure school don't understand my sons anxiety problems - they just say get him back to school - If needs be I may need to demonstrate that there are other families who are going through the same as us - would anyone be willing to e-mail me their experiences with SR - I don't want names addresses etc of course. I'm not asking for anything at the moment but would anyone help if I get pushed into a corner ?

Thank you all once again..
Sar xx

I would be happy to do that sarah. PM me your email address when you are ready.

Penny x

Hi Sarah,

I'd be really happy to help.
Send me your email address when needbe.

Sue x

absolutely, just let us know - how many chapters would you like!!

Happy to help out in any way I can.
Linda

Sarah - if you don't want to post your email - perhaps we could all sent our accounts to Simon's email (Simon - would that work ok for you?) and then he pass them on to you? Just a thought.
Hang in there.
Linda

I would be happy to facilitate something.

Simon

Thank you all so so much - you are all wonderful.

Will keep you updated.

Lots of love

Sar xx

Hi - right.

I have yet another meeting on Tuesday morning so guys if you can help me with an e-mail just supporting me by saying how effects you and how much you have tried to sort things etc it would be appreciated. I don't want to tell you what to put, but if you could in your own words your experiences i would greatly appreciate it.

Can you please e- mail to Simon ( my e-mail is my work one, that's why i dont give it out )

Please do not feel that you have to, I know you are all under alot of pressure with your own SR's.

Many thanks to you all.

Love Sar xx

Hi Sarah,

I'll send something through via Simon. Good luck with the meeting on Tuesday.
All the best,
Linda

Sarah

Sorry to hear things are rough at the moment, just hang in there and keep doing what u do best. I would be happy to help in any way I could.

Take care
Dorothy x

Thank you all for your support - you know I have just spent another hour ( yes another one ) on the net searching SR and it saddens me to see how little support there is for us all - families who are doing their best for the children - I would love to know just how many genuine SR there are.

I am turning into a "woman with a mission" collating as much info / stories as possible for evidence - not only for my meeting Tuesday but to help as many people I can in the future. I am not going to stop until I have made a difference.

Wish me luck
Sar x

Sarah,

I'm with you on this. Last summer I talked to my son's therapist who had 10 school refusers on her books last summer (just in west london) and she was planning to put on a conference in London about School Refusal/Phobia but she is very very busy. She also runs a CBT school. All her school refusers are of varying ages and have different issues but the common thread was anxiety was preventing them from attending school. We discussed who would come to the conference and what the agenda would be. Do we want to educate schools and health professionals or do we want to help the parents? We were looking to do it in September of this year but sadly, summer holidays came and I didn't nag her enough. Would parents be interested? Would we even get health professionals interested? Would it be an opportunity to get press awareness? I could make this happen but need to work out what exactly we want to achieve.... She also had the committment of a very prominent child pysch on board who works with school refusers but as we know, some parents are very anti medication so would this put of some parents? What does everyone think? Would a conference be of interest? and then of course, we have to look at the cost...How much would people be willing to pay?

Your thoughts would be really appreciated...

Thank you, Sophy, I have put this under a new topic as I think it important it stands out.