Just felt like sharing this moment as my son reaches the end of Primary School. He didn't want to go to the ceremony tonight nor the dinner afterwards because he was so anxious about it but I am so proud that he got there - shook hands with the principal - and has now gone with his friends and all the other kids to have dinner. All the parents were proud of their kids....but I was just so proud of him knowing how hard it has been for him and how his anger all day today was a result of his anxiety in anticipation of tonight.

Unfortunately his dad saw the negatives ...why weren't you in the Grade 6 photo...why weren't you on camp and in the group photo for that...what do you mean you didn't go to school today? (I had decided only to do one battle today and skip the battle about going on a school excursion and focus on the graduation).

His dad said he felt he should show his disappointment in these things as my son has to realise that this is what happens when you miss school. He also said he thought that we should not talk to our son as if he does have a problem as he felt he was just using it as an excuse. I wonder where this was coming from? It took me by surprise as it just did not seem the night for negatives at all from my perspective. But then I go through the negatives when they happen perhaps? But I know trying to focus on the positives is just so important. And my son already knows by looking at the photo and not seeing himself that he missed out on something special. So best to make light of the matter I thought.

I had thought his dad was beginning to accept how things are but now I have my doubts. I think his attitude makes the problem worse because my son always feels he is a disappointment to him. My son is never going to be at school all of the time to get the photos, receive the certificates etc...but who cares - those feelings should be in the past! Of course I'd love him to have the joy of being part of many of the activities but there are only so many barriers he can break down in a week and in a year. He has many things to learn as well as deal with anxiety.

Sorry....raving on a bit here -- but feeling frustrated!!
Take care everyone. Christmas is around the corner. Wishing you all a lovely Christmas with family and friends and hoping that the new year is a new start for all of us in some small way. I will be checking the forum on and off over the next few weeks so if you want to rant and rave....I'll listen :-)
Linda

hi Linda
Could'nt notreply. I've read all the posts on this site. Have an SR (daughter) myself.
But I want to say well done to your son on his graduation. A BIG step!
I can understand his dads negativity. I think it stems from disappointment, maybe a little sadness. Human beings all want to be the same, have the same as everyone else seems to have. I know, I've been there with those thoughts.
But you're right to focus on the positive, life can be tough enough without negative thinking as well.

Wishing you all a Happy Christmas and a Happy New Year.

Thanks Marti. Nice to have your comments and perspective on the negatives. Hope you are managing to work out some positives with your daughter as well.
All the best for Christmas to you too.
Linda

Hi Linda - I don't really mention too much to M's Dad, not sure if he is really understands or is interested. When we were at the height of our problems and really needed support he would turn his phone off and not return my calls, and when he did he would say what I am supposed to do 600 miles away !!

OOhh but we have made it through and you will too i promise, you are a fantastic mum.

Lots of Love for a Happy Christmas

Sarah xx

Thanks Sarah- and you are also a great mum. Wishing you lovely Christmas and new year.
Linda xx

Linda

Well done to your son, u should be proud of him and of your self, hope you have a great christmas.

Take care
Dorothy x

Thanks Dorothy. Hope you have a lovely Christmas too.
All the best,
Linda x