Hello, my name is Sam, I have a 12 year old son George, who has proplems going to school, it started at primary , it was not a big issue then, as i worked up the school, The real propblems statred at secondary school... From september to december his attendence was 68%.... the school has contacted the Educational welfare,, we r wating for a referall to cahms BUT ALL I HEAR IS HE HAS GOT TO GO TO SCHOOL, i KNOW THAT, BUT HOW, all he says is its 2 hard......... thanku sam

Hi Sam - this is really hard for you and your son i know. What is the problem ? is he being bullied ? 68% to me doesnt sound too bad, obviously not good but at least he is going. Are certain days a problem or is it getting gradually worse ? CAMHS are very good and will help. Post some more details and we can offer further support.

Sarah

Hi Sam, my son is 12 and that seems to be a common age for their problem, transition into senior school i suppose. 68% is far better than my son has managed lately so he should be proud he has acheived that how every difficult it was to do. CAMHS should help, i hope he talks about how he is feeling. My son struggles to let it out and sometime they do say they don't know why. Keep in touch on here, we all understand and can offer support if nothing else. Good thoughts to you and your family. XX

Sam - you'll read lots of similar stories here. The anxiety is possibly there at Primary but other factors can make it harder to detect - so it rears its head when they are that bit older (although in our case it has been going on since he first started Primary). I have heard that so many times "You just have to get him to school.' OR even worse "You do know - you have to get him to school?' As if I didn't!! Lack of understanding of what our children go through is a huge problem, Sam - so we have to try and educate others. Having your child diagnosed by a doctor or paediatrician might help as some authorities (not all it seems) will listen if your child has been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder- which all our children seem to have. I would also recommend seeking a professional Cognitive Behaviour therapist for your son - as the strategies they work with help anxiety - and it also gives your son something to work with so that he does not feel he is going crazy.
Our kids are bright it seems and not necessarily shy at all - but highly sensitive and school is an environment that can easily confront them and make it impossible to go. As the others have said - 68% is not so bad - but I can understand that any time off in that situation feels pretty bad.
Good luck and keep talking to us when the frustration hits - we are here for each other.
Linda

Thanu everbody..xxxxx I am sat here readind your letters and crying at the same time...xxxx it s GOOD TO SPEAK TO OTHERS WHO R IN THE SAME BOAT..XXX gEORGE HAS GONE TO SCHOOL TDAY..XXXX SPEAK SOON..

Well done, George!

We are thinking of you both this morning.

Simon

Well done Sam and George, I'm trying not to cry for you as Im at work, but it's hard not too. Keep going you are doing so well.
Keep in touch

Sarah xx

Well done to you both, keep strong

Take care
Dorothy x

Well Sam..your on the boat. Take your son to a psych. doc...see if he can get his anxiety diagnosed. Talk to school next..see if you can get a moderated day...perhaps 3 hours to start with a gradual workup. If you reach the point of court...you will have that as backup that you took that first step with recognising your sons anxiety with going to school. Their might be more to his unwillingness to go, but you need a doc for that extra bit of digging in...in the meantime...try and build his confidence. Praise when he does go to school..tell him what a wonderful young man he's turning out to be etc. These should be your first steps toward his being an successful man. Good luck....Hope this helps you.