Hi
Im new on here but find it reassuring to know that we are not the only family going through the hell that is school refusal.
My 14 year old daughter suffers from anxiety which affects her life in many ways but appears to be overwhelming when it comes to school. She had not been to school at all for 2 years, but after lots of counselling and hard work on her part she got into a new school in June this year. All appeared well and she returned somewhat hesitantly after the summer break.
However, we now have deja vue and she is refusing to go (unable to go) back into school.
We are at the point now where we have to accept that she just cannot manage school. She is an extremely bright girl and despite missing 2 years of school has not fallen behind. She has really high aspiration for her future and we don't want to waste this.
What I wanted to ask is does anyone know of any kind of alternative education that we can access for her (Online schooling etc). She is keen to learn and is really missing her learning, although not the school environment. Has anyone tried this with their child, or can anyone just give us some advice. Any help is much appreciated as we have come to the end of our tether.
Thanks for listening
Pauline

Hi Pauline. Firstly welcome to our forum. You are certainly not alone so please do not feel like that we all understand believe you me. So your daughter started refusing at 12 like my son. We too got him to go back to school for 6 months after 1 year off and yes it happened again. I have resigned myself tot he fact that he will not go back - in his last year now and the anxieties are getting better - we too have tried everything. What education is your daughter getting at the moment ? I'm not sure about any online schooling but will have a search for you. My son has a home tutor supplied by the local LEA - have you gone down that route ? Will post again if i find anything. By the way are you in the UK?

Stay strong you will find so much support on here.

Take care

Sarah xx

Hi Pauline and welcome,

Sorry to hear things are not going so well. It's a tough road, isn't it. We do all understand on here so don't hesitate to share your frustrations (hopefully not all frustration but some small steps too!).

A couple of months ago I posted the site below which is in the UK for kids 11-17 on-line. There might be others but this one looks quite good.

http://www.firstcollege.co.uk/

All the best,
Linda

Hi
Thanks for your responses. It's nice to find people who understand. Most people try to be sympathetic but I can see them thinking 'You're not tough enough, just send her to school, she's just playing you up'.
At the moment my daughter has only been off school for 2 weeks, but it's a familiar pattern that we are not going to repeat. She hasn't attended school on a regular basis since she was 10. She started off refusing for the odd day here and there, then the odd week and by year 7 she almost stopped altogether. She completely missed year 8 and 9 and returned last June for 5 weeks before the summer break. She managed the first 2 weeks back but has now started being unable to go again. We know that she just cannot manage it. She is desperate to be able to go but just cannot do it. It breaks my heart as she is missing out on not only her education but all the social life and experience that comes with going to school. She sees her older sister who's 18 going out all the time and I can see the sadness in her eyes that she's missing out.
We are in the UK (North London).
Whilst she was off school for 2 years, the only education access we were offered was 2 days per week for 2 hours each day at a library 5 miles away. I did manage to get her there but it wasn't easy as I work from home and she cannot manage the buses on her own. Even accessing that was a battle. It took a year and a half of battling to be offered that so she went a year and a half with no access to education at all. This is why we are now looking for an alternative as she cannot afford to miss any more learning. She has just started her GCSE's and she and us are keen for her to complete them.
We are looking into accessing some kind of internet schooling from home so that she can hopefully complete her exams next year. It is expensive but if we can afford it it will be worth it. If anyone could recommend a particular internet school I would be exremely grateful.

Thanks for your support. At last we have found people who understand.
Take care
Pauline x

Pauline - oh we do understand !! So if your daughter has been offered what 4 hours a week tuition is there no way this can transfered to home tuition ? My son had difficulty in accessing the centre so the tutor comes to our house for 2 x 2.5 hours per week and sets additional work inbetween ? Has your daughter been de-registered from her school or is hse still on their roll ? My son is still on school role, hence we get this service. My advise is to contact Parent Partnership - you sill have a local office and ask for their help they have done wonders for me.

Sarah x

hi Pauline,

This is actually another site I mentioned in a post and a better one.
http://www.firstcollege.co.uk/

Linda

Just found another two for you in the UK.
Linda

http://www.interhigh.net/about_interhigh.asp

http://www.briteschool.co.uk/

it really is a noghtmare isnt it- and unless you ve been through it - I dont think people understand

they say things like - you just have to make her..............

hope online schooling helps

When people say oh just make them go they have absolutley no idea what we are going through, I'd rather they didn't voice their opinions if they haven't go anything helpful to say !! = ooohh that was a little rant sorry !!

Sar xx

Haha You rant away Sarah. It makes me angry every time. Do people not think that if it was that easy then we wouldnt have a problem in the first place?
There... I've had a little rant too now lol
x

Hi Pauline,
My daughter stopped going to school last Christmas. To cut a long story short, we have had incredible support from Suffolk Education. By getting her a medical certificate through CAMHS we accessed 5 hours of home tuition per week, and she has just started at a pupil referral unit for one day a week. This is specifically for children with anxiety and medical difficulties (not behavioural). She is not accessing the curriculum there as she is only entitled to one day a week at the moment and they concentrate on life skills (she is year 8), but she is still registered with a school and they send work home. None of this is ideal, but attached to this unit is an internet based home education site for those children who will not attend any school. I do not know much more about it and do not know whether it is unique or whether there are others in the country. This may be something you might be able to access.
Good luck and keep strong.xx

Annabel - just like my son - he too went to a PRU with his 5 hours but he now has a tutor at home instead. I am about to see if we can get more hours from the school funding as he too is still on the school register.

Wish me luck !!

Sarah xx

By the way 5 hours one to one is worth at least 10 in a classroom !!