Since Easter holidays my DD has started going to school every morning attending registration and science lesson 3 sessions a week, also attending 1:1 session with school councilor and trying to go to group counselling session but this one, not quite so successful. No further help from CAMH's waiting for 1:1 and family appointments after DD being unable to attend group Kool Kids sessions earlier this year as the expectations were to high for her to deal with the level of anxiety she felt. I am using the Kool Kids programme at home with DD a couple of times a week and practicing the skills, like realistic thinking, relaxation, problem solving and creating step ladders.All these are contained in Helping your anxious child: A step by step guide for parents. R. Rapee. It is a great read and offers practical, positive help with lots of the problems we have. But I am finding it hard to pin down DD's precise worries, what is she scared of, so much of each situation causes her worries that it takes for ever to get over some of her worries.
Going to her group counselling session is challenging her greatly at the moment and helping her deal with it is so frustrating. She gets anxious about new people, new experience, what will they think of her, will she be able to leave if there is a problem, will her "funny tummy" mean she will be sick, getting to hot, room to small, unkind children, expectations of her, unexpected happenings during the session, and so on, it is so overwhelming no wonder that she feels so anxious about it. I don't know how to narrow down the field to have any impact on her anxiety when so many things cause her to worry. Despite this I am teaching her at home and am on Sick leave from work with stress related issues, financially this is becoming more challenging and something that my husband and I need to deal with and sort out. I also need to have a word with my self about going out and leaving DD at home with other family members as separation anxiety is now a big issue for the whole family. I miss our family days out, I know the children are growing up and they don't want to do the same sort of things they did in the past but DD's anxiety adds a whole different dimension to going out as a family and I so miss it. Thanks for reading and letting me unload a few issues of my own, would appreciate any advice. Many thanks and best wishes to all.

Hi Mark and Boo

It is good that your daughter is able to do some things.
Have you considered the possibility of medication? My son started medication this year (he is 13, turns 14 this year) and it has helped. He is now able to get out of he house (apart from school), is ok about going to the shops with me, visits relatives etc. Before this he was just unable to get out of the house.
He still finds the school environment difficult but the medication seems to make things a bit easier.
With heightened anxiety, however, some of the old symptoms and habits kicked in an this week was a real challenge as he had tests every day. He struggled to get to school and was late each day and very stressed. But he still managed. If he wasn't on medication, I don't think he would have managed. He is now more able to take on the idea of cognitive behaviour therapy which is another thing that works for anxiety, but only if they are willing to give it a try.

The other thing that might eventually help with your daughter is just that step forward in maturity. The understanding that she has to put in something in order to help make herself cope or feel better. This has helped my son this year too I think.
Its such a slow process, isn't it. I can hear your frustration. You are doing all you can by the sound of it.
Its hard when you can't do those family things. And my son hates the idea of 'group sessions' and has never managed them. Even for us, I'd imagine group sessions could be confronting - you just can't hide.
Hang in there and give yourself a pat on the back for having the patience you do have. Perhaps talk to your doctor or counsellor about medication and see what they think.
Take care
Linda

Thanks for the support Linda, its funny you mentioned medication as DD's councilor at school mentioned it too this week. Will definitely keep it in mind. A very erratic week, good days and difficult ones. No school Tuesday, I could not leave her with her dad in the afternoon at home as I had planned to go out with my brother but DD went bezerk, I should have left the house and left Lucy with her dad but just could not do it in the heat of the moment. I am determined to work on that from now on. As well as all the other stuff that we are working on. DD Went to registration Wednesday, and Assembly then group session in the afternoon on Thursday. I was also able to go out for an hour as my mum minded DD after lots or realistic thinking to help her find the strategies that would help her not to panic during that hour. Then today she went to Registration and science. So the week got better. Now I am planning to join a choir next week but that means going out for a couple of hours in the evening which will be an issue but I have to do it I need to and DD needs to understand and learn to deal with it. Got a CAF meeting next week with school and other appropriate adults who support DD so am looking forward to seeing what comes from that. Very pleased with DD's LSA from school she understands the situation very well and is upbeat and positive in her relationship with DD.

Hope the progress your son has made continues. Thanks for the kind words of support Linda and here's to more 'tiny steps'. DD said to me the other day 'Mum, there is no such thing as failure, just mistakes that we can learn from. ' wise words from our lovely lass.

Hi

Did you join the choir? How did your daughter react? It must be very wearing for you to have her constantly needing you by her side. Hopefully she'll start to move forward from this soon and give you the break you need. The small steps she is taking all sounds positive.

My son was sick last week with a cold (fairly mild...but you know what our kids are like) so had three days off and then on Saturday came down with an even worse cold and was in bed most of the weekend. So after four days off this week -I was very proud of him as he finally made it in today. I was worried that school just wouldn't happen again but with lots of encouragement and asking him to 'psych' himself into knowing he was going today (and with the medication) this is a better return than in previous times of illness.

Good luck - let us know how you get on.
Linda