My 9 yr old daughter has been suffering from school refusal and anxiety problems since starting primary school I have struggled to get the school to recognize she has this problem. I feel really awful that i had forced my daughter for years, now i now differently. Back in 2010 I raised by concerns with the school and they were honest and said they have never dealt with this before and referred the matter to the early intervention team who spoke with my daughter and because my daughter said she was fine did nothing and claimed the problems were because of home. It now at the point where now my daughter does not go in at all.

We are under CAMH's who have been quite supportive up to now but that may change. I have repeatedly told the school about the situation and they refuse to assess my daughter, despite 2 gp letters,a telephone call to the class teacher and I wrote a letter explaining this. I have now started to log all communications I have with the school etc. I even informed the school that that I have made a statutory request for a assessment and and predicted got refused. I recently received a letter from the school starting that want to support my daughter however she needs to be in school and that they want more information from he GP regarding the problem - and that they have reported the absences to EWO - all tricks to harass and scare to force my daughter to school they will have a battle on their hands.

I am stick on writing a letter in response to the letter can any one help offline? I have also sent a letter to the head of governors as they are meant to use they best endeavors- does anyone have any experience with discussing the matter with the governors?

Can anyone suggest a good educational law solicitor, Maxwell Galliot never return my call, i was given another one from wales but there dont do legal aid. I have tried to contact ISPEA but their line is always busy

thanks for listening

Hi Tracey

So sorry to hear about your struggles. I don't know that I can help you specifically - but I am sure someone on here will be able to help you.
Meanwhile - seeing your daughter is still quite young - is there a chance of getting a referral from the GP to a paediatrician? My son was first diagnosed with general anxiety disorder by a paediatrician when he was 6.
The school still didn't seem to get their head around it - your story sounds a bit similar to mine - the school claimed they had not ever taught a child like mine!
My son is now 13 and a half. We have been to various psychologists and then found a great psychiatrist (GP referral) who has now prescribed medication.
Research all you can about School Refusal. There are some links in the resource section on this webpage. You will become the expert. Sadly the schools and many others in our community do not understand the seriousness of anxiety.
Have CAMHS made a diagnosis? Have they suggested what support should take place?
have you been in touch with your local Parent partnership? They are often helpful.
Take care -
Linda

We saw a community pediatrician in 2010 who diagnosed my daughter with separation anxiety, highly sensitive and not being valued but cant find the letter. Camhs have sent a letter to the Gp stating the diagnosis - anxiety and school refusal. Our local CAMHs is lucky enough to have their own specialist teacher. they are still trying to find out the cause of the school refusal. My daughter was brave and shared how school feels for her on her and next week they want to hear from me.

I have contacted my local parent partnership and he is worried that the EWO will try to pin a parental order on me and is unable to help me much other than prove read my letters as i have done all i can

I have also been speaking to 'young minds' psychologist who have been really helpful and have made a few suggestions. As my daughter is a creative child might be better of homeschooling or attending a Steiner school but both these options are not feasible, different types of therapy -art-drama music, have a mentor buddy , is talented but might have sensory issues I think CAMH are coming to the same conclusion and hoping they say that attending mainstream school is the problem.

I not going down the medication route as there is no clinical evidence to support the need for medication other than observation and opinion i would want a mri scan and blood test first and they never look at if there are any nutritional deficiencies that could be causing the problem.

hi Tracy

If you contact the Paediatrican's office - they should be able to re supply the letter - with computers - everything is kept these days.
Your daughter is a bit too young for medication - so I understand how you feel on that one. I waited until my son was at high school before I started him on medication as he wasn't getting better. As far as then making a choice in regard to medication - it is still observation of their behaviour that makes people reach this conclusion. It is very hard to find things wrong via an MRI scan as anxiety is still far too complex, as far as I understand, for them to quite know what is actually happening in the brain. They do know that one part of the brain is overworking in comparison to 'normal' individuals - as in the 'flight or flight' part of our brain. So I think the idea of medication might only become something you might want to consider later on if your daughter is not improving.

It is possible that our kids are also in need of a particular nutritional diet or supplement but from my research non of that is particularly conclusive either. I do hope that this is looked into more into the future.

Would you consider home-schooling? Is there a Steiner school nearby? Certainly if your daughter is creative then Steiner do run a great program and usually have much smaller schools and care about the individuals.
The question people usually ask themselves if the option of home schooling is put to them is; would my child be better off at a mainstream school so that they learn social skills?
Many ways around this include meeting with local home schooling groups or seeing if your daughter will join a hobby group or take some classes via a community group/arts centre etc.
Mainstream school doesn't work for all kids - and so other paths need to be taken.
Let us know how you go - It must be hard on you with all the stress.
Take care
Linda

My dd told CAMHS that her anxiety is worst in the morning before school and straight after school and now CAMHS are using this against her. She is able to settle into school once she is there and able to engage well with work and peers.

Its is clear that my dd is not secure nor feel safe in school to speak about how she feels but camhs does not see it like that. i dont know what to do about this any advise xxx TIA

Hi Tracey

Just wondering what you might have meant by 'use that against her'? Have they said something along these lines to you?

When my son was at primary school I was constantly told he was fine once he was there. However - what was happening was he was bottling all his anxiety in during the day (so he wasn't really himself), and after school - it would all come out and he'd be angry and frustrated and take it out on me. The school of course never saw those mornings or the pick up time.

You will need to explain to the school that this is common behaviour with children who do have an anxiety problem as they do learn to try and keep their anxiety in. It is also possible that your daughter does feel better once she is at school. My son and I used to talk about 'breaking through the barrier' to get to school and once on the other side it was better - but not without anxiety.
can you start taking notes in regard to other things at school that upset your daughter or bring on the anxiety. For example, if one of her friends is away - how does she cope? If the teacher is away sick and they have a fill in teacher - how does she cope? What if it is sports day? An excursion? School camp? Giving a talk to the class? Maintaining friendships? Do you notice any pattern with this kind of thing? At this stage maybe just observe and see if you can possibly find a teacher at the school who notices any change in your daughter when different expectations are placed on her. (My son's grade 6 teacher was the first to notice my son tense up if ever asked to do something or if the class situation was different). Usually if my son knew his teacher was gong to be away - then he just couldn't make it to school. But of course the teachers didn't see that. So document everything....and then present your findings to CAMHS.

Let us know how you go -
Take care - its a long road...lots of support on here though...you are not alone : )
Linda

what i meant by used against was they are say that she fine to go to school, I disagree I tried to explain to CAMHS but they are not listening. she does not handle a change to the lessons or teacher, ,even when she is asked a question her behaviour changes, she hates standing in a line, worries when her friends are away but no one notices,there are others i know about I keep giving camhs examples, she even told them she wets herself in the morning in fear of going to school but CAMHS still saying she fine to go school. They are not listening they have made up they mind and they sticking to it.

I even told them that she finds difficult to talk to adults and now they want her to talk over things again. I thought CAMH were to help children but it seems they dont and all they care about is getting them back to school. I am at a lost, wished I never ask CAMHS for help they are not helping.