Well, i have thought long and hard and have decided not to make my son go into school tomorrow for an exam. For several nights we have survived on very little sleep because he is so frightened about going back into school tomorrow. It was so bad on Saturday night that he couldn't stand being in the house at 2am and started to walk down the road - it must have been bad because this is something he hasn't done day or night for a long long time. At 5am this morning i finally get him to go to bed and he just couldn't get up for his tutor this morning at 9am. He isn't sitting watching tv or playing x box til this time in a morning but going over and over about how he just can't face it. There is no way i can make him go even if i wanted to, but have taken the decision to withdraw him from the exam - it's such a shame as he has completed 75% of the paper and i am certain he would have done exceptionally well. I did speak with the osycologist about it and his reply was " the professionals just don't get it" to be fair the school have been really good about it. As parents of SR children do you think i have made the right decision or am i just giving in ?

I can't cry anymore and my eyes are so sore as i write this, in fact i just want to go outside and shout and scream.

I would really appreciate your views on my decision, and you won't offend me if you don't agree i would rather you were honest.

Thank you all for being here for me, i so wish we could all get together.

Sar x

Sarah,
No one can judge your decision making. You have done what you have felt is right for your son and that's all you can do. Been a lousy week here with the lack of sleep and like you I know that every thing goes round in their head . just too much for them to deal with at the minute. Your son has come so far and has worked so well that no matter what ,that will stand him in good stead.
Go out and shout!! Or punch a pillow!! Just get it all out....big hugs honey!!
Take care
love Lindy x

Lindy
Thank you xx

Sarah,

You can only do what you feel is best for your son. It is just never ending isn't it. As everyone else says, your son's mental health is so much more important. But it is so hard to take this advice when it is your own child. We are constantly thinking that we are letting our children 'get away with it' but that is just because we are told again and again that we are being weak parents. They haven't a clue....

I just don't understand why the authorities pay for a home tutor because of your son's fear of school but can't organise your son to go into an exam centre to take the exam and not a school. I just don't get it.

I am constantly being told that our children will get through this but in their own time. Hormones have so much to do with this and they will settle eventually. All we can do is be supportive. Try and get some me time sarah, you must be feeling so exhausted with the sleepless nights but tomorrow is a new day..

Sending you lots of love and support.

Sophy

Thank you Sophy, only a SR parent understands. I have cried buckets again this morning as i called school to tell them. The new teacher incharge of inclusion is an absolute god send, he is so patient and caring and has said that they will find him another slot, will even go in at 7.30am in a morning just to help my son out. He said that we are not wasting his time at all, and he will do everything to help - what an absolute super star, if only we had had him from the beginning i think he would have worked wonders.

He also said that my son's wellbeing is more important than education, and he sent him his very best wishes.

Oh well, onwards and upwards.

Thank you so much for your support it means the world to me.

Sarah xxxx

Sarah,
That teacher sounds super to be even suggesting the earlier times for him and putting plans in place to help his progress.Send him over here ....please!!!
As always take care,
love Lindy x

Sarah

You are not giving in, you are doing the best you can. I know exactly where your coming from, if M had thought for one minute that he could have done this then he would have, when R english teacher said that it would be a waste of time him sitting his exam as he would fail, we gave R the option of withdrawing, but he said no as he had worked for it and he would go sit it.

You know that you have made the right decision, so don't beat yourself up.

Take care
Dorothy x

hi
You made the right decision, Sarah. Your sons mental health has to come first.
What a wonderful teacher the school has. If he could only be cloned!!
Best of luck.

Martii

This teacher, well he's not actually a teacher he is in charge of the inclusion centre has been absolutley wonderful and his attitude to the rest of my son's exams is tha the will still enter him, and if he can't do it then he can't, but he would rather try and my son not do them than not give him the opportunity at all. I just wish we had had him all the way along !!

My son has just gone out with 3 friends oooooohhhh now that will make such a difference to him

Love to you all xx

Sarah,

Thats brilliant, I hope he has a great time and try not to worry about him - hard i know. What a godsend this man is. If only there were more around!

Things can turn around quite quickly can't they. As we always say, its such a rollercoaster ride.

sophy

It's true that the professionals don't, and never will understand. Teachers try to tell me they understand me but how can they? They liked school, they went back there. There's no point listening to the professionals if you don't listen to your son first; the only person who knows how he feels is him.

Hi Sarah,

I have only just read your post. My heart goes out to you. I know how torn you must have felt. You have done the right thing. Your son's wellbeing, as others have already said, is so much more important.
The guy from the inclusion centre sounds terrific - that is what we all need! And as you say - you wished you'd had him from the start. I often feel if we'd had someone like that early on we might not have had this drag on so long with lack of understanding and all that blame. But not everyone is always going to understand - I think there will just be the odd gem who shines through. Hoping he can keep helping your son to get his confidence back. You must have been so worried when your son went out walking.

How does your son feel about having not made it to the exam? Have you been able to reduce his guilt? Guilt can eat you away as you know so hoping you can both throw that out the window and know that trying was good enough and there might be another chance - but if there isn't. It doesn't matter. Something else will turn up at some stage.
Take care - thinking of you :-)
Linda xx