Hi

I am a single parent with a 13 year old daughter who is in the process of getting diagnosed as a school phobic, we are currently waiting for a CAMHS assesment. It has taken a year to get this far. I feel very alone as I do not know anyone else in the same situation and have had to deal with this on my own, it would be nice to share experiences with others and any help in dealing with it would be appreciated.

Julie

Hi Julie,

Welcome to the forum and so glad you have found us on here - you are not alone. There are lots of us out here and like you, we have also felt very alone. This forum saved me a couple of years or so ago from despair....

Has your daughter been at school at all over the past 12 months? Did it start for her when she started secondary school? It is a common time for this to kick in, although there are often symptoms at primary school as well.

My son is also 13 and I'm also a sole parent. He gets to school on average about 3-4 days a week at the moment which is a positive...yet I sit on edge every day - never knowing. He seems to have broken through the meltdowns in a morning but he hates school so much that it all starts to unravel sometimes. and this morning he was very angry and was begging to be picked up early. The school environment is a difficult one, for our kids, who seem extra sensitive to everything around them. If I do pick him up today - few people outside of those going through this - understand.

Does your daughter have any friends or did she have any? Was there any bullying? Is she motivated to do any school work? Are there other siblings? Is your ex supportive? (Does he understand the situation and accept it?).

One thing that did help me and my son move forward was when I did accept that he had this illness and that I needed to embrace him where he was and not keep hoping he'd just 'get better' by chance. He is now on medication and that has lifted his mood - although the last couple of days that hasn't been the case....so it isn't the only answer. It has given him a bit more emotional strength, however, to face a few more things.
Don't listen to those who blame....they just don't understand what we go through.
Your daughter needs all your love as she is probably also feeling very lonely/alone and has no idea why she is feeling so bad.
I hope that you can find the support through camhs. Stay in touch.....people come on here to rant and rave, cry, give advice....whatever....it stops us all feeling like we are going crazy ourselves.
Take care and hope to hear back from you soon.
Linda xx