My son (aged 13) hasn't been in school since January. We tried a private afternoon school center which was great at first but then the magic wore off. He is still registered at school so next week they have arranged 6 hours of home tutoring. He knows that if he doesn't cooperate he won't be able to go back to school next year and then we will home school him. This is fine since my husband works from home and has flexi hours and has offered to do all sorts of fun courses with him. The school psy. insists that he has a anxiety problem that has to be dealt with by more therapy . We have been through so many different types of therapy including medication and nothing works! This brings me to my question. Do our kids really have a medical/psy condition or is it just that they are different to others. My son learns when he's interested in something but just cannot be told what to learn and how to learn. Many people say - don't worry, a lot of successful and famous people didn't have a proper education. Correct, a lot of kids don't like school but they go anyway. It's like they have an automatic button. I think my son just doesn't work on automatic! Is that wrong? Does that mean that he is psychologically impaired?

Hi Yael,

You certainly raise some interesting questions. I have had similar thoughts over time. I tend to agree that our kids are just not on automatic. The 'shy' kid seems to be able to force themselves to go through the motions and hide when possible. Our kids don't seem 'shy' they are quiet in fearful situations but not shy in others - so cannot be called shy all round - and something just stops them dead in their tracks....and it seems anxiety can do that . I also often question why and how> Why are our kids like this? Is it pesticides (like they have come up with some research into autism to suggest this could well be the case) or is there something else happening within or is it the way our society is today with so many expectations and 'outcomes'.

There is certainly something 'different' about our sons/daughters but with all this rush to diagnose kids these days it is hard to know if they are just those out of the ordinary children or potentially suffering long term mental health issues. We are made to believe the latter.

Seems we have highly sensitive and intelligent children who may or may not have long term mental health issues. Not sure what that means for us in terms of school. Your options sound really good at the moment - the tutoring if it works and your husband so willing to give the home schooling a go. Let us know how things pan out and what options you are able to feel are working for your son.
What medication was he on and is he still on it or did you decide not to follow that?
Take care,
Linda xx

The automatic notion is actually my husband's and I posted it here because I was interested in your comments. I am actually very mainstream (I'm a civil servant!) which makes it more difficult for me but since my son has hubby's genes plus his father's encouragement, I realized it's best not to keep hitting my head against a brick wall and accept (both of them!) Hubby did get me thinking though - who says school and what is learnt in school is the best way to educate our kids? On the other hand they have to learn to be part of society and not to run away from things when they are too pressured or can't be top of the class. I listen to my husband and he can be quite persuasive and then I get the school psy. telling me that I am damaging my child by not sending him to therapy and "eventually he could end up not wanting to leave the house"! He took risperdal but apart from putting on weight it didn't have any effect as all the other therapies we tried.

Hi - i really don't know what the answer is. Once professional says one thing and then another will say something different.

many children who are homeschooled do very well and this doesn't necessarily mean he won't want to leave the house, although this did happen to my son but that problem was there anyway.

If you are happy with your husband home tutoring i think it is a fantastic idea and wish you all the very best.

Good luck

Sarah xx