I would be grateful if anyone could provide info on how their LEA has dealt with their school refuser child. We have a meeting under caution tomorrow regarding prosection and any info would be appreciated. Have you had help, if so what? Any part time schooling offered......stuff along those lines that i can use to say what they could be doing to help instead of just prosecuting us. Just though if other LEA's are being more suportive I could ask why they arent??????
Cheers
Sue

Our (Scottish) local authority offered sessions at a special unit, with one 2 one, or almost one 2 one teaching and coaching. This was for a limited period.
Simon

Sue

We were offered ( after nealy 12 months of struggling ) a slow integration, starting with lunch time, then adding registration, then a lesson etc which was successful at the time. Unfortunatley my son's anxieties were so bad that this broke down after the summer holiday break, and we were back to square one. He did for a short time in Sept / Oct do an hour a day, building up to 2, but this again was too much for him, resulting in him becoming aggrophobic. The PRU are home schooling him a the moment, 1-2 hours per week with a view of increasing this - paid for out of the school budget. Look at the West Sussex webiste for Emotional Based School Refusal (EBSR) and that will give you factual information, very long document but well worth a read. Also you need NOW to call Parent Partnership, they are local authority but will advise you on what help they can give as they are neutral between schools and parents ( Stafford have an office i believe )
Post again if you need anything else - good luck to you as my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

Sarah xx

Sue - if you need to chat e-mail me your number and I will call you xx

Thanks Sarah, I have contacted parent partnership and they have offered advice and cannot believe the school are going down this route. We asked if they could attend the meeting with us but they dont do that. Neither would half a dozen solicitors i called, i suppose they dont want to take on the LEA.

Sue

I can't believe Parent Partneship wouldn't attend the meeting - was it because it was too short notice ? I have called them about an hour ago regarding my sons home education and they are contacting the school, ed welfare etc to see what can be done - they have also said they will attend any meeting i have in the future - what is your local office - ?

Sarah x

Dear Sue

I will be thinking of you tomorrow...i am so sorry for you all..please mail me and let me know how it goes x

Sue

Our LEA have been so supportive, the started by offering one period at a time, which worked for short time, then they said they were willing to accomodate any request the psycologist put forward. My son now attends the local education centre for an hour a day, mon, tue, wed, he goes into school for an hour a week to see support for learning teacher, but have told us that he is welcome into school any time he feels able.

Good luck for tomorrow, I will be thinking of you.

Take care
Dorothy x

Sue

My love, support and prayers are with you and your family. Remember you are not alone we are all behind you. Please post and let us know how it went.

Sarah and M xx

Sue - how did you get on ?? I have been thinking about you all day and checking the web site, please let me know you are OK asap.

Sarah xx

Firstly thank you all for your support, it means so much knowing we are not alone in this. The meeting was as to be expected, bureaucratic and negative. They will not accept that our son’s condition prevents him from attending school; they asked us what we had done to secure his attendance. They were not willing to accept reports from CAMHS as evidence of his anxiety and when we asked what support was available to help us with his education we were told we had received everything there was. They are postponing the prosecution to have a further discussion with CAMHS but this is only prolonging the inevitable as unless a consultant is willing to put in writing that our son cannot attend school due to his anxiety they will prosecute. We explained that this would not solve our son’s problem or miraculously make him attend school but it fell on deaf ears. When asked is his problem was a broken leg, or god forbid a more recognised serious illness we were told that would be different scenario. Why isn’t mental health treated as a real illness?? We have left the meeting feeling the ‘system’ has let our son down and that we have no choice but to de-register him and home educate. We need to get our heads together and plan a new future for us and our son; I do not wish to trust such an uncaring system with my son any longer. Off course they will check what we do with a fine tooth comb but I say bring it on, we cant do any worse than they have. They may have given up on him but we haven’t. Sitting there being read our rights when my husband and I are good, hard working, honest people was very hard to stomach...’you have the right to remain silent’....that’s what they want, for our problem to go away.

I agree with everything you say Sue...I have read the laws on homeschooling Sue...they can't just invaid your life or demand anything...for some of us homeschooling is the ONLY option...i have tried everything i can to solve my own daughters situation...no one has come forward to date with any help...There needs to be some kind of understanding somewhere of our childrens plight..if they could only see what we/our children suffer maybe they wouldn't be so ignorant!!!

