Hi Everyone,

Haven't posted for a while but I am pleased to say that my 14 year old son has attended a full day at school after 18 months of awful school refusal and a further 18 months of home education.

He has started at a tutorial college in central London which has a GCSE unit. It is expensive and may well bankrupt us but we decided to give it a go for one term.

He managed the interview, went back for the entrance assessments, managed the induction day and then had to go in for an assembly. He was due to start lessons last week and didn't manage to go in at all. I told him at the end of last week, that we were not going to commit to the school fees (I had managed to hold off paying them) and that it was home schooling again for him. On Friday, he begged me not to give up on him and that he could do it and the principle also talked me round saying 'give us a term with him'. So we had a plan for Monday but after a very busy weekend, he just couldn't do it. I knew he was exhausted, (had two full on football matches at the weekend) and said we would try on Tues and I wasn't going to give up on him. Tuesday came and I took him to school. He was due to try two lessons. He was very articulate and said, i am not going to do any lessons but I want to see my tutor and the senco lady. So I got him to reception and off he went. He came back with them an hour later with a plan to try two lessons yesterday. So I took him in yesterday and off he went with the senco lady. They said they would call me after the first two lessons. He ended up staying the whole day. He came home on his own and said it was great and he didn't feel anxious at all. I walked him to the tube this morning and off he went. I still can't believe it but really feel there is a shift in his behaviour and attiude. Its great as he has a very basic timetable with no languages and lots of study periods where they can do their homework (he loves this). He also says the teachers treat them differently. He said they are like normal people !

Over the summer, I have taken him to a wonderful cranium osteopath who a friend told me about.
The minute he felt his head, he said i can tell he had a traumatic birth. He asked if the cord was round his neck when he was born. It was indeed, wrapped three times round and he was in fact stuck in the birth canal for 45 minutes whilst the dr's struggled to get him out. Everytime I pushed, his heart slowed down. This the osteopath believes is the reason my son is so 'highly strung'. He has so many blockages in his nervous systems, his body is just out of kilter and everything is being channelled to his heart causing palpitations etc. he said he would be a different child in 3 months. He has only had 1 sessions and already, his sleep has improved, no more waking up in the night and incredibly, he has grown 1/2 inch (hasn't grown in two years!) And no more anger tantrums which the osteopath said was frustration not anger. He said his hormones were all over the place which was why he hasn't yet started puberty. He did say I would see a difference straight away and would only need 2 or 3 sessions with 6 weeks in between. His next session is next week. So, I just wonder, how was the birth for other school refusers? If they have had a bad birth, maybe try and see a cranium osteopath. I did take my son when he was first born as he had awful colic but the osteopath said it was very difficult to treat babies and the best time was 10 or 11 years old but 14 yrs old was fine but may take longer.

So I know we have a long way to go and he may well come home tonight with a different attitude but I am keeping my fingers crossed. The big test will be when the clocks go back and it is dark when he has to leave the house to go to school. But I remain hopeful. Everyday was a struggle when he was home schooled, refusing to see tutors, do any work and I really think he hated it so much that this is the incentive for him.

Sorry to ramble and I know life with our children is an emotional rollercoaster but today, I can see light at the end of the tunnel.

Thinking of you all,

sophy

Sophy - what an interesting post. And fantastic that your son did all this! And by himself with motivation to do this. And you never gave up on him - he noticed that : )

As for the difficult birth - now that is interesting. My son also had a difficult birth. The chord was not around his neck but his head was in fact too large (over due) to come out! So it was a forceps delivery. His body temp dropped so dramatically they had to put him under special lamp for most of day. I ended up passing out and needing transfusion. I had also had incredible stress during the end of the pregnancy as that is when his father wanted to leave. I remember thinking that my stress level in those last three months might have been the problem. Perhaps a combination.
What does a cranium osteopath actually do?

It is certainly worth a try (I don't think we can just work on the minds of our kids - I think there are also diet factors that might be at work). I am very interested in the research done on autistic children that believes that the child may have been on a course of antibiotics and thus low immunity - especially stomach immunity that then meant the inoculation they all get as a baby/toddler was not taken in propery/reacted with immunity. (I think I have that correct!). My son's sleep pattern is up the creek (as we say down under : ),
and he is not a good eater. He seems hyper sensitive to a lot of things.

Love to hear more, Sophy, and how things keep going. And I note the football seems to be going along ok too - that is great that he is involved in things outside school.
Take care,
Linda

Hi Linda,

I copied this from a website:


General information on

Cranial Osteopathy

Osteopathy
Osteopathy is a system of diagnosis and treatment which works with the structure and function of the body.
The maintenance of good mechanical function is essential to good health. Problems in the framework of the body can disturb the circulatory system or nerves to any part of the body, and affect any aspect of health.
Osteopaths work to restore the structure and function of the body to a state of balance and harmony, so helping the whole person.

What is Cranial Osteopathy?
Cranial osteopathy is a refined and subtle type of osteopathic treatment that encourages the release of stresses and tensions throughout the body, including the head.
It is a gentle yet extremely effective approach and may be used in a wide range of conditions for people of all ages, from birth to old age.
Osteopaths may have different specialities including sports injuries, paediatrics, and visceral osteopathy (treating the internal organs of the body). Cranial osteopathy embraces all of these.

lnvoluntary Motion- The Cranial Rhythm

Cranial osteopaths are trained to feel a very subtle, rhythmical shape change that is present in all body tissues. This is called Involuntary Motion or the Cranial Rhythm. The movement is of very small amplitude, therefore it takes practitioners with a very finely developed sense of touch to feel it. This rhythm was first described in the early 1900's by Dr. William G. Sutherland and its existence was confirmed in a series of laboratory tests in the 1960's and '70's.

Tension in the body disrupts the cranial rhythm. Practitioners compare what your rhythm is doing to what they consider ideal. This shows them what stresses and strains your body is under at present, and what tensions it may be carrying as a result of its past history. It also gives them an insight into the overall condition of your body, for example if it is healthy, or stressed and tired.

Accumulation of stress and strain in the body
When we experience physical or emotional stresses our body tissues tend to tighten up. The body may have been able to adapt to these effects at the time, but a lasting strain often remains. Any tensions which remain held in the body can restrict its free movement. Gradually the body may find it more and more difficult to cope with accumulated stresses and symptoms may develop.


He explained to me that the blood is pumped through the body and into the brain. The brain then pumps cerebal fluid through the body via the nervous system.That is how I understood it although I may be wrong. And it is these channels that are blocked with my son which effects the nervous system and creating anxiety amongst other things. The damage happened when the drs were trying to get my son out during the birth! He could even feel where the forceps had made a dent in my sons head! He told me that my son's head was sitting incorrectly on his shoulders. He spent alot of time manipulating my son's skull, the base of his skull at the back of his head, his eye sockets, nose. He also clicked his back, shoulders. My son became very trance like, very strange to watch. He also asked my son, do you pee alot? My son said yes. Do you get two stiches on either side of your tummy when you run a lot? Another yes. He asked him if he found it difficult to concentrate at school? Another yes. It just went on and on! My son was totally blown away as all of this has improved. He told us that his body has been functioning at 2/3rds of its capacity which is why he is always really exhausted after his football matches. He has too work much harder that anyone else to get his body to function properly.

This particular osteopath treats alot of premiership footballers and specialises in children with special needs. I heard about him via a friend. Her son had been diagnosed with dyspraxia and 6 months later he seems cured. He is 10 and his writing was like a 6 year old and now his writing is beautiful and even won the english prize at school last year. She has been nagging me to take my son for agese and I was very sceptical at first but now I wish i had taken him before.

anyway, i would suggest you investigate as it may help.


With regards to my son's football, we are very lucky he has continued. Although he is no longer playing academy football as he just couldn't take the pressure, he is still playing at a very high level. I think he has been able to continue this as his team mates do not live locally and have no idea of what my son has been going through and my son is able to think he is 'normal'. I think the football has been a godsend for him as it has remained his one constant and got him out of the house during the darkest times.

Hope this helps.

Sophy

Sophy,

That is fantastic news that your son has been to school! I really, really hope things progress well. I know it is such early days at the moment though. I think that if he can feel that he's in control of his education and that nobody is going to make him do something that he doesn't want to then it helps, so it's great that he has a basic timetable and it sounds like the school are likely to be very understanding.

Interesting about the cranial osteopathy. It wasn't a difficult birth though - although I had the same as you Linda with having to put him under one of those heat lamp things as they wouldn't let me take him home until he was at the right temperature, heat lamp didn't seem to work though and it was picking him up and cuddling him that seemed to do the trick with warming him up!

Sharon

Hi Sophy, so happy for you and your son! Hope that he has continued to feel good about going. My daughter has been attending school regularly for the past 4 weeks after a very difficult year so I know the feeling of relief. We have just started our school holidays in Australia for 2 weeks so hoping and praying this doesn't set her back when it is time to return.
While her birth was not traumatic in the physical sense, I like Linda had an extremely stressful pregnancy due to my husband wanting to leave and ended up having a c-section and staying in hospital after her birth for 10 days because of my stress levels. I have often thought that this may have contributed to her being anxiety-prone.
You have given me a lot of food for thought and I am now looking up cranial osteopaths to see if we have any specialists in our area.
Keep in touch...

Hi Sophy- how interesting- you have just jogged my memory of a talk I went to when mine was a toddler on Cranial Osteopathy- i was interested as mine was born by an emergency casearean and then stayed in hospital a week with jaundice.
I dismissed her talk as being a bit cranky and far too expensive to afford anyway-but now considering all the challenges I have had- perhaps there is something to it after all.

Hi Sophy,
My daughters birth was traumatic as I had an emergency caesarian due to pre-eclampsia. The high blood pressure caused the cord to thin out, my kidneys and liver weren't functioning properly and she was a tiny 4 pound baby though only came 2 and a half weeks early. My obstetrician never picked up that I had it until the day she was born as I went in with stabbing pains in the belly. Yet I had a lot of swelling in the hands, face and feet, something I never had with the previous two. I felt so bad after the birth I developed panic attacks.
Great news about your son, all the best for the new school year!