Hi

Today I feel lighter as my son went to school after a two day blip. We never have any full weeks any more so things are worse this year than any other but we are still managing a few days a week - so that is good but it makes for a very edgy and sensitive household where we fly off the handle easily about non related school matters as well :-(

Just wondering if anyone has heard of this on-line schooling in the UK?
Is it something that some of you might

http://www.firstcollege.co.uk/

Linda

Linda

So good to hear your son went in, as you know this is a rollercoaster and we just have to ride it out, just praise him for the acheivements he makes, as it is so hard for him.

My sons support for learning teacher commented at the meeting about how awful my son looked when he had come in for tuition, she said she had seen him pale before but not grey and dark eyed as he was that day, so unfortunately even when it is almost over, they still struggle with anxiety.

Take care
Dorothy x

hi linda,i just looked at your link it looks really good,my son has been given 5hrs tuition at the library,but if this doesnt work and i end up having to deregister him again i would be very interested.there fees are very reasonable!thanks for that

I am glad it was of help, Donna. And thanks Dorothy. Unfortunately we had a bad day today again and we both ended up terribly stressed and he then refused to go up to his dads tonight due to stress.

I try to ride the rollercoaster - but you know what its like - sometimes we just fall off and have to get up again - much as our kids do.

Sorry your son is still feeling the effects of his anxiety - his anxiety from school pressure might be around for awhile until he can put enough space between it and where he is at. My son also often looks pale - especially when anxious.

Lets hope we and the kids can relax for the weekend. WE don't have end of terms or whatever some of you guys have coming up soon - we have about another 6 weeks left....daunting just thinking about it.
Linda

Linda,

Try to ease off and step back for the next 6 weeks if you can.

I know we all try our hardest to get our youngsters to school daily but sometimes you just have to step back, take all pressure off both of you and just be mum and son for a while.

I felt that the gap between us became so wide at times, due to me constantly pushing my daughter. It was only when I stepped back, accepted the situation and eased off for a while that she felt able to gain some control and try again. I'm not saying its easy but they need to know we are on their side.

The best advice given to me by my daughters counsellor was .... Education doesnt have to right here right now, its available thoughout our lives...... she was so right.

You will get there, I promise.

Hugs.

Sue and M. x

Thanks for all the good wishes x

Linda

Thinking about you, hope you have a relaxing weekend

Take care
Dorothy x

Thanks Sue and Dorothy,

And Sue - you are right - I need to step back. I feel so incredibly stressed and so does my son. Our relationship is at an all time low as there is just him and me and so he takes it all out on me when stressed and then I react and on it goes. I have been able to step back in the past but that was when things weren't as bad but I guess it is even more important now.

I find everyone is kind of pushing us from his dad to the counsellor to the school to others (reminding me that he has high school next year - as if I need reminding!!). It is like the pressure is on both of us to succeed in this last year of Primary and it is just back firing.

To see an 11 year old so stressed, angry and depressed saddens me so much. Sometimes it is hard to just step back when the pressure is on and especially from his dad who has no idea of the rollercoaster and only sees parts and then makes judgements. Thanks for reminding me - I think you reminded me last time I got stuck in a rut too!!
Linda

Linda

I really feel for you, I remember when all this started with my son and I kept thinking that I would never get through it, now I look back and wonder how I did get through it, but we did get through it, something drives you every single day, even in your darkest days, you know that your a good mum and you know your son can't help this, no one else matters, on your darkest days, think of us, Sue and Simon and know that however tough it is just now, you will get through it, we are here for you anytime of the day and night and will help you as much as we can.

Take care
Dorothy x

Thanks Dorothy, your kind words are really appreciated. I know when things are running a bit smoother I am able to reach out and help others but sometimes like this last week I just feel so inwardly focused that it is hard to get my head into a clear space. It feels like the rest of the world is just skipping along and our wheels have fallen off.

Before I found this forum and the wonderful people here I used to feel so incredibly isolated. I think being able to express what we are going through to others who understand is vital. Only the parents understand fully. The best psychologists can try and understand but even unless they have been through it - they don't know quite what we go through.

I have also just recently discovered a parent through my son's football who has a 15 year old with SR and we email each other during the week to offer support.

Thinking of you all and hoping that the weekend is good and that next week is a positive one for at least some of the time : -)
Linda

Further to the on-line college I also found this for the UK and INternational Schooling where it explains' WES' (WOrld WIde Education SErvice) for kids 4-14.
They also have tutors that help. Seems they might be increasing the age to which they have resources and materials. This might be of interest to some of you.
Linda


http://www.learn4good.com/homeschools/uk-england-homeschooling-programs.htm

Linda,

You are a great mum! Just do what you feel is right for you and your son.

I'm on my own too and I found it very stressful when others had an input, as they had no idea what we were going through. Everyone thought they knew best! I found I was constantly trying to please everyone and my daughter was the last on the list to get my time and understanding.

It was only when I took someones advice from a helpline, accepted the situation and stopped trying to make her like other children, that things got better. She was different and I had to be a different mum. If she couldnt make it into school, she just couldnt. Who was it really affecting apart from me and her? I had to accept her as she was and let her know I was on her side, do my best for her and not make her 'fit' the role of a typical child. When I took that on board it became easier, as the stress in the house was not so intense, and we became a team against the world!

You and your son's well-being are all that matters right now!

Its such a tough road you are travelling but you are doing a fantastic job! Just take it one day at a time. Hang in there!

Heres a HUG just for you.

Sue and M x

Thanks Sue - it is good to hear what you have felt and what changed the situation. I really appreciate your support during this rough patch. You have done a great job and being on your own too you must have felt it was such a difficult road at times. And here's a big HUG back for being so kind::-) Hope things are going well for both you and your daughter.
best wishes,
Linda

Hi again Sue,

When you stepped back and accepted the situation - how did you not just feel that you had 'given up' trying as such? I am really struggling with this. I tried stepping back and MOnday came and went - Tuesday has come and gone and now my son says he doesn't think he can go tomorrow. I just feel like I have given up trying to get him there and this means he won't go. Do you think it is the age of our kids or am I just not quite getting the acceptance? I just feel if I accept the situation and take what comes that my son will never go to school again as he has no realisation of what he is missing or what good it might do him. As far as he is concerned he hates school and would never go again if it wasn't for me trying to get him to go.
I just feel really torn up inside and as I can't get him to do any work at home - I just feel really helpless watching him doing nothing day after day except watch TV comedies and play the psp. I took them off him on Monday for some of the time but instead of doing any work or anything else he just got really angry with me and cried and said he wasn't coping.
Did you daughter decide to go back into school on some occasions? I know in the later years she didn't but was she sometimes motivated when she was in early secondary? I guess I am really scared that my son will end up just not attending and I thought this might happen at high school - not before he gets there. Sorry for raving - just not coping too well at the moment,
Thanks,
Linda