school refusers
a resource for parents
I last posted some time last year when my daughter finally had found peace with her home tutor. She was happily studying for her GCSE'S and doing really well. After 4 yrs of hell with social services and EWA'S!!!!.
The home tuition service were fantastic an her tutor was exceptional.
She became part of the family. She found a child that was bright, beautiful and with a huge appetite to learn, but not confident about her abilities an socially backwards. (despite efforts to get her to interact with her peers)
We only had 2 hrs of tuition a day and she had to start nearly from scratch. As Charlotte had not had any formal schooling since yr 7 she had never written an essay or done comprehension. Maths was a nightmare she didnt even know all her tables. Now she needed to start on her GCSE'S.
With a lot of hard work she ended up with exceptional results. Foundation Science (A) with an A* for course work additional science (A) English lang (B) English lit (C) Maths (D) one mark off C and RE (D) she did not start the sylabus for this sbject untill Easter an she took the exam in June!! Apparently she was one of the brightest pupils the service has ever had. I think this is proberbly one of the things that all our kids have in common, exceptional intellegence. This is just not catered for in school.
During this time her confidence just grew and grew. She also expanded her social circle and now has so many friends that I lose count.
As a result she has been able to start her A levels at believe it or not school!!!!!!! 
This was her choice, she wants to go to Uni and is desperate to get on with her life. School have been brilliant and so have her friends.
One of her friends meets her in the morning and walks into school with her and she is in a form with several of her friends and she meets them at breaks, lunch and in free time. School have bent over backwards to help her and she is meeting them half way. It has only been a week but she is very happy with it. The only problem she has is getting used to several hours more tuition than she is used to. She is taking 4 A levels and wants to go on and be a barrister!.
There is hope, but I have to say that it is her social life that has made this possible. She joined a drama/ arts club as a condition of her home tuition and it grew from there. 2yrs later I have a confident young lady who is in love with learning. She is confident not only in her school work but socially as well.
I will keep in touch and I just hope it continues. I think all our kids our so inividual and you just cant put square pegs in round holes. She was branded as manipulative and very badly behaved, spoiled and I was bad parent always giving in to her an not giving her boundarys.
This is all now proved untrue. They threatend to take her into care and charge me with emotional abuse!
There is light at the end of the tunnel and our kids go on to be wonderful audlts and have every chance at being succesful in their chosen careers,
we are not bad parents we need to be there for them. All these people (so called experts!) do not know your child like you do and we have to back our kids up, I just wish we did not have fight so hard to do what is right for our kids. School is not always the right place for them.
Hi Simon,
Our experience really leaves me to believe that the majority of these kids are exceptionally intelligent and sensitive. Just like kids from mensa they need special tuition. I have always known that my daughter was extremely clever but it was only when we went back to school to look at sixth form two months ago that the headmaster (who had always been very supportive) explained that she had achieved some of the highest SAT and intelligence scores the school had ever seen. Also the report from the home tuition service said that she was probably the cleverest child that they had ever had.
The major problem we have is the arrogance of the system. Schools want to keep the bright kids so they look good and as parents we are made to feel like failures just because our kids dont fit in, and the worse thing of all our children are made not only to feel like failures and know one even their parents believe them and this causes so much damage.
Every education authority is obligated to educate our children even those that are kicked out of school and dont want to learn as well those with long term illnesses.
I realy feel that it should include our children who desperatly want to learn. This in conjunction with socialisation so they dont feel isolated and builds up confidence. This could be done in every education authority.
But first and foremost we must believe our children and support them even if it means taking them off role and teaching them at home ourselves.
These days it is not so hard with internet access, and exams can be sat at local colleges.
Perhaps someone could set up open university type courses where kids can learn at their own pace and course materials ect are sent to you and paid for by the local ed authority!
I just truly believe that these kids should be taught at home. They can and will go back when they feel they are ready. They are very special.
