Hi,
I have just found this website. My youngest daughter had a hard time last year at Primary School and would not go into the classroom thanks to poor management by one of the teachers, so I ended up teaching her myself in a side room. She started secondary school in September and although has found it hard at times, she has settled well and is happy when she gets there. However the thought of going to school is causing incredible anxiety and paralysed her with fear this morning and so she has refused to go in at all.
We had such a lovely stressfree Christmas break and I knew we would have problems this morning with her anxiety, but did not anticipate crying on the phone while explaining to her school that she is refusing to go in.

Annabel - crying on the phone is perfectly understandable and especially seeing you would have deep down been really hoping that everything just went ok. If it helps - we know how you must be feeling and have all felt this way and sometimes still do. I started emailing my son's teacher so that I didn't have to ring up the office in the morning to tell them as I usually felt too upset to speak to anyone. Even then - sometimes I just didn't bother contacting them as it gets rather tiresome and emotional.

Has your daughter been diagnosed with anxiety? Has she been working with a psychologist/counsellor? I am a big fan of Cognitive Behaviour Therapy - so as I always do - would recommend that you give some serious thought to finding someone who does this with children and see how you go. We can only keep on trying things that may or may not work - but sometimes something just clicks and things go ok. But generally, as Simon said in the previous post - we just need to be there to support our children and show them that we believe in them and are trying to understand what they are going through.
Hang in there - we all try and support each other on here through what is rather a rocky emotional road.
Linda

Annabel - I sat and thought about all the parent going through this this morning. I have said so many many times year 7 is a difficult time for sensitive children, and please don't worry about crying to school - I have a degree in it. It is 3 years to the day my son started refusing - after Christmas in year 7 there must be a pattern. Like Linda we are trying CBT only in the early stages but hopeful ( thanks Linda ) You need to get a referal to CAMHS this can be done via the school or GP, I have found them very helpful.

Keep your chin up, you are not alone and support your daughter.

Sarah