School today have told me to stop dragging my son to school.They told me to contact EWO officer and tell them about it.Will be going to the gp tomorrow to update him as well.

hi Cathy,

Sounds like the school is supporting you now? That is good news.
Let us know how things go.
Linda

Hi Cathy

Was the doctor sympathetic? When is your appointment with the EWO?
Linda

The doctor said I am between the devil and the deep blue sea.He said he wasn't sure if it was a good idea to let my son have a choice whether to go or not as he said then I would probably wouldn't get him back again.The EWO has failed to return my call.So I still still forcing him to go but a lot more nicely if that is possible.

He cried today ,he is so scared of one teacher.The senco was going to see if she could move him into her group but didn't really want to as it looks like he has control of the situation.

I have been emailing and writing to everyone involved including his pead (as he has autism) to just try to cover me if I can't get him anymore.I can't believe I am doing this to my son , would i get prosecuted if I can't get him there or would they know I am doing everything I can

Cathy

I think for your own peace of mind as well as your son's, you need to stop, it's not doing either of you any good. We were threatened with prosecution but it was never followed through.

Take care
Dorothy x

Hi Cathy,

As Dorothy has mentioned, a few others on here have been threatened with prosecution but it hasn't been taken to court. A couple of years ago there was a case in the UK where a family were taken to court but the judge threw it out. Let anyone who threatens prosecution know about that.

With my son, when he felt I was working 'with' him and not against him - then he started to trust I wasn't going to force him every day but that it also was in his interest to try and go. The idea that 'he is controlling the situation' in regard to a particular teacher is an unfair assumption from their point of view and so frustrating to hear, isn't it. If we didn't like a particular boss...how long would we put up with it and what would it do to our health?

If he can't change teacher, do you think that particular teacher might benefit from meeting with you and hearing your explanation of SR and autism and that exceptions do need to be made with some kids.

In the final year of Primary, the psychologist and myself met with the principal and his teacher and the pscyhologist outlined very clearly what SR was and what it meant for me and for my son. That was the first time 'I' felt in control of the situation!

I tend to agree with Dorothy in regard to just stop trying to get him to school but on the other hand, with autism, I can see you are probably keen for your son to also socialise But if the socialisation is all negative - can he get that socialisation outside of school somewhere?

All our kids are different and I have kept trying to get my son to school (without dragging) and it has worked. Having said that - we go through patches of non attendance and then the awful stress of trying to get him back again - and he does go back. He is off now with a cold and I know that unlike other kids - it won't be a couple of days missed - he probably will not be able to go back this week. It is something I have had to come to live with and try not to worry about or keep loosing my cool about getting him back. You will also find what works for you.

It is hard, isn't it! But you have to go by your gut feeling sometimes and observe how your son is coping or not with your expectations that he continue to go. A time spent not forcing him might give him the strength to also start trusting you - so that he knows if he just can't face the day - you are not going to force him. They need to trust us as we are the only ones who really do understand them.
Take care, (woops - another long post!)
Linda xx

ITS SUCH A NIGHTMARE - you get the advice that must MAKE THEM go in but thats easier said than done

the first big episode my dd had was when she was 11 - I could just about carry her in but we were under so much pressure of people telling me to make her I did force her and the results were awful

the second episode starting dec 2010 she was 13 and too big to force and remembering the aggrssion forcing her triggered and how much I got hurt I waited for CAMHS input and didnt force her - and we waitd and waited (reffered to SS and the legal system threatened with a hearing etc) - it took 9 months to get any input - and then finally they experienced what happens when she is so scared and people force her - this instigated no one allowed to come to our house for three weeks, police investigation and admission to the MH unit

there is no answer - until you have dealt with SR, you cant understand

thinking of you - its all such a nightmare