Hi I am just wondering if there are any other avenues left for me to explore! My son (14) is having counselling and has seen the GP several times now. His school is aware of his extreme anxiety but take the attitude that he has to go so tough! I have told the GP and the school that he has tried to jump from moving cars, out of his bedroom window and has also carved at his wrists rather than go to school but they didn't seem overly shocked. He has barely attended since beginning Year 10 in Sept and they have told me in no uncertain terms they expect him in on Monday 31st but I just know it's not going to happen. I've tried to talk to him about going in part time, or changing schools but he just shuts down and won't talk. I know the powers that be think I am being lame but I'd like to see them trying to force a strapping teenager into a car (or even out of bed!) My son just keeps saying he wants to be educated at home, but although I am a teacher myself (which makes me feel even worse about all this!) I cannot afford to give up my job. At the minute he will not consider any kind of middle ground and becomes so aggressive.
I had thought of contacting education welfare off my own back but the school is a new academy and have told me they don't deal with EW at county.
So sorry to go on again but does anyone have any experiences that may help? Thank you!!

Hi Dani,

Sorry you are feeling so frustrated. I don't know if I have much to offer you myself from so far away in Australia but I hope others on here can offer suggestions. Have you seen if any other posts on here are of use?
I am also a teacher - so I know exactly how you feel. I have not been able to go back to work, however, as I just could not keep a job with the amount of time I have been at home.
Many on here mention CAMHS and parent support etc which vary across the UK. Has your son been receiving Cognitive Behaviour Therapy or was the Psychologist just 'talking'. CBT is very beneficial for anxiety and older SR kids so it might be something your son can work better with.

A recent post by Andrea mentions legality of schools providing education even if the child is unable to attend and Sarah has lots of knowledge about getting tutors at home.
Is your son still socialising? Does he still have friends from school that he is able to keep in touch with? It is just so hard, isn't it....
Take care and hope someone else answers soon. Let us know how things are going.
Linda

Hi Dani

It breaks my heart to read stories like your's, if you read back over the threads you will see that we also have been to hell and back, way back , we were told to bring our son to school and his teacher would come out to the car and get him, we dragged him out of the car and forced him in, it broke my heart to see him so distressed and I was so ashamed of my self, I vowed never to do anything like that again and I never have. We have been to CAHMS, psychologist, CBT, hypnotist, Councillors, unfortunately none of that has worked for us, we are now looking for a psychologist privately to see if that makes a difference, I contacted the education board direct when I felt the school were being a bit 'difficult', if i didn't get satisfaction , then I asked to speak to their boss and so on, my son was then educated in a separate centre and for a short period had tutors at home, your son is legally entitled to an education, where ever that may be, you just have to keep fighting. It is a long hard road and a constant battle, but as you know your son isn't being awkward, he has a genuine fear, you will get all the suport you need on this site, keep strong.

Take care
Dorothy x

Hi Dani
I just wanted to say hi and that I fully understand what you are going through. I also live with the shame that I dragged my son (also 14 now)from the car one day and left him in the school grounds even though he was hysterical. His older brother was with him but the support worker hadn't met us at the car as arranged. My older son went into school to get the support worker and my younger son ran away while he was gone. 2 members of staff and my older son managed to find him and coax him back into school - we were told by the school that we had 'done the right thing by forcing him out of the car, but myself and my partner felt so distraught that we vowed never to do that again. We were relieved when the educational psychologist said that we should not put any pressure on him so after that, whenever anyone said we had to make him go, we quoted the ed psych and said that we were not prepared to put pressure like that on him. Social Services then visited us at home and said that we had a legal responsibilty to make him go to school - and advised us that the Children's Reporter could become involved. I am presently fighting at both local and senior government level to have my son's right to an education granted. I have also involved my local MSP, and have asked the Children's Commissioner for Scotland to investigate. Whilst the Education Laws in Scotland and England are different (although all children have a legal right to education), the Equality Opportunities and Human Rights Laws are the same UK wide. School refusers are classed as disabled under the law - due to the fact that they are suffering from mental, emotional or behavioural difficulties which prevent them from carrying out normal day-to-day activities - so they are protected under disability discrimination. I am currently exploring this avenue and will post to the forum when I know more. Keep your chin up, stay strong and know that you are among many going through the same thing x