Hi,

I don't think we have had a 'good' week all year so far. Each new week I wake up and just hope that this week will be a week where it all falls back into place. But it is starting to mirror more and more those of you who have teenage children. When he was younger we did have some really good spells and then some fallbacks. Now we have what feels like a continual uphill struggle - every week - every morning. He made it to school two days last week and went in late both times. This morning - meltdown. Agreed to go in later. Now says work is too hard. This is probably the pattern. Stay away too long and the work does get hard. Sorry - just raving on here as I struggle to try and remain calm in the face of what looks like a very long drawn out year and we are not even at secondary school yet. Thanks for anyone who is listening and for those of you in a worse situation - my heart goes out to you. We try and keep ourselves in a good frame of mind to help our kids but sometimes it is just so hard.
Hoping everyone else has a better start to this week,
Linda

hi linda sorry you are having such abad week,i think most of us have experienced the two steps forward one back.its very stressfull and emotionally its very draining and thats just to us .my son used to be so depressed at just the thought of school!!!!now i am being told hes not school phobic just frightened of his peers!!!.hope things pick up sorry no reall advice just so you know i know how you feel and sympathise with you and your son take care donna

Linda and Penny,

My heart goes out to you both. It's so tough because no one sees what we do each morning.

I cant offer any solutions, just step back for a while, take each day as it comes rather than looking at things long term. It wont change the SR but it may just help you as parents survive the recent setbacks.

We are all here for you.

Hugs.

Sue and M. x

Linda - i know this is little consolation but that fact that your son went in two days even if late was good really. He is still hangining in there and hasn't given up entirely so that is a positive it really is.

Hang in there - dont give up.

Take care

Sar xx

Linda

Sorry to hear your struggling at the moment, I wish I could say that it will get better but you know all of us to well, just want you to know that we are here for you and will listen when ever you feel things getting too much, some days will be better than others, stay strong.

Take care
Dorothy x

Thank you Donna, Sarah, Sue and Dorothy for your suport - it means a lot to read those comments from you. My son has promised to go in at morning tea time today and it is looking a bit more hopeful on this front today. I can't quite figure out whether it is the concentration required for the morning activities that makes the morning worse or his sleep cycle which is up the creek. Due to such difficulty getting to sleep it is probably like us trying to get up at 5am - it requires enormous effort. Breaking into changing the sleep pattern is no easy matter though - as you all know - so not sure I can get through on that front but will keep trying.
Someone just asked me again why I don't home school. I don't home school because he is an only child. But why have others on here decided not to home school? Is it the work situation - the requirements - the social aspect. Curious to know why anyone who has more than one child might not have gone down this road when the going got tough?
Linda

hi linda well i did home school when he was in yr 7,it was ok he did the work but he neede3d the social side and we got no help at all when he was my responsibility!!!!i then put him into anew school in yr 8 and this lasted about four weeks of mornings only then i couldnt get him to go again .

Linda - there were quite a few reasons i didn't home school full time - financial as i have to work, motivation - my son doesn't seem to work well with me as he always has excuses and lastly as he is older i could never in a million years get him through his GCSE's. What didn't concern me was the social side - he wasn't socialising anyway so there would be no difference.

Well, jusdt when i thought everything was going well, my son announced he doesn't like his tutor - HELP !! She is due to finish any minute with him now and i am just waiting to call home and see how it went - this nightmare just never ends.

Oh well onwards and upwards

Sarah xx

Sorry to hear your son doesn't like his tutor. Do you think our kids are hypersensitive to personalities too?!
My son is refusing to get out of bed this morning. Claims he is too tired. But he wouldn't go to bed/sleep last night!! Makes me soooooo frustrated. They are also just so out of our control - and that is a weird feeling.
Linda

The decision to home educate is not an easy one. We took is as the the school were set on prosecution and that was making our son worse and we feared for his mental health. It is a struggle as i work part time and the main burden is on me. He is year 8 and we use an online tutoring service which helps pin point his progress and I underpin that myself with lessons. I left school 28 years ago so its research and study for me too before I can even start to explain it to my son but we are making good progress and have been 'catching up' on year 7/8 work so hopefully come Autumn he'll be ready to start year 9 level work. We hope its not a long term solution and that one day he will return to a school but at the moment just seeing him come back to life and wanting to learn makes it all worth it. We have an inspection from the LEA tomorrow, 4 months after de-registering him so I am a little nervous. Good luck with what ever you decide. XX

Thanks for your story Sue. I can see that we are all faced with similar problems regarding how home schooling might work in with our lives. Are you able to join with any local home education network for get togethers or classes even?
Sounds like you are doing a great job but a lot of work! Is your son now motivated enough to work on his own sometimes or does he need your input most of the time?
Good luck with the LEA tomorrow. Hope all goes well.
Linda

hi sue please dont worry about lea coming they came to my house when my son was in yr 7.they were really nice just checked some of his work asked if he had any hobbies and checked to see if he had a bit of everything.i think you are doing it for the same reason i did !!.the whole family changed once i deregistered him as we were all so stressed with the daily fights and tears.i did it just short term until we all destressed then i put him back in just so i could get some help from camhs and others.good luck

Good luck with the LEA Sue.

You sound as if you are doing a great job. I was too scared to home tutor as I felt I wasnt confident enough to see it through, so well done you!

It must be reward enough just to see your son happy and willing to learn.

Take care.

Sue and M. x