Much love Sue x

GOB SMACKED - apologies for puting it so bluntly but you have been failed by the system - and I feel so sorry for you.. Are CAMHS willing to out his diagnosis in writing for you ? They did in my sons case and saved us ( for now ) SO what are you supposed to do ? When will people listen, we are all hard working caring people and do our best.

I'm going to go now because I am so angry for you.

Sarah x

I am SO frustrated and angry too...we didn't get to school until 11.50am today...after 4 hours of sobbing.....only to be greeted by a very stern headteacher asking where was todays homework...dear God...it's taken all of our energy just to get there without asking for **** homework!! I might add my child has always done and given it in on time ..always...I feel like i have been smacked by a brick wall ...i realize there is no help...it's not coming

Julie,
This is absolutely awful. I do hope that CAMHS can put a diagnosis in writing for you. You are quite right, mental illness in whatever form it takes is a silent illness. The authorities cant see it , so therefore in their eyes it does not exist. Disgraceful.
Thinking of you,

Penny x

Thank you Pennyx

I feel so much pain on this forum ..today has been horrendous...and we have to go through it all again tomorrow and the next day and so on...

Sue H, Julie - how are you feeling today? I find it so hard to believe in your case, Sue, that the authorities are so hard cased - you must have felt so angry. And Julie, fancy asking for homework......sounds familiar though. And it seems that within the UK you have totally different reactions depending on the individuals involved?
I wonder, Sue, if you can get in touch with the judge who threw the case out of court regarding school refusal just a year or two ago - I gave the URL for that site re the article. Or even contact the paper to get in touch with the parents to share your story with them and find some strategies to work through with authorities? Not sure what else to say - but hang in there - I am thinking of you and Julie - and others on here who continue to struggle as we all do.
It was our first day back at school today. My son had his head over a bucket from when he woke up, he was pale and said he felt like fainting. But I am so proud of him because he got there. I know this won't last - it never does - but I take strength from knowing I am not alone with all of you on here even though you are millions of miles away geographically. Take care everyone -
Linda

Thank you Linda

I had a letter today from CAMHS to say ...even though they have never seen my daughter that she doesn't meet their criteria!! My own GP told them she has chronic anxiety...so i won't get any help from them...leaves me on my own to fight ..

I so understand the bucket..my daughter was sick at least three times a day for over 2 years...still i got no help...the bucket was a large feature in our lives for a long time...i always keep one handy, although the sickness has ceased as she's got older but the anxiety has got worse! I really do feel for you and your child Linda...it's very hard

I dread every morning...i never know how it's going to go...today was a brilliant day...on time...went in fine...tomorrow could be oh so different...and thats what people don't understand..how can she be fine one day and not the next...anxiety is no time keeper!!!

Good luck to us all....and our beautiful, misunderstood children xXx

Julie, My son was rejected by CAMHS at first and before they had seen him. They have to go on the referral request that your GP writes and idf that has no strength in it then they will not take the case. The Education Welfare officer re-referred my son and he was seen so perhaps you can ask yours to do the same. They should offer but if not i would ask. Your daughter does so well in going at all, my son hasnt been in since early December so she is doing brilliant.
Good luck XXX

I just want to cry - I know how you feel as every morning is a nightmare. You must must must get a referal to camhs, go back to your GP or ask ED Welfare what help they are going to offer you.

Hold in there, I have an issue today but need to get my head round it before I post.

Love to all.

Sarah xx

This is the hardest thing i have ever had to cope with...I am living on eggshells as i really don't know how each day is going to be....our headteacher was good at first but now is quite vile...be consistant!! She told me she didn't mind her getting in late or just part days...now just two weeks after the anxiety has returned...believe me it feels a life time...we are being treated like we are just an annoyance...all they care about is numbers and figures...just get them in the door...the rest doesn't matter...she was horrible to me weds..i had just had 4 hours of trying to get my child to school to only be greated with contempt..it was everything i could not to cry ..

I feel such releif the week end is almost here...but monday is already on my mind. They are going to another school for the morning...i know my daughter is worried about this...so i know i will have a problem...

I wait for the ed officer to come at 10.30am...
I'd really like to see some of these offical people try and cope with what we do....!!!