I came across this article on parenting.co.uk today written by a caring father whose teenage son was a school refuser. Near the end of the article he quotes something his son had written about his experiences of being a school refuser and what happened to trigger his decision to move forward again in his life. Very inspiring to read:-

"Anyone who saw me now would believe I was just a normal kid. A kid who has a family, has friends and goes to school. But I used to sit in school, excluded from the crowd - alone, afraid and wondering to myself, How long until the end of the day? Finally, the bell would ring and with it came a feeling of utter joy, happiness and relief. I would push open the door and run, like an animal released into the wild after a period of captivity. I would run home, open the front door, go upstairs, slam my bedroom door and cried.

I could tell people were mad at me. I could tell people wanted me back at school… and now! But it wasn't going to happen. Not just like that. I could see it in their faces. Every time I went out of the house, I had to avoid certain places, avoiding people, because I was scared of what they might say. In fact, I was scared of everything.

One day off school turned into two. Two turned into a week. Suddenly, before I knew it, it was a whole school term. The longer I stayed at home, the harder I felt it would be to ever go back. I could feel it inside, it was getting worse. I was becoming more frustrated, more alone.I felt like I would never go back to school. Ever.

During this time, I admit my relationship with my dad was not quite as strong as it had been before. I could sense in him that he couldn't understand why I wouldn't go to school. There was a period where I even dreaded the thought of him coming to visit for the weekend. I was too ashamed, embarrassed and scared. I was scared of what he might ask, what he might say, what he might do. I had no hope, and my confidence was at an all time low.

I had no trust in anyone: my parents, my friends, my therapist, and even myself. I had no trust that it was going to be alright. I thought I had gone into a dark cave and that I was never going to come out!
Then, after having probably the worst week of my life, I decided I can't live on like this. I realized that I was going to end up killing myself.

So I went and got the computer, sat down, and emailed my dad. It was time to return to school.
To cut a long story short, I did get back into school. I moved to Brussels and now I'm enjoying school more than ever! And if I have learned one thing, it would be this: You cannot live life without belief - belief in others, belief in life and most important of all belief in yourself".

Here is a link to the complete article:-

http://www.parenting.co.uk/education/School-Refusal.cfm

I wonder if I should have my son read that article. Now that he is in school again he would like to forget about it.

Maybe once the whole thing is a bit further behind him, the article might inspire him to share some of his own experiences of SR and how he felt/feels? Just as validation of each other on similar experiences we are going through as parents of SR's really helps us to feel understood and supported, I am guessing it would be similar for our children too. Sharing with people who have been where we have and really 'get it' is a vital part of recovery imo.

My daughter hasn't read the article yet but on a day where she is 'open' to it, I will see if she would like to learn from another teen's experiences with SR.