Hello,
I am back after being absent all fall. My 16 1/2 year old son made an attempt to go back to school this year but after only a 50% attendance rate that was slipping toward the beginning of November, we finally made the excruciating decision to pull him out. I felt like the depression, stress and anxiety surrounding trying to go each morning and being unsuccessful was taking way too much of a toll on him and the whole family. And medication didn't seem to help.

The hardest part for him is the social aspect. He misses his friends. He does not want to identify himself as an "high school drop-out" or reach out to the home-school community. He has many interests (he is an avid guitar and sax player and is interested in guitar repair) but is not much of a self-starter.

However, he is 2 months away from being eligible to take the high school equivalency exams and move on to what we call here Jr. College (I don't know if they have those in the UK - 2 year programs that lead toward a 4 year university.)

So my question for those of you with experience; have your school refusers found college to be a different experience? I have heard mixed things here. I am optimistic that the flexibility of a college schedule will be more suited to my son. What has been your experience.? I recall from last year that someone's daughter (was it yours, Simon?) was going to attend an arts program in college. How is that going?

I certainly hope we have done the right thing. The "Doubts and Regrets" column grows longer and wider.

Thanks,
Helen

Hi Helen,

Sorry to hear about your son, but I think you've done the right thing. I've always believed that education is out there, it doesn't have to be right here, right now.

My daughter missed most of her senior schooling and all of Year 11 which is our GCSE year. The GCSE's get you into college or not, depending on your grades. My daughter had 6-9 months of home tuition (I fought for the education system for it though). She managed to get 5 GCSE's and started a National Diploma in Art and Design at college in September. I am happy to say she loves it! She says the freedom is good and the relaxed attitude of the tutors makes for a great learning environment. She has made lots of new friends and is out and about with them and doing all the things that tenagers do. She mentioned the other day that it is great to finally 'have a life'. So never give up hope Helen.

We know our youngsters better than anyone. I always told the professionals that she would be fine at college, they always doubt me and were very negative but we have proved them wrong.

My daughter is happy and so am I and we now smile a lot more in our household and you will too. Hang in there.

Good luck to you all.

Sue x

That is enormously encouraging, Sue. Thank you. We are going through a very rough time right now - I am looking forward to one day being able to look back on this.