I posted back in April about how we had been called in for a meeting with the Local Authority about my childs school attendance. We were told in the meeting that enough was enough and my child either returns to school or we de-register him and find alternative education either in another area or home school. If we didn't do this they would begin court proceedings.

In May my son got a place in a small private school which was so different from the very large comprehensive that he used to attend that we hoped he would be able to cope better. He has classes of 8, there is no school uniform and the school is very flexible. He seemed happy for a few weeks but over the long summer holidays he said he didn't want to go back there. We got him to return after help from the school. Unfortunatley this week he has refused to go again and is now staying in bed and saying he is too stupid to do his GCSE's so there is no point in going to school. It is his GSCE year.

I now have no idea what to do. We are outside the state system, the LA will begin court action once they find out he is missing school. We tried all avenues during our time in the state system such as Statementing, Parenting classes, home ed and alternative provision but my son has refused to engage with any of these. We tried to get him assessed by CAMHS but they refused to help as my son wouldn't engage with the lady when she visited.

Has anyone any idea what I should do next?

Hi. What's the new school's take on his current feelings about not going in? I can feel the frustration (and despair?) in your post but it's still quite early days yet for this term. He may still agree to go back. Sorry I haven't sought out your earlier post due to lack of time so forgive me if I'm going over old ground. Is he struggling with GCSE subjects or is he just feeling low? You mention statementing but I'm not sure if this is due to learning difficulties, ASD or other issues.
Don't know what your local authority is like but I can't see that anyone has anything to gain by prosecuting you for his non-attendance when it's so clear you have done everything you can and that agencies you have approached have withdrawn when you most needed them. Have you had Education Welfare/Attendance Officer involvement in the past or has the threats of prosecution come from the state school he used to attend? I'm not as far down this route as you but am struggling wih a 13 year old who's missed most of the last 3 years of school due to a physical condition which has morphed into (mainly) a psychological one. CAMHS won't work with my son as he's seen as "not ready" or "not co-operating" with CBT and there is nowhere else to go unless we find the money for private treatment, which, as I've recently had to give up work, looks unlikely. I'm desperately trying to find a system that works: either attendance at school (which is what my son says he wants but so far hasn't managed) or enrolment with an online school (which is fast becoming what I'd like for him if he is to get anything like a reasonable education). I feel there is a limited time before puberty kicks in fully and it all becomes even more difficult.
However, regarding your situation, I'm sure someone will post soon who's been through similar experiences and who can advise you on the likelihood (or not) of the local authority going for prosecution and what you can do about it. Try not to fall into despair in the meantime and do take care of yourself.

Hi Alexandra,

So sorry to hear how things have gone. There are posts on here from much earlier this year or end of last year from a couple of parents who were faced with the threat of court action. As far as I know - no one has actually been taken to court in recent years on this issue in the UK. Perhaps you could get in touch with your local parent partnership. I know Sarah on here has found them very supportive. They might be able to give you some advice of what to do next.
http://www.parentpartnership.org.uk/

Are you able to home school? Can you afford tutors? It is a pity that CAMHS have been no good. It might be worth checking in with them again, however, as they may have someone different or they may try a different approach?
Are you able to afford a private psychologist who might work with cognitive behaviour therapy?
And as Leah has said - it is still early days yet - perhaps you might get the support and try and get your son back even for short days or some lessons?
Let us know how you go - it's a tough road. Hang in there - I am sure you will find some help soon.
Take care,
Linda

Hi Alexandra

How are things going?

My son's also at a private school. Although the school will have to inform the EWO about your son's attendance, you might find that they don't contact you because they don't really seem to know what to do when it is a private school they are dealing with.

I did contact the EWO originally in the hope of getting some help, but I haven't heard from her for a long time now.

Also, even though you have gone private, the LA should still try to help you. Where did you get to with the statementing?

Don't worry too much about threats of court proceedings, hopefully they won't have a leg to stand on as you have been doing your best to get your son educated.

I would get referred back to CAMHS - it is not unusual for children like this to not engage. You could also get in touch with the LA - the EWO, or the Special Educational Needs team, or the Education Officer for your area - and see what they can do to help you. Might also be worth writing to your local MP too as your son is being failed by the medical & educational systems. If you get your MP involved then hopefully the LA will not consider court proceedings.

Sharon

Thank you everyone for your advice and help. Its sure good to know that I am not alone with all this. I have a meeting with the school tomorrow so will keep you posted.

You may have seen this article before but in case you haven't

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1285219/Boy-school-phobia-wins-apology-education-chiefs-tried-prosecute-parents.html

If you don't have a diagnosis of school phobia/refusal yet perhaps you could use the support of your GP to be referred back to CAMHs? Not engaging is common for these children, heck my daughter won't engage with me half the time especially when her anxiety is high. The psyche nurse we were assigned by CAMHS for 'exposure therapy' was a cold and stern woman, she made the hairs on my neck stand up and it was no surprise to me that my daughter refused to have anything to do with her again. Of course this now reflects on daughter and me that support is being refused! All I did was write to say it would not be possible to work with this individual could we please try again with someone else!

I can imagine the pressure you are under, my daughter is in year 9 and so far refusing her new school (I removed her back in Feb from a private school where she had suffered longterm bullying), the pressure is on my head now to have her in school, it must go up a few notches in year 10 :( legal intervention has been mentioned here and there to me too. This is intimidation - we are family's seeking and requiring support not opposition.

Being strong and centred in ourselves is the only way to be, if I am having a bad day and try to deal with the professionals it ends up a bit of a pile on and I feel intimidated and bullied. When I am prepared however and feeling confident and strong progress is better.

I have a meeting soon between CAHMs, Ed psyche, EWO, SC and me - I intend to go prepared with brief timeline of events and avenues tried and failed, contributing factors etc as well as suggestions I have from Director of Ed at Red Balloon (short stay centres in uk for bullied children).

If these professionals don't first acknowledge that our children suffer with a mental disability (for whatever reason) then it is our responsibility to keep on pushing until they do. Keep strong Alexandra and keep posting your progress, I will do the same - Clarity