Well we are sitting here having finished our revision for my son's exam at school tomorrow - one vey proud mother.

Sarah

Well done to you both, Sarah! Such a big step. I can feel your joy from here! What brought about the change I wonder?
Take care -
Linda xx

Thanks honey - in 6 hours time it will all be done, just hope that he can do it, although we have had a bit of a rough week. My father ( we has taken the place of the boys father for the last 8 years ) was rushed into hospital on Tuesday evening with septicimia a very anxious time for us all to say the least, and to add insult to injury it doesn't look as though ratty will see the day out !!

Hey ho, onwards and upwards !!

Sar xx

45 minutes and counting - he is wobbling slightly and my anxiety levels are through the roof, and poor ratty passed away at lunch time.

Will post later and let you know if he managed it - if he does i am sure you will hear my screams of delight everywhere !!! xx

After a sheer panic attack and being sick we didn't make it

Hi Sarah,
What a week you have had ! You are so strong throughout everything.
Thinking of all your wee family
Take care,
love Lindy x

Oh dear Sarah....what a day for you. And your nerve ends must be completely frazzled. What a strain that must have been for you to go through that second by second with him. So draining. I feel so sorry for you and your son. But he tried his best and that is something to hang onto. He tried to get there - he didn't give up in the run up to the exam this time.
I know it must be so hard to know what to do now. He must feel awful. Just give him some big hugs and I'm sending some hugs for you!
Take a step back and deep breath and see what happens. There will be other opportunities perhaps of a different kind.
If only we had a magic formula for when they get to that total anxiety meltdown. These are big things to deal with and if our children don't yet have the skills for smaller things then I guess taking an exam is just so hard. Perhaps as he gains strength in other things he will one day be able to sit and exam but right now - that is not possible for him.
Take care Sarah and with Ratty dying - no wonder things fell apart.
Linda xx

Sarah,

I am so sorry to hear this, you must feel so defeated but we all know you did all you could. Have a good cry and take a deep breath - tomorrow is a new day. We all know exactly how you feel (having a crap time myself I can tell you) so sending you and your son lots of love and hugs,

sophyx

Thank you all - my son tried his his very best he really did and just couldn't do it, but i am proud of his efforts. I have to say i didn't think i could feel this low i never thought it could get any worse especially as his younger brother refused this morning !!

Sar xx

Sarah,
You will feel better I promise, think how far you have come and soon it will be all over - what do GCSE's mean anyway. I think in todays climate, qualifications are all changing. I was listening to the radio yesterday and they had a chap on who had got a double first in engineering from an east end uni who can't get a job as it wasn't an oxbridge uni degree. All the jobs are going to people with work experience or good degrees from a list universities. We had a meeting this week with my sons headmaster who practically burst into tears when we told him we going to withdraw him as we just cannot carry on like this. He then went ont o say education is not about GSCEs anymore etc. etc. Its so hard to take this advice however when it is your own child. His headmaster was due to come to our house last night to talk to my son. He wants to help him - he said he never has to go into lessons again and he has some ideas to help him. And guess what, my son had the meltdown of all meltdowns and locked himself in his bedroom so we cancelled the meeting. He is also refusing to do any work at home whatsoever so not sure what we are going to do now.

I too have had problems with my daughter who is in the year below my son, she is begging to be homeschooled!!!! I did let her have a day off this week and I tried to explain why it isnt a good idea for her - look how unhappy her brother is etc... My son joined in and said he would give anything to be in her position. She did say to me later that she would never do what my son is doing as she can see how it rips us apart...

So sarah, life is so hard sometimes and If you think about all the things happening in your life right now, your father being unwell, ratty dying, your sons anxiety and your younger son playing up, you probably don't know where to turn. Its hardly suprising you feel so low.

Sorry for going on and on but just want to let you know we understand and are thinking of you....

sophyx

Sophy thank you for that - it is so nice to have someone on my side. My son too says to his younger brother he wishes he could go to school and how lucky he is, but my youngest son does use SR as a bit of a weapon at times to get his own way - he knows how it worries me.

Anyway - well not too bad at all now - my youngest went into school later this morning so all well there for the moment. M went to college after 4 weeks of not going, quite anxious driving there, but went in and had a good day. They want him to go in an additional half day to help other students with problems !!!! WOW. Dad is being discharged from hospital in a while and we have snow - so i am one happy mum now.

I just don't know how anyone can go from rock bottom to being on quite a high within a matter of hours - is there something wrong with me ?

Well i hope you all have a good weekend, and half term if on the way.

Lots of love

Sarah T xxxx

Hi Sarah,

Nothing wrong with you! You are on that roller coaster ride with SR. And remember you are a good mum.
Sorry to hear about all your troubles and concerns. Life can be really tough and you seem to be copping the lot lately. I do hope things improve as they have already today - but those small steps are sometimes hard to keep taking and we stumble. You are back up which is good to hear.
Take care - a window of opportunity will turn up somewhere.
Linda xx

Sophy,

Sorry to hear how things are going for you at the moment. I think your son having a meltdown before Principal visiting is understandable. A Principal visiting would be pretty nerve wracking for the best of us. My son used to have a meltdown when the psychologist decided to visit the house. He said he felt trapped.
That is so nice that the Principal is interested in your son. Perhaps on neutral ground might work better - but even then - probably too hard. Perhaps the Principal can meet with you and talk about some possible options?
It must be so hard with siblings - I can see how they would get caught up in the environment sometimes and as Sarah says, sometimes use it as well.
Take care and hopefully you will know soon deep down in the bottom of your heart what is the best way forward. Thinking of you.
Linda xx

Sarah

Sorry not been of for last week,keep strong and remember to take one day at a time, M is still doing really well, you have a lot to be proud of. Sometimes for whatever reason we are challenged a bit more than usual, that's the time you can look to friends for support.

Take care
Dorothy x

Dorothy - and i am so grateful to all my friends especially the ones on here. M has decided that he doesn't want to do his apprentership but to go to college full time to do his GCSE's ! I would be over the moon if he could achieve this, but we have been here so many times. I have told him to keep his options open until he has been and had a look around. If he does manage it it will put behind him all his school problems and he still gets an education and the education expereince.

He is again out with his friends and is doing well - they have gone sledging. His anxieties did raise it's head yesterday as we were driving on the motorway through snow blizzards - but saying that most people wouldn't like it. We got back home and he went out with his friends to the park, but when i drove back through the village we got stuck in the snow and had to be rescused by a couple of guys - tyres spinning the lot but as i said to him it's just another life expereince and if the worst happened we would just leave the car and walk home.

Anyway one more week until our half term - not sure if the school here will be open tomorrow so that may give some of our children a extra days' break.

Sarah xx

Hi Sarah,

Sounds very cold and icy! We just had 35 ºC yesterday!
The really good thing is your son has some ideas of what he might want to do. The worry is always when they have no idea and give up thinking ahead at all. I hope he keeps thinking of what he feels he might achieve best and give it a try.
Hope you don't get too snowed in! A day off school - now wouldn't my son love that! No wonder he wanted to move to Scotland : - )
Linda xx

Hi Linda,

Thank you for your message. Like Sarah, I had an awful week last week but things feel more positive at home this week. I agree that this rollercoaster is just so hard to live with sometimes!

And you seem to be doing a brilliant job with the start of secondary school. It is such a big change and so many new routines to put in place. I think you and your son need to give yourselves a huge pat on the back for coping so far. I bet you are exhausted everyday once he has managed to get into school! Do you think he is enjoying it?

Sophy