Hi,
I posted a few times earlier in the year but for security reasons had to delete them- but I wanted to give you all an update anyway.
My youngest son- now 16- hardly went to school for the last three years- giving no reasons- just refusals.
He refused to go in for his mock GCSE's and in his last term only went in to sit his actual exams- but did no revision that we could see. He ended up with one B and about 4 C's as well as lower grades!
Since he took his exams he stayed in his room on his computer all summer, then one day a few weeks ago announced he had chosen a course and applied to a separate college all by himself ( not the sixth form of his old school)- and has attended every day since the beginning of term! A great burden has been lifted in respect to his education ( we still have behavioural challenges)
The school was not supportive at all to us and just saw him as lazy and would not listen to our concerns that there must be a reason behind the refusals ( and his increasingly odd ways and violent mood swings)
To cut a long story short- we now recognise that he has Asperger traits and characteristics and strongly suspect he actually has had Aspergers since a wee child.
Hindsight is great- and now I cant see how I missed all the signs but I would just urge you all to have a think about your children and see if being on the Autistic Spectrum might account for their school refusals too. Take care.

Thanks for your update. That is good news. Interesting about the Asperger traits too. I know many of the symptoms of anxiety overlap - so it is very hard to tell. What were the things that made you think your son may have had Aspergers from a child? If there were any social interactions that come to mind - what type of things? Can Aspergers ever be 'mild'? What is the difference I wonder between high functioning Autism and Aspergers? Is it the tendency to be able to focus on one subject indepth - recall dates - excellence with numbers etc that sets them apart?

You must be so relieved!! Great to hear. Thanks for sharing.
Linda

Hi

Good news - i have suspected Aspergers for years but no one took me seriously, i will try again to get a diagnosis.

Sarah xx

My 12 yr old son has recently been diagnosed with high functioning ASD (probably Aspergers, but they don't seem to be diagnosing Aspergers now - just classic autism or ASD)

When I read of other people's children on here, it does sometimes sound like they are displaying traits of autism. I do think it is worth trying to get a diagnosis if you suspect it. It can help to understand their behaviours and may help to get further support (if you're lucky!)

Some of the things we'd struggled with over the years are quite common with children with ASD - sleep issues, difficulty getting him to do homework, school issues, social interaction, sensitivity to some clothes, fussy with food, difficulty getting him to go anywhere (e.g. on holiday) that he doesn't want to visit, obsessive interest in computer ...

Linda, I think the difference between high functioning autism and Aspergers is to do with early language development - if language development was normal as a toddler, then it's Aspergers. However they are looking to move towards only diagnosing Autism Spectrum Disorder and not Aspergers any more.

Sharon

Sarah - We got our diagnosis through CAMHS. And there is no need for it to take too long - the psychologist carried out the assessment (ADOS) over 2 appointments.

Sharon

,My son is 11 , has high functioning autism. He displays all of the above things you have written Sharon, some have got better with time but most are still very much there. He has been school refusing for two weeks now.

Hi Sharon - we went through CAMHS and it was one of those days my son wasn't very co-operative in fact he never said a word or even looked at the guy so i can't see how they could just dismiss it.


I think i might try and see what the GP says.

Sarah xx

Cathy - It's sad that this seems to be quite common with children with autism. I was talking to two sets of parents last week with 13 yr old daughters with autism who have both gone through school refusal. I really think the education system needs to be doing more for children where there are school related issues. At the moment it seems like we are expected to put our children through full days at school with full curriculum and homework no matter what, when perhaps this is not sensible for every child and some children may need to be helped to feel comfortable with school maybe through a reduced timetable, or maybe by doing more of the activities they enjoy etc. etc. It's only when things go horribly wrong that anyone suggests maybe a reduced timetable would be better - but by then you've got the problem of how on earth to even get them to go back to school! When we had issues trying to get my son to school on time in Yr 6 (and then it was just 10 - 15 mins late each day - but at least he was going!) the headmaster talked to us, told us there wasn't anywhere to go for help and said that the reason my eldest (non SR) son was getting to school on time was because we were paying (he was at a private secondary) - crazy reasoning, it is just that my eldest is a completely different child who doesn't have issues with school!

Sarah - They shouldn't have dismissed it. In the first part of the assessment my son answered 'Don't know' to virtually everything which worried me as I wasn't sure they would be able to diagnose from that. He was more cooperative with other parts of the assessment that didn't involve direct questioning. And in fact, after the diagnosis and more recently when we have seen a psychiatrist & an educational psychologist, they both could see that it was obviously asd.

If you wanted to try for a diagnosis privately, there is a place in Cambridge that was recommended to me by the CAMHS psychologist - but I have a feeling it was about £800! We waited for the CAMHS appointment in the end as it was too far to go at a time when I could hardly get my son out of the house.

Do you think your son might be a little more cooperative with an assessment if he thought a diagnosis could help him?

Hi Linda,
I didnt know about Aspergers when he was a child- but I knew that he was difficult and different from my others. Now though with hindsight I believe his quirks were possibly asd traits. He never slept lying down in cots or prams like other kids- would only cat nap in the car seat- i would spend ages in the car driving him around. He would go beserk if he saw a piece of fruit. He would refuse to wear coats, he went weird in nursery when he had to wear an easter bonnet or some kind of dressing up costume. He never made friends, was tearful in primary school, kept putting his hand up or shouting out. He obsessively read Horrid Henry books. He would watch Toy story and Mr Bean again and again. As he grew his obsessions changed so he would then watch Adam Sandler films over and over. He still never made friends. He would have to kick objects in the street. His "ways" are just too numerous to mention. His school reports were always the same- immature- will grow out of it. Secondary school reports were more of the same, until he stopped going. I think it started when I took him out for dentist appts ( as a toddler we had to go to a special clinic as he couldnt cope with normal dentists) and he refused to go back to school afterwards until he would refuse to go at all. Fast forward to puberty and his "meltdowns" when we had to change a scheduled appt, or a sibling ate "his" food. School were hopeless as they considered it was all down to lack of boundaries and poor parenting. Tell me how its my parenting that makes him only eat food on blue plates or have to skim off the top of baked beans, or only eat sausages if in a set pattern? Why is my parenting at fault when he takes things litreally eg even when in pain in A and E refused pain relief as she offered him painkillers- and he thought she wanted to kill him.
Anyway ,even though Gp told us his behaviour was normal, school said any problems were because of us we kept going and took him to the chocolate teapot service called CAMHS. He hid and refused to speak- their diagnosis?our fault- lack of boundaries- discharged him. We went to a peaditrician- he hid under the couch ( at 14yrs)- diagnosis- none- but he wished us all the best for the future anyway.
Fast forward this year- to a different paedrician who was willing to consider it wasnt all my fault and gave us some ASD questionaires. Today saw a different Camhs who had read through some reports and diaries I had written and I have come away with some more questionnaires.
Watch this space!