hi everyone
just reading through posts after and very stressful week or so. when i read the posts on here it is good to know that other people know how i feel and what i have to deal with, if only the teachers had to go through this for a few days maybe they would understand how hard it is. j had a bad week last week i had to force her into school im not happy doing this it breaks my heart and i spend the rest of the day worrying about her i still dont know if this is the best thing to do it doent feel like it most of the time. not to bad the last couple of days spoke to the teacher yesterday who really didnt make me feel very good about the situation but she has agreed to back of with the pressure of lessons and let j take things slowly again and spend time in the studant welfare office to do her lessons hopefully when the pressure is off j will be able to move on. j seems so angry its not like her but it is coming up to the one year anniversary of her grandmother my mum dying suddenly. mind you the teacher seemed to think that j would use this as an excuse to not go to school but dont they think that she has the right to be a little upset at this time. shes still not sleeping well very hard to settle her down in bed at night worse than when she was little. she also hangs on to me most of the time and has to sit really close i do love her but it can be very draining. have an appointment with camhs soon so hopefully that will help who knows anyway maybe tommorrow will be a good day. im so sorry to go on and on but it is good to get it of my chest i only wish there was some way of meeting some of you to talk as its hard to write it all down thank you everyone hope everything is going well for all of you
best wishes
jennifer

Jennifer

I do know how hard it is, and if you need to talk i am more than happy for you to have my number, that goes for anyone.

If your daughter is happy working in the welfare room then why can't that continue ? The professionals baffle me at times !!

Keep smiling

Sarah xx

Hi Jennifer,

It is so hard, isn't it. And on top of that the lack of understanding.
Our kids might grab hold of excuses but we also have to keep in perspective - if our kids didn't have SR, in your case for example, of course you wouldn't feel like you would have to justify your daughter having feelings regarding her grandmother. We start to unfortunately throw our kids feelings into doubt as we feel the guilt that they have already missed so much school.

I am faced with a similar situation today. My close uncle passed away yesterday and this has had an effect on my son (also perhaps as it has had an effect on me so I am not behaving quite the same this week). My son did not go to school Monday and Tuesday. He seemed all over the place and angry and just couldn't get there. He went yesterday. But now he says he wants to stay home today as he feels sad. I started to feel guilty...'but he has already missed two days! He can't miss more etc' But perhaps I just have to accept that this week things are not the same and let it all slide.

SR kids are pretty sensitive to their feelings and our feelings. Like me, you will probably just need to let this time slide by and not worry whether or not the school believes your daughter. I am amazed they can be so cold in their response.

Take care and I hope you have a better day and week soon. There are good and bad ones. We are here for you - so talk to us anytime.
Linda

Hi Linda,

Sorry to hear the sad news about your uncle.

Lets things go this week, stay at home with your son, you need each other.

Hugs.

Sue and M xx

Thanks Sue...you have made me feel better.
Linda xx

hi sarah
thanks for the offer of your phone number i will keep that in mind.
school say that j cant study in the welfare room long term as this would mean that they are excluding her, i have said that they are not excluding her we want to be excluded. they have backed of the pressure this week so j has managed to go to school yesterday and today with not to much hassle

thanks again

jennifer

hi linda

im so sorry to hear about your uncle, i know when my mum died they said it was best to get back to normal as soon as possible i wonder if it was them they would feel the same, i dont think so. i think you are right just let this week go and give you son and yourself time to come to terms with your uncles death. i have decided that when in the next few weeks j does get upset about her gran i am not going to feel bad about not sending her to school as i know that if she feels as i do she would not want to be there she would want some time for her own thoughts. i think that the fact they we are a very close family and saw my mum alot makes it harder, i was told once that they could see that i was a very traditional mum whatever that means as if it was a bad thing i told them i do not appologise for that.
yesterday and today have been better after i had a word with the teacher and asked her back off a bit, it seems when j has a bit more control of what she does at school she will do more than if pushed.
sorry to woffle on.
my very best wishes to you and your son

jennifer

xx

THanks Jennifer. We are also a close family.
And hoping things work out further with the school stepping back. SOmetimes I also felt my son needed those days to recharge his batteries.
It does get easier over time when you loose a parent (lost my dad a number of years ago) but it is tough when you have other issues on top.
Take care. YOu are doing all the right things and are a good mum.
Linda

hi linda
things have been alot better since the school stepped back j has been in school the last few days not doing lessons but one step at a time.
i also lost my dad nearly 10 years ago so i know like you say it does take time.
hope everything is ok with you
jennifer