Hi ,just wondering if anyone else had any support from a parenting practitioner.i am currently seeing her once aweek but very unsure as she keeps saying when we get him into school and she said she had watched him at the referral centre and he was popular and seemed to be coping.Then the phycholigist(sorry cant spell) well thats because we have apattern and he copes for so long then he bottles his stress then it all comes out at once,but they obviously dont speak.he has social and emotional problems he is waiting to be assessed for aspergers.as he has been taught the same as my daughter and she is very sociable he isnt he wants to be.he is very bright.the pp keeps saying hes has no problems it is taught behaviour.i know we probably spoilt him when he was ill we thought he had a brain tumour he went through mri s .he was having really bad migraines and screaming the house down at aged 9.then when he was 10 he told me he was being bullied the school didnt believe him .i did as the bullies used to follow me home and try to intimidate me.i changed his school and he loved the new school but this had started his anxiety off.we are not sure if he was bullied because he has aproblem or he has aproblem because he was bullied!!!!.he is a very loving boy hes 13 now but very young for his age as hasnt attended school properly since he was 9.so really i cant see what they can do to help he starts having tuition for 5 hrs aweek in the library after half term.the pp keeps saying i need to spend 2x1hr a week as special time i am with him 24/7 but when i suggest something he would rather go on his xbox.we do talk alot and i understand him he is different but i accept this why wont they!sorry i am rambling on i just love him so much i want him to get to 16 and choose his path what education he wants i know he would pass his maths gcse now he has science already.just needs the social skills,thats all ive ever asked for thanks for any advice in advance i have found this site alot of support since i found it. donnax

Hi Donna,

Sorry to hear that there seems to be little understanding. This seems a common problem. Unless they are also there 24/7- they cannot possibly know what you and your son go through. You need to somehow keep telling them this even though it is really hard.

It is interesting some of what you describe and the parenting practitioner (I have not heard of them) saying you need an hour special time. I feel I do need that with my son as we do tend to both be a bit down together and kind of filling in the space of the day. We used to have what I felt was 'special' time but it just isn't there anymore. So whilst I don't agree with anything else she might be saying - she might be suggesting that just so that you both feel you are connecting a bit more? It is good that you are still talking ok together.

Good luck with the testing for aspergers. And if you can get anything happening like some of the others have suggested things might start to move forward. But otherwise - hang in there - its a rocky road but hopefully you will find the help and support you need soon. The parenting practitioner has probably entered your life when you are both worn down - she needs to know that and realise that before this happened - you were probably two different people?
Tell her about others on this list - and how we all have similar stories. My son also looks ok when at school but he tells me it is hard work and I cop the fallout when he gets home (when he goes that is!).
Take care and hang in there -
Linda

Donna - what a load of ... sorry but i do not believe this is learnt behaviour as i have myself too looked into this. My 2 sons have been bought up in exactly the same way and my other son has so much confidence. Yes your son maybe fine in the library he feels safe there but school is a different thing altogether. With regards to x box this is a way of socialising and like my son he feels this is his world and can forget his problems.

No one knows what we go through and the professional should understand.

Keep your chin up and you do what you think is best for your family.

Sar x

thanks sarah and linda,you get told so many times you are an over anxious mother that you start to believe that it must be something you have done.i have 29yrs of looking after someone elses children but its totally different being your own child!!!.

Hi Donna,

We end up being anxious - and why wouldn't we. We go through a very stressful time! And yes - other people's kids are different than your own - we have an emotional attachment that makes a huge difference on all fronts.
I am just struggling at the moment to get out of a depression as I just let the whole thing get to me. I wanted to be strong for my son but it all got a bit much.
Know what you are going through. Hang in there - we will see better days: -)
Linda

Hi Donna

Sorry your having such a hard time, keep on this forum as you will get lots of support here, We were told it could be a separation issue, but like Sarah, I brought both my children up the same and my daughter had no problems.

Keep strong.

Take care
Dorothy x

hi dorothy ive had that one too,and like you i brought my son up the same as my daughter she has no problems and loves school.