Hi,
I would welcome advice as to how to deal with my daughter. As I mentioned in a previous post she struggled for much of year 6 to get into school and then started high school really well. She didn't always want to go in, but made good friends and once at school always enjoyed it. She has not been back since Christmas and I took her to see one of the teachers on Friday who suggested that she was so distressed she is not ready to come back and we should get a mental health referral so that they can get her 5 hours of home tuition. I am not against this totally, but do not want to give up hope of her going back into school soon. I know that is what she desperately wants and I do not want her to become socially isolated. She has not told friends why she is off. Should I give in and accept home tuition or keep trying to persuade her to go in as well? The former seems the easy option as the latter is exhausting!!
Many thanks to you all.
xx

Hi Annabel

Sorry to hear that you are going through this, it is a rollercoaster, some good days, some bad days, I'm sure you will have read a lot of the posts and see that there are so many children and families going through this nightmare. we have been on this rollercoaster for 4 years now and in our hearts we always hoped our son would go back to school, we also had to look at other options, most of us on this site have been involved with CAMHS, some good reviews and some bad, we had excellent help from this service and for a short while managed to get our son into school for a short time, never full time though, now he has 3 hours tuition a week at an education centre, not what our dreams were for him, but looking back over the years, its a huge acheivement.

Unfortunately you have a very rocky road ahead of you, but as long as your daughter knows you are there for her then you will get there, i found, and most of families on this site will agree, you cant push her, you will have to go at her pace, sometimes i look back over the years and wonder how we managed to get where we are today, simon and the friends i have met here have helped along that way, i wouldn't have managed without them and finally accepting that my son will never go back to school, think that was the hardest hurdle.

Sorry, seem to have ranted a bit, sometimes you have to, what i'm trying to say is keep trying to get your daughter back to school, one day at a time, i took my son to school every day for 2 years, some days he went in, some he never, but accept the help from school and CAMHS as well.

Take care
Dorothy x

Annabel - I so feel for you, you are at the stage we were 3 years ago. My son was exactly the same as I have said before Christmas year 7, must be a trigger. After being out of school for 12 months and going to the tuition centre we did manage slowly slowly to get my som back to school full time for 6 months - i thought we had won, only for the classes to get re-arranged in year 9 - totally threw him, and basically hasn't been back since ( apart from an hour here etc ) I too have resigned myself to fact that he will never go back to school, and today he starts his "home tuition". We aren't really sure how many hours they are planning to give him, but as he is now almost aggrophobic they are coming to the house. As Dorothy says stay strong for your daughter she needs you. You will at times question her - and may think she is taking you for a fool - believe her - these children can't help it.

Stay strong and keep in touch..
Sar xx

Thank you to you both. I will follow any advice from CAMHS and the specialists, and will continue to support my daughter in anyway possible whether by home tuition or driving her up to school daily and then home again.
Thank you for your support. It is good to know there are other people in the same situation.

Sarah

I hope today went well

Take care
Dorothy x