Hi guys, I haven't posted in a while, and reading through some of the posts on here has had me in tears, as the experiences are all so similar. I don't know what to do next - after a year of non-attendance, and no provision of home tuition despite my lengthy battle with the local authority, and still no date for initial appointment with CAMHS, the authority have now decided to provide an outreach support worker to help my 14 year old work through some subjects. This would be great were it not for the fact that the authority insists that he goes and meets with the support worker in a neutral venue. They are fully aware that he has only left the house once in the last 5 months - and even then he had to be forced as we were going away for a night, but the authority wont allow the support worker to come into our home to teach - even though she teaches other pupils in their homes. Their attitude is that if he wants to learn he has to make an effort to leave the house - how do they know he isn't agorophobic for goodness sake? So if he can't overcome the issues that prevented him from going to school in the first place, he isn't entitled to receive any education, despite this being in breach of Scottish legislation. Supporting letters from GP and CAMHS seem to have made the authority even more determined to prevent my son's legal rights being recognised. They say that staying at home is not good for him, whereas I argue that staying at home with no education is even worse for him. The social problems should surely be addressed by CAMHS, whereas education should stick to providing education. So when he refuses to attend the neutral venue meetings, they will say he simply doesn't want to be helped, so they will be punishing him for having an as yet undiagnosed condition. The hypocrisy and barminess of the situation makes me want to scream. Still at least it's not the 60s - 80's, when school refusers in Scotland were institutionalised - such places were shut down years ago thankfully.

Oh my god, you poor woman!

I'm lost for words.

The world's gone mad!

Hang in there.

Sue and M. xx

Hi Andrea,

I felt so sad reading your frustration and despair. It is bad enough living with SR, let alone having the authorities treat you like that. There is probably some direct advice others in the UK can give on here but I was wondering, in the meantime whilst you await a diagnosis, if you can't get a diagnosis or support letter re the agoraphobic tendencies from the local GP?

Many SR kids do have difficulty leaving the house. And getting them out is easier said than done, as you know! I have managed by going on some drives where he knows he doesn't have to get out of the car (it's a start anyway). I was told to keep doing small things and insisting.
Your son really needs someone to come to the house to help him with his SR and agoraphobic tendencies. Have they ever offered this?

I was talking to someone recently who suffered from agoraphobia and they said that their recovery came from very small steps at a time. She said at first she wanted no help as she was also depressed. With help she had to do things like - walk to the door and open it. Then walk to the door - open it and step outside etc. So the authorities should know that your son can't just go to a neutral place!!

Someone on the forum quoted a UK document that states that every child is entitled to an education or something along those lines. You could take this up with your local MP - Sarah found that was helpful. She might have some more advice too as she and many others on here have lots of dealings with the authorities - and all very varied.

Wishing you well and hoping you get some real support soon.
Linda xx

Andrea - like Sue i am lost for words this is absolutley awful - again no understanding. My son didn't leave the house for months, and he wouldn't be able to meet a tutor else where, surely this is neglegence ? discrimination against a disability ? I don't know what to suggest except write to your MP, ours was so helpful. My son now gets a home tutor but we still at times struggle with this, and my son is nearly 16 !!

The laws in Scotland do seem to differ form us in the South, but i will have a good think about how i would handle this, just got a couple of issues myself to deal with at the moment, but i will not forget.

Stay strong Andrea, we are all thinking of you.

Sarah xx

Andrea

We also live in Scotland, my son did get his tuition at a local education centre, but there were times when he couldn't go so we asked if he could be taught at home, education department weren't happy about it as they said it would just encourage him to stay at home, we wouldn't accept this and pushed for a trial period at home but it was a hit or a miss, sometimes he would be fine but other times he wouldn't even come out of his room when the tutor was here, it might be worth trying to get a trial period.

Take care
Dorothy x

Thanks everyone for your words of support, it is much appreciated. I've now got an MP looking into it - although MPs have limited power as Education comes under Scottish Government and Westminster don't have a say (confusing I know); I'm also waiting for the Scottish Government to decide if I'm correct in stating that the local authority are in breach of a statutory duty; I'm going to email my constituency MSP this evening and the 6 list MSPs for this area, and am now involving the Equality Opportunities and Human Rights Commission as they feel I may well have a case in terms of discrimination against a disability. For anyone in the UK whose child WAS receiving home tuition and now isn't, due to authorities changing the rules, the Commission have advised me that making such changes could well be an act of discimination - as when changes are made, it has to be shown that the change doesn't place the individual at a disadvantage. Some of the dreadful stories on here about previously home tutored kids being dragged by social services to 'neutral venues' - it would be well worth the parents getting in touch with the Commission to follow this up.

I hadn't considered agoraphobia as a possibility until recently, when I saw the article someone had cited in response to Jezebel's post about whether SRs leave the house at all. I too had always thought agorophobia concerned only open spaces, but now I see that it covers a much more diverse range of fears, I'm interested in pursuing that, as we have to deal with lifts, bridges, public transport, refusal to go on a ferry or a plane etc. What I don't get is the the Council don't give a fig about how difficult it is to get my son to leave his room half the time, never mind the house - and how do they know they're not going to traumatise him by trying to force him into going elsewhere to be educated. Dorothy, we've had similar experiences when Ed Psych used to visit - sometimes my son wouldn't come downstairs and other times he's be absolutely fine - these are the things the Authorities refuse to see - every day is different. There's no chance of a trial period as the Council have firmly dug their heels in and even have the ed psych and the additional support needs team (who I thought were meant to provide - um - additional support - on their side (but then they're all on the local authority payroll - it's like they've all been brainwashed). Let's hope the Government will show some balls and uphold the law, and hopefully CAMHS, not being council run, will be more helpful.

Linda, it might have been my own post re the legislation you were thinking of - I'm biting my nails to see if the law actually means anything - as the financial burden of having to provide every SR in the country with home tuition could be prohibitive - but the authorites should have thought of that when they set up their systems. IMO they've deliberately left SRs dangling with little or no help, as we're largely anonymous and stigmatised and frowned upon. When the law was changed in 2000 - yes, 12 years ago! to ensure that kids absent from school due to ill health received adequate tuition, the Government issued very extensive guidelines to the local authorities on how to implement the law. Some authorites have done an admirable job and others have tossed the rule book in the bin. Of course guidance is just guidance as opposed to an actual law, but it's 24 pages long and was supposed to be taken seriously. If anyone's interested, it's viewable here http://www.scotland.gov.uk/Resource/Doc/158331/0042883.pdf Pages 19-21 discuss a case-study of a school refuser called Steven. I'm maybe in danger of repeating stuff I've said on here before, but some of this may be useful to anyone else battling for their kids education rights - and the more people who are made aware that they have legal rights, the more the authorities will have to sit up and take note of SRs.

So grateful that this forum exists; I'd go mad if it wasn't for the knowledge that there are plenty of others living with and trying to comprehend SR. Will continue to update here re. progress (or lack of!)

Love to all
Andrea x

Hi Andrea,

Frustrating and interesting post, Andrea.There appears to be such a ridiculous set of red tape in the UK in relation to what rules are set in motion and what education should be provided. And yet it seems the authorities don't all know what they are talking about either in relation to what is the actual rule. But you are right - SR is frowned upon - it doesn't fit the usual 'disabilities' and so they just want to force us all back into the square.

When I have described the situation in the UK to my mother who came out from England over 40 years ago - she couldn't believe it and said it didn't sound much different than when the truancy board used to come round the the homes to check if all the kids were at school. There seemed to be little sympathy if you were off school sick or for any other reason. Support systems have come an awful long way but perhaps attitudes still have a way to go, especially in regard to what SR really is.

As far as I know in Australia what we lack is the support systems in terms of tutors being arranged etc. But we have no persecution ...unless you happen to be indigenous and then that is another ridiculous story that shows total lack of understanding of the situation from both government and authorities.

Let us know how things go. We are always here for you.
Take care,
Linda xx