Hi Everyone
How does everyone deal with their friends and family? I have become so isolated as I am sick of the looks of horror from my friends when I start to tell them what is going on with my son so now I just avoid them. I am sure this is not healthy but I just don't have the energy to explain it to them anymore. When I do try and make them understand, I walk away feeling so low. I don't need to be told that they will never get a good job thanks! I guess I also think they are judging me.

anyway, my son is due to go into a lesson tomorrow for the first time since the first day of term in September so fingers crossed. I am suprisingly feeling quite calm about it although I have just had a lecture from my son's therapist telling me if it doesn't happen, we will try something else so chill out! Roll on tomorrow!

sophy

Hi Sophy, I have learnt to count to ten on occasions rather than saying something I might regret. Mum and Dad didn't understand at the start but then I'd asked my dad to help me try and get my son into school and it was only when he witnessed first hand how my son is with sr that he knew then what we'd been going through. With others I have heard their comments and it does hurt but its their ignorance of the condition so I do try and explain the best I can. Any wider knowledge of SR to others can only be a good thing! When things get on top of me, a good walk with my dog recharges my batteries and cope with life. Also just taking one day at a time is my motto. Hope everything goes ok for your son tomorrow! We are waiting for help with my son's education .I hope he also has the strength to cope with whatever is offered to him .
Take care
Lindy x

Hi Lindy and Sophy,

God its hard isnt it! I found the pressure from outsiders was as great as the stress the professionals threw upon me. I felt I was continually having to justify myself. My dad didnt understand either until he saw it one day. Thats the day he began to support us completely!

This may seem a strange thing to say but when I finally accepted that my daughter just wasnt able to go to school no matter what I did, thats when it got easier.

Eventually I accepted the situation myself and that was when I decided not to bother wasting my time and energy telling others. M. and I were dealing with it, so if others didnt like it that was their problem, not ours.
Its a tough stance to take but every day is tough when you are a parent to a SR.

I hope both your children have a good week. Just remember that our children are not like other children, they WILL get through it though. They will just go along a different route to others.

Big Hugs.

Sue and M xx

Hi Sophy,

It is certainly hard with friends and family. I felt like you did for awhile but can relate to what Lindy and Sue have said too. I got sick of explaining and seeing and hearing the response. When my mum saw what I had to deal with she accepted straight away. Other family members have been varied but eventually over the years have come to accept that there is obviously and issue more than me just not sending him!! It is their ignorance that we have to ride above.
Explaining that your son has a complete meltdown or anxiety attack might help. Mentioning 'refusing to go to school' tends to get a negative response.
Focus on the anxiety part. Mention if it effects your son in other aspects of his life and point out any contradictions (ie confident when they see him sometimes etc) as this is the nature of anxiety and especially panic attack anxiety. Doesn't matter if your son doesn't actualy have 'panic attacks' it could help put the anxiety in perspective. I have talked about anxiety to family and it helped them understand.

I also originally used to isolate myself - I honestly felt completely alone and there was no forum in those days! I thought I was going insane.

Now that this has been going on so long I realise that I reached back out to others at some point and just kept my mouth shut or just never mentioned it or found there were in fact those who understood anxiety. Some people come out of the woodwork when you least expect. I now have a couple of friends who seem to understand well. I have others that are no longer really friends I guess as it just got too difficult and when I see them - I just ignore their comments about 'kids will push those buttons' or 'I'd just drag him there' etc (you'd think they'd give up saying these things after awhile but they have a very determined mindset because they do not have a child like this nor do they have a child with a difference.

I found over the years meeting parents at the school I became closer to those with kids with autism -we had lots to talk about regarding bringing up a child that did not fit the norm.
Try not to keep too isolated but these friends might turn around or they might disappear and new stronger one's appear that you really need - they are true friends. And we are always here for you :)
Linda