school refusers
a resource for parents
Hi All,
Sorry I haven't posted for a while. I have been visiting and keeping up with all your news but with everything moving forward with dear daughter I didn't want to tempt fate. Anyhow to cut a long story short DAUGHTER HAS BEEN IN HER FIRST LESSON AT SCHOOL TODAY WITH OTHER KIDS SINCE OCTOBER 2011. As you can tell I want to shout it from the roof tops. We are so proud of her and even this morning she was starting to panic about it and I had to come home early from work and talk her through it but SHE DID IT and she said she loved it.
She will now continue with her tutor every week having one lesson with her in a room in school and then going into this lesson with the other kids once a week. Her tutor goes with her until she feels happy to do it herself then they will do the same with another subject that d will choose untill she is eventually back in full time. It could take a while to get back full time but there is no hurry.
She is absolutely buzzing tonight and is so proud of herself.
Hang in there everyone and remember what I have always said keep holding onto your hope, it is all we have to keep us going.
I will keep you posted to how she gets on.
Take Care
Sue xx
Sue, this is wonderful news, thanks for sharing it with us, it gives me hope that my daughter too will take these steps forward when she is ready. Lets hope understanding of SR keeps growing amongst educators and the support agencies.
Thanks everyone and Linda I believe time is what has helped my daughter and the removal of all pressure. It is as if she has just got her head round it, she has matured so much in this last year and she now takes everything from others with a pinch of salt. Her tutor from the start said it had to be a very slow, softly softly approach she told d that she would only do things when she was ready and she would not be made to do anything and I think putting this trust in d for her to do it when she was ready took the pressure of and gradually her fear has reduced and her confidence has grown.
One of the methods that her tutor has used is that all the work that d and her have done ie English Maths Science etc every comment in her exercies book is a positive comment and everything they have done has been filled with praise. This has certainly raised d's self esteem and I think she now actually likes herself : )) Further more she trusts her tutor totally and knows that becasue she is with her in class any sign of d looking uncomfortable or unhappy tutor and her will leave. Its like her safety exit if she needs one.
I would advise all of you to try and get hospital and home tuition involved, your kids schools should be able to refer you but it has certainly done the trick for us and until they became involved we couldn't see any solution of what we could do. We felt so alone.
Take Care
Sue X
One of the methods that her tutor has used is that all the work that d and her have done ie English Maths Science etc every comment in her exercies book is a positive comment and everything they have done has been filled with praise. This has certainly raised d's self esteem and I think she now actually likes herself : )) Further more she trusts her tutor totally and knows that becasue she is with her in class any sign of d looking uncomfortable or unhappy tutor and her will leave. Its like her safety exit if she needs one.
Sue, i'm going to print out the above and pass it on when appropriate to do so - at the moment I'm so mad with the professionals assigned to my daughter's case as they are very slow in learning what really works. Authoritarian style with a good peppering of blaming and shaming are the current methods employed to get d to re-engage with school life
needless to say it hasn't worked only made things worse and then as someone has to cop the responsibility - that would be me right now 
It's great to know that this nightmare does come to an end eventually, it gives strength to not give up, thanks for sharing what worked for your daughter.
