I have a 14 year old daughter who started to school refuse when she was 11 as a result of seeing a traumatic incident when a boy fainted in class. We worked hard to get her back into school and the school were very supportive. Eventually we moved her to a much smaller school and she settled in really well although she still had some anxiety attacks based on the fear that someone might faint again and she couldn't go into assemblies where she felt she couldn't get out.

She has just started her GCSE and found it impossible to do her first exam in the hall with the others - she was taken out and allowed to take the xam on her own in another room. To get the exam board's approval for this we had to get a letter from our GP who told us that she'd write a letter this time but that we needed to start giving our daughter 'tough love' - so we took her advice and told our daughter that she had to sit the next exam in the hall - as a result she has virtually stopped going to school. Last week she managed 20 minutes a day - today she missed her maths GCSE. We're seeing a lovely new psychiatrist, but I know there are no miracle cures.

Can anyone give me a good story - can my daughter get better? At the moment we feel so lost and unable to help her and so fearful of what the future will hold for her...

Hi - i am so sorry to hear your story, but your daughter will get better. My son's anxiety was the fear of being sick at school, so the more he panicked the more he felt sick !!

I feel for your daughter that she had to do her exams in the hall - something my son couldn't cope with, and our GP was very supportive - infact he wrote a very lengthy letter / report to the school regarding very very slow reintergration. I also feel for you as you followed what you thought was good advise but unfortunatly tough love and SR just don't mix - our children suffer on a daily basis and can't just snap out of it. It will get better but your daughter needs all the love and support you can offer. We all understand.

Take care Sar